RELIGION FRIGGERY ( CHECK IT…MEK WE DEBATE IT)

RELIGION

Blessed Love Met n all JMG family,

Firstly make me say congrats Met on how JMG keep evolving bigger n better.Me say dat cuz me notice u a run an evening n night shift now wid di sweet tea!!Next stop JMG haffi go put in a graveyard shift fi meet the demand!!

I must confess ive got a terrible track record of being kicked out of every church me ever visit!So me just decided to have a personal relationship wid GOD n cut out the “middle man/church!

Now ppl me want unno split justice n tell me if what me about to relate is not straight friggerry!!

So I visited this likkle church around a garrison.The Pastor a build a vibes wid him sermon so di place a rock n di Holy spirit a do him thing.All of a sudden me hear the Pastor declare ppl unno need fi know this n memba is GOD say suh not me…..”he that keepeth his mouth,keepeth his life”! Some a unno a informa n love suss too much n di bible say unno fi dead!

Same time me jump up n tear out mi eye,when me look round is me alone stand up n di Pastor say “siddung n listen di word of God!!” So me say no pastor di bible say thou shall not kill!!Di “man of God” say me must come outta him church if me no accept the word,so me just leave but to this day me wonder if is the Don get to the Pastor n tell him fi get rid of ppl Inna him flock smh..sighhh

Alright on to my next episode n di Reverend a do him ting so him say something n me no quite remember if it was a Q&A segment but me know me put up mi hand n him say yes my son what’s ur question so me just go thru! Me say Metters when me ask mi question mi look n see ppl a nod in agreement,some a clap n some a cheer on Rev fi ansa me. To this day im convinced that the Rev acted outta character cuz he was feeling the pressure of being put on the spot.

The next thing I know me hear a lil mumbling from di Rev so much that di whole congregation start lean forward fi ketch what him a say..but then it pick up!!!Would u believe the Rev start speak Inna tounges n say is the Devil send me n him rebuke me fi ask him dat!!By time me coulda blink n say excuse me,the front pew get up n they too start convulse n dis one bag a rolling eyes like rolling calf a come towards me! Trust me ppl me never wait fi di 2nd row ketch di spirit me run like the wind outta that church n make a oath never again to set foot near a church!!

It’s easy to prove when u really love someone cuz afta mi take me oath me break it cuz me mother wanted to carry me to fi har church! So me did just fix up mi car,overhaul engine n spray up n thing.Mi mother said son u know ppl badmind enuh n wid harm u so come a church make pastor bless di car n ward off di evil spirits!PPL a swear di car a run so good me coulda race n win Lewis hamilton Inna any grand prix but me say likkle prayer will make it even go faster.

Me reach a church n everybody love off mi car,all di ppl come outta di church fi witness the ceremony di pastor a perform pon mi car! Me turn di engine n it go vroom vroom n a kick like stone love box or van Damme so much that the church rail up n say amen!!! The pastor say lift di bonnet n me dweet then me see him a sprinkle what appeared to be olive oil all over di engine n tings.

Di pastor say go forth my son n God will keep u safe! So me start di engine,click click..nothing,click.click..nothing so di pastor start pray again! Long story short that car never START AGAIN,is about a hour n 20mins me did haffi wait all when pastor lock church n gone fi a wrecker come fi mi n charge me$6000!Dem time deh u coulda rent a studio apt a Beverly Hills fi bout $8000 so it bun me!!The next week me had to sell me car as is fi coke head money cuz di buyer saw it as scrap metal!

Too much episode but I leave yall wid this one cuz mi did end up give me mother di whole a mi mind instead of just a piece cuz sake a her church WE lose out!She look Inna herself n end up leave a church deh but she invite me to her new church n me say no me rather go hell n come back! She convinced me to just carry my lil nephews there since me no want go n she had to cook.I enter di church fi drop dem off n notice di pastor a talk abt this thing name “CHAIN Of PRAYER”.

