Are there any real reasons for abuse in a relationship, what are your opinions? I will write a few scenarios and then we can try to examine what the thoughts of the abuser
1. A young woman with a man who constantly beats her, she explains that he is more physically abusive if he thinks she has looked on another man. He then goes home, beats her to a bloody pulp after which he has sex with her and asks her if she loves him.
2. A man gets involved with a woman who is substantially prettier than what he thinks he deserves. He knows he cannot fully support the woman……..(so he thinks) and does allow her to flirt with men and get what she wants. He does know what she does, even introduces her to some of the men. But abuses her anyway.
3. A violent, boisterous female, the man is pretty shy and an introvert, the female realizes that he will never lay a hand on her and hits him every chance she gets. The man stays in the relationship but resorts to walking away from the blows whenever they do come
4. A man is in a long term committed relationship, his woman is comfortable and feels like he will never cheat. He cheats, she finds out and confronts him and is beaten to a pulp.
5. An abuser who met a promiscuous dresser, builds a relationship then abuses her for the way she dresses.
Number1.
That is an insecure man, possibly has mommy issues or even daddy issues. Doesnt know how to love, scared to love, and scared to lose as well. This man is Hurting on the inside and by hurting his other half it makes him feel more of a man because he is so insecure and knows he isnt good enough for her even though he is just that in her eyes (enough).
Number2.
IS a sick pathetic bastard weh born outa one big battyole .. batty man dis .. dis man dont love anything but man
Number3.
This man maybe perceived as a coward but he is a real man .. A real man never puts his hand on a female no matter what. This woman is a mischief maker this is the kind of woman who NEEDS to be in control because of her own insecurities.
Number4.
This man is a BIG STINKIN COWARD .. he beats out of frustration because he never dreamed his loving woman would find out he’s a dog shit ! Now she is no longer comfortable, shes arguing more, shes restless and stubborn and he is FRUSTRATED because of Guilt he himself cannot live with the fact that she now sees him as the bad guy. I would say he doesn’t respect her or her feelings because she has always been keeping the relationship together while he does what he do thinking she would NEVER EVER find out. These type of men want their cake and eat it too because he’s never going to leave any of the women.
Number5.
insecure insecure insecure and just plain disgusting ! Controlling and annoying a simple conversation just needed here .. some man a plain fool
Mi think di one whey tek di lick have issue because if u a go deh wid a woman and she a go lick u its time to go
Agreed Met.
Or
Maybe it’s not in his nature to .. I will never understand this particular situation because why a woman want to beat up a man especially if he ain’t doing shit .. Lol
That’s just cray cray
@Chemistry sometimes you can’t even watch gender..i went to elementary school wid dis mad white girl..she trang like ox and bite like any hungry pitbull…everybody feared her boys included…you ever watch those fight videos on FB with school girls??? mahsah girls now a days nuh fraid fi box box up dem man.
some man soft lmfao dem just nuh built certain way lol bwoy mi nuh knw
Scenario 1: I can identify with 100%. Even if the doorbell rings and i looked to see who it might be, it ah black and blue eye mi get. Phone mi couldn’t have, friends mi couldn’t keep, day in day out him cuss mi mek mi feel like my appearance was a crime to society. I secretly took classes in psychology and realized that the problem wasn’t me it was him. Insecurity is a disease in my book, because it diminishes your self-esteem and corrupt your psychy into thinking they MUST hurt others or makes one feels like an inferior, to feed their ego. Mi nah lie, after mi finally get fe run weh from dat situation, i had doubts about my own potential and who i was as an individual, until mi haffi remind miself say, I am more than what my abuser says of me! I have the last say!
Thanks met!
Number 4 in particular I’ve witnessed.
My Brother cheated on his girl like she caught him cheating on her after telling her one big lie she decided to go out with friends to drink and have fun ease it off a bit. Upon arriving, to her surprise was my brother and another girl (said girl he cheated with previously). She makes her way over to him with just a “hello” (she’s very soft spoken, nice girl) he looked as if he’d seen a ghost. He attempted to leave while she scurried behind him I guess to talk .. But it didn’t end so well .. Because he gave her about 5 big man tumps to the head. Along with a few “drape ups” mainly because she told him he was a big fat coward which he is. That’s my brother but he is just that. I don’t know where him pick up this nasty behavior because our Dad is so loving to mum. Mi n him vex ya now because me tell him he’s on Coke lmfao which I don’t even care.
