My wife’s too boring in bed

Dear Pastor,

I am 35 years old and my wife is 40. My wife has children. I do not have any.

I spent nine years living with a woman. After six years of friendship, we broke up because nothing was happening.

I got married to my present wife after she invited me to church, but my marriage is boring.

Everything I try to get her to do in bed, she can’t be bothered. She lies down on the bed like a log when we are having sex.

At times, I feel for sex more than one time for the night and she quarrels about it. Since I met this woman and became a Christian, I never cheated on her.

It is work, to church, then home. She is weighing 20 pounds more than she used to.

I am too ashamed to tell you what I have been doing with her right there on the bed. That is not right, but she doesn’t care.

Pastor, my ex-girlfriend who couldn’t have children was very great in bed. She used to try new things in bed and we enjoyed it.

Some months ago, I asked my wife to do the doggy style (back shot) and she said, “Afta mi ah nuh dawg”.

I wonder what you can tell me to do, because I am so fed up with this woman.


Dear R.C.,

Perhaps your wife believes that Christians should not do anything different, and that sex should just be a routine and it is wrong to engage in different positions.

That is what many people believe. They do not see sex as something to enjoy. They consider sex only for procreation.

I want you to tell your wife that the Bible says that a man must enjoy his wife and she ought to enjoy him.

A man’s wife must satisfy him and he ought to satisfy her, and they should never let boredom take over their relationship.

Here is what the Bible says about how to be happily married.

First Corinthians, Chapter 7 in the amplified version, says: “Now as to the matters of which you wrote: It is good (beneficial, advantageous) for a man not to touch a woman [outside marriage].

Verse 2: But because of [the temptation to participate in] sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

Verse 3: The husband must fulfil his [marital] duty to his wife [with good will and kindness], and likewise the wife to her husband.

Verse 4: The wife does not have [exclusive] authority over her own body, but the husband shares with her; and likewise the husband does not have [exclusive] authority over his body, but the wife shares with him.

Verse 5: Do not deprive each other [of marital rights] except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves [unhindered] to prayer, but come together again so that Satan will not tempt you [to sin] because of your lack of self-control.”

What I am trying to say is that your wife should not deny you sex. She must do her very best to give you your desire and you should be careful not to deny her the privilege to have her when she wants you.

I am afraid that women who do not seek to satisfy their husbands would lose them. Try your best to find a family counsellor and discuss these problems before things get worse.

A normal sex life is very essential, and it is the highest expression of love between a man and his wife. Space does not allow me to say more on this matter.

So, please, see a family counsellor for more guidance.



  1. @ Dear Pastor…..AMEN! HALLELUJAH!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! preach on, preach on. No lay dung an tek wuk. The LORD say “fling it up” and di man shall “flung it back”

  2. Unno just seckually incompatible. Di wife is beyond modest and di husband more experimental. You married her because you saw her specifically for her fertility, and still unno nuh hab no child together. Better you did married to di lady you was with before and try ivf or using a surrogate to bring a child forth. Grass nuh always greener pon di other side. Now, a woman of 40 isn’t going to just turn into a seck machine overnight, she likely set in her ways, and you will have your work cut out for you.

    You can try first encouraging her to try different locations in the house, the kitchen, bathroom, maybe try outdoors. Take a weekend getaway to one resort so unno can be à little freer, ppl will do things when dem out of dem element DAT they won’t do at home. Any who, instead a complain to pastor, get creative. Get some feathers, chocolates and even a lil paddle for spanking. Get creative and stop siddung a wait fi miracle or God fi come dung come show you wah fi do.

  3. This is what they get! After u and ur good good woman deh fi a whole a 6 years yuh lef har because oh nooooo she nuh good enuf U waah virgin girl the Lille quiet church mouse one and then u run go married har because a dat u feel seh u supposed to marry…nope! Heart wants what it wants, accept ppl for who they are not what u think they should b. Cause see it deh now, u not even get wha the duck get cause u can’t even get a doggy style

  4. But him neva did a bang har before marriage??suh him should an kno seh she was boring before hand…no massa a nuh suh it go u think she was gonna tun in a freak as soon as di ring go on :ngakak :ngakak

  5. If I laugh in ya mi mash up. Daddy how u find u self desso? Unnu neva have candid convo b4 marriage? Mind she have ar man but tru pastor a pree ar she tek u up fi ease off the eyes. 40 she just a go inna her sexual prime so a f**kery she a talk. Careful a dem so call prude bible leaf chewing woman deh eno bcuz dem a d real top freak and buddy brukka. Unnu nuh ax mi nutten how mi know. Mi just love the 40+ dem geez.

  6. he mentioned her weight and I think he said something to her about it to cause her to feel insecure and not want to give him pum pum.

  7. Drop di scriptures Bredda Pastor. Sex sex and nuff sex :ngakak :ngakak I feel seh dis small hood bwoy feel tuh seh him can stir up some movements inna di destent church going sista :ngakak Mi nuh knoe ah weh she married yuh fah…but is definitely not fi sex. Ah you need prayers…

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