Obviously my interest was piqued so me draw closer n dem say is when u put money everyday until what u a pray for come thru n di pastor will bless ur envelope!So me carry mi likkle nephew n say gimme 1 fi him deh so him can get likkle prayer cuz him want be a pilot! Di pastor say no its not 4 kids!!Yes yall know what happen next…yes me tek him on n say him fresher than fresh n renk at the same time!! Me say unno really a deny children prayer when Jesus say suffer di likkle children to come unto me!!?? Him deh pon my fren,my fren listen my fren…so me run him n say a money scam unno a run cuz pickney coins can’t enrich unno but unno fi memba di widow’s mite,gweh false prophet!!

Me just walk out wid mi nephew but when me reach home n tell me mother ahhhh sighhh!I was in my early 30s n me live alone but if she did beat me,me woulda tek it cuz she find dem kick out the lot of we outta church!

Religion systems are friggery more time cuz dem based n focus pon man n man will always fail u so just find GOD the Creator of heaven n earth n do good as often n as best as u can!

Mad love Met

27 thoughts on “RELIGION FRIGGERY ( CHECK IT…MEK WE DEBATE IT)

  1. Hmmmm… writer, you started this church thing before or after the episode with the taxi man a St. Thomas.

    Your writing buck!!!!

          1. One fool really makes many. A join dem join church an nutt’n more. Dem nuh have no evidence ah di Holy Spirit dwelling within them. Dem ah waggonist weh show up fi cheer on di fraud pastor dem wid di shenigan.

  2. Well Sender yuh episodes dem unfortunate, and mi luv di humor yuh intertwine wid yuh writings, nut’n beat ah good :ngakak But big and serous doe…why yuh mek di Pastor anoint di car wid di Olive Oil??? Is you di anointed oil fi deh pon. Nuff Pastor out deh wid dem ‘wolf in sheep clothing’ self, but nuh give up pon finding a place of worship fi fellowship wid like minded Christians. Di religion ting get outta control fi real. Gwaan read yuh Bible, honor the Lord wid your lifestyle & deeds, and keep holding di faith.

  3. @ sender, ur story tun up. A cah stop laugh. I believe in God wholeheartedly, love him with all my might but da church ting deh me just cah do it.

      1. Yes Met a lot of these pastors are just scoundrels who prey on the vulnerable and weak minded individuals. Such a deterrence for me and othere skeptics.I know I shouldn’t because my mom brought us up in the church and I do know some beautiful loving and kind Christians including my siblings but right now I just can’t.

  4. This religion thing is a big money making thing,all u have to do is check out the mega churches n superstar pastors wid dem jets pon youtube!Remember Jimmy swaggart n di one bag a bawling pastors??Even one pastor did say GOD come to him n tell him that the church must give him $11million usd n him did get it!

    1. When Oral Roberts did start out and used to come a Jamaica him used to heal fi true . I know someone he healed many years ago from epilepsy ..when him realize money ina di ting God tek whey dat gift from him

  5. You know Met Im a preacher’s kid and I can relate to the writer it sound funny but its true. Ive had to question my dad when I got older as i realised that his flock treated him like “God” but he isnt the only head minister that happens to. The Blairs, the Roberts, the T.D. Jakes of this world are all seen as set part from their lowly church members and dare you to question loudly their practices and their interpretation of a spiritual lifestyle. Some little member always swear by what the pastor say or the bishop say instead of doing what the bible ask to know the lord for yourself and try every spirit. Religion kills and religion cures and that is a very sad position indeed

  6. Me uncle did go bredda Blair church and ask Blair seh if a chue seh him have a gun. Blair tell him seh him have 2 gun the bible and a license gun. Him seh him have the license gun in case criminal bruk in the church cause when man a buss shot you haffi lick it back an pray lata.

  7. Most of dem start out wid di right intention….but AVARICE tek dem ova mek dem lose it all. Mi nah tun memba ah no church weh di pastor nuh practice weh him preach!!! If him nah look out fi di homeless, hungry and destitute, den nutt’n nuh deh dereso fi mi. If him hab any of di following mi werser nah guh tan up, much less sidung in ah dem church:
    Luxury car
    Luxury home
    Expensive Designer suits
    Expensive Designer Shoes
    Designer jewelry/watches
    Private jet
    ATM in Church

    Mi hold dem tuh ah high standard cah none ah dem nah bind me up wid dem sheggry and mek mi guh ah hell wid dem, nopes :hoax2

  8. Sender, the pastor should have put you under the hood and drowned you out along with the engine because only a crazy person would allow another idiot to flood their engine with oil. You are incompetent and should be shame to tell people that shit. Yeah, Pastors are people and no one is perfect, so you’ll always have issues in church. Personalities clash and there’s always conflict of interest no matter the organization, so Sir, if you are allowing people to ruin your property in the presence of the entire congregation, then yes, worship in isolation.