Number 1. Is the worst kind of man to deal with .. Nothing is good enough for them. NOTHING AT ALL , everything with them is control. They have to be in control of the situation at all times.
This is really a sensitive topic..IMO both parties have witnessed or experienced abuse…it’s so easy to dislike the abuser but truth is that in most cases the abuser was once a victim too….the above scenarios screams control and power vs a lack of self love and self respect….the right professional counselling is what will break the cycle of abuse. I have yet to see an abuser quit “cold turkey” so to speak…..I just will never understand how someone can be conditioned to think that a beating means he/she loves me….oh gosh it seem hopeless but its not. Human beings are resilient and can be reconditioned. One thing that I learned years ago is if you think that someone is being abusive and your not too sure (abuse can be subtle before it gets out of hand) imagine in your mind what he/she did or said not to you but to your child or someone you love unconditionally. If your left with a bad feeling then its more than likely abuse or something close to it.
@ wicked you hit the nail on the head for #4 as I just ended a relationship with a guy like that.
Every woman comes in contact with an abuser at some point in her life, # 1 is the typical one, I fixed my abuser business early,thank God, him did live a my yaad, the first time him beat me cause him send me guh buy a shoes for myself, but claimed seh him nuh like the color. Lol, I guess it was not my shoes, next time him come tek mi pot a food off the fire and dash it weh, well abuse end right desso, cause mi never was a punk, so mi think bout how this boy cum in mi muma house fi cum tun mi ina tufengi, and tun mi baddi ina cancer threat, home girl get mad and mek stone and bottle tun ina rain pan him nastiness, by the next week every man mi meet a street mi invite them a mi yaad, him tek him time move out like the little puppy him his.
In my relationship, I used to be beaten atleast 4 times per week,which would leave scares,bruise,hurt and pain. And I never called the police on him because I felt that if I locked him up I would end up feeling sorry for him and feel bad abt doing it. He would call me an idiot, he never complimented me any how I look or a new hair do, he says I’m miserable, he basically says the worst thing ever to me, to make me feel down.if we are talking and I’m opposing I may get a box in my face.and just for not doing what he says he would, say I don’t listen as if I’m a child.when I found out he was cheating with more than one woman, I became uncomfortable and didn’t want to be with him anymore but still I stayed. Until he started saying he was going out and came in after 7:00 in the morning, and sleeping out, then after two weeks of finding out about one, I called her phone and told her if she doesn’t know he was living with his woman who is pregnant now, yes I’m pregnant. She said no, we spoke for a good 20min because I made it clear I’m not calling to argue. After a week the same girl was calling him. I argue with him and he said yes a mi woman and mi nuh want you, I was crushed with the reality. At that moment I packed him up and told him he had to leave, I got a proper beaten and the next day he came for his things. Thank God. I did everything for this man that a good wife would do, I prayed for him,I cried when he’s sad, I cook, wash,and alot more. I often blame myself that I caused him to beat me , humiliate me and cheat on me, until I realize that this guy was only using his ID and didn’t even had a ego muchless a super ego, and more importantly didn’t even love himself. So I stop blaming myself and said I wasn’t the abuser he was
this saddens me :peluk
im so sorry you had to endure that.
@ Minuhcare thank God you find the strength to move on. I have never been physically or emotionally abused by my dad or hubby but I have seen it firsthand and I felt scarred like I was the victim. I can only imagine what it is to have someone make another person feel worthless
I respect a man who treats his woman like a Queen,i know ur not perfect but u ain’t gotta be so mean! No matter how strong she is for a woman,a man should never attempt to lay his hands on her!!Got no respect for dem dudes that hit their woman,got no respect for the fools that leave their children! I just wanna take care of my family! DONT fcuking Hit ur woman!!! Let’s treat our women right n hold them at the top!!Fellows we gotta make a change in the way that we treat our women n our children,I pray that there is a better day,we want a change,need a change!!Dudes don’t hit ur women unless she’s abt to shoot ur ass or stab u that’s It no other excuses!!
:2thumbup
Thank you @wicked