  9. @Manu, u need a beating for that comment :thumbup !!!..@Met, dem have one PENTECOSTAL ONE A ST.ANN, IF THAT SECT IS NOT A CULT I DONT KNOW WHAT IS…Real talk, no hear-say, cause i have a family member who’s been apart of that madness for years. NOT EVEN TV DI MEMBERS DEM CAN OWN INA DEM HOUSE..Me say di man scare me; and i swear his flock thinks HES THE MESSIAH!!

  10. Hi all, especially the sender. Your style of storytelling is entertaining (considering the topic) and refreshingly honest. Yes, the Shepard’s stop lying to God’s children and preach the truth – that salvation is free. No, charge …through Jesus Christ. The only way. And that the end of time is near. Sender don’t feel nuh way ah so the thing set. Maybe, you can ask God to direct you to a church where you can worship and serve.
    Go with Godspeed.

  11. :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak met n metters evening deh but u caan stop laugh. U know a so me go a one church n sin me soul n tell me self me nah go back , cau a nuh church dem a run a business. Dem ago tell me say fi b a member dem have to evaluate u tax form or w2 first, I jus tell dem me nuh have fi come church fi praise di lord so dem can keep dem membership

  12. Church now a days a joke d pastor boy deh did meek me have fi deal wid him wicked, me have met dem know me grow a church cau me granny did deacon. Basically after dem evaluate me w2 then me me know how much collection fi throw. I laugh out rass b4 me move at him, Mdk sure me tell him pastors like him drive away the real worshipper so of d lord

  13. Good nite Metsy n metters longtime no tawk
    U know I have a hard time with these pastors fi true the ones whey a speak inna tongues a confuse me n God does not give confusion at all n I have heard about churches where when it’s time for offering the steel gates come down n nobody caaa leave mi say church woulda really kick out that Sunday if me in deh n all dat gwaan smh we just have to know God for ourselves ya man.

  14. Good day met and metters
    Sender trust mi, mi understand yuh frustrations. Like many of us I have had my share of baptisms and what have you, but when I reached about 13 going 14 thats when I seriously started questioning the behaviour of the pastor and most definitely the word. 1 pastor mi raas dat man ongle repent 1 time ah d year n that is on new years eve while through out the rest of the year I neva si him repent yet but would be for ever pressuring the congregation to repent and mi get fi realise that majority of the memebers were related to him thru marriage n 1 particular bredda always used to go uo front n repent n den 1 sunday afta church mi ketch him ah buy some weed from d yute dem pon street n mi seh to mi self raas ah dat him ah pressure d man fi repent far kmt.
    Now where d word concern mi memba 1 next time mi did guh ah 1 church ah prospect n dem time deh mi about 17 blurtnawt ah who tell dem send tithes and collection plate round tuh mi. I put frankincense n myrrh inna dat raas mi big sista ketch mi n gi mi some raas evil yeye yuh si lol. Caz my thing is this weh d bumbo God ah do wid money? Mi tell mi old pastor n nuff others if anything mi can open up 1 account ah d bank n name it God’s Money and when it come it can get it.
    3rdly before Facebook did ban mi raas mi did inna speak your mind Jamaica n dem too did eventually ban mi outta dat caz every raas day yuh have some Christian person on there ah chat bout plead the blood of Jesus n wash mi in the blood. Suh mi seh to dem if that nuh sound like murder n cannibalism n all manna ah f**kry??? Dem cuss out mi raas n tell mi seh mi ah devil worshiper n im like no unno actions more fit that bill dem seh mi ah atheist n mi seh no I am a Deist I know there is a creator mi just nuh inna the Christian foolery weh d colonial masters did beat inna mi ancestors.

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