My mental bucket list changes ever so often, usually once a week I do an assessment to see what I have accomplished and what my plans are going forward. I like consistency and always have some short projects or long-term goals working on. I am happy, well everyone around me seems to think that I am. I have a doting boyfriend that buys me flowers, at first I thought it laughable as I did not grow up in that type of culture, but now it has become an expectation.
I met this man a year ago (August 2015) but we officially started dating in October. He is “different” I’m black he’s white, aside from the obvious physical differences we are literally from two different sides of the fence. He’s halfway up the cooperate ladder while I’m in my third year of college working a less than median city job. Truth be told, dating outside of my race was no accident. This was what I set out to do at the time so I put myself in the position to and pretty much had a tunnel vision from there, he too was specific with his dating preference and boast previous interracial relationships.

no sex
He takes me on dates, we explore the city together and often make short treks elsewhere. I have become quite a “socialite” within our circle. He is generous and caring and possess admirable traits one looks for in a life partner. Truth is….he is….. he’s the man my family adores and speaks ever so often of my “big catch”, he is very supportive and is constantly coming up with ways to put a smile on my face.
He makes me sooo happy it’s frightening…..I would be a real ass to f**k this up, considering my obviously failed relationships. What more can a girl ask for? Absolutely nothing….well maybe one thing, a little intimacy now and then would be nice you know. Truth is, a year later with countless hours and experiences between us…..WE NEVER HAD SEX!

25 thoughts on “ONE YEAR AND NO S*X

  1. You just end the story suh budduffduffbrap. Please to explain why you have not explored that part of the relationship as yet?

  2. Sex is not important.
    Do without and enjoy the flowers and attention your guy is showing. He loves you. Yu too horny.

  3. Sender, when you say you need a little intimacy are we just talking the lack of penetrative sex? Or are we saying after a year no little heavy petting?

    Talk to the man still & see what’s going on with him. Is he a Christian? Is he on that Russel Wilson trip? Is he a man? Talk to him man.

    As an unrepentant sinner myself (I really am going to repent 1 day) I can’t endorse you entering a marriage without a trial given what’s going on nowadays. Best of luck.

  4. Lol @ Willie, me hateee you, I can’t believe you advocating for the water not to run. Mawning Cindy, to answer your question yes there has been petting but nothing no heavy bout it at all. No he’s not a Christian neither are we on the Ciara Russel Wilson path. On the first attempt when it didn’t happen he said it was nervousness, I know that’s common at first so I didn’t have an issue. Several other occasions the opportunity presents itself and it never materialized.

    1. Hi Sender, thanks for replying. Don’t look at Willie lol. Truth be told, it’s actually not that common for a grown man, with experience to stall the first time. It might be quick for a firsty, but a no show is not really that common. So either he’s young or very inexperienced, which will cause a case of nerves & makes him hesitant about initiating in future. As I said, I think you should talk to him, or you could take the bull by the horn & corner him & lead – if you know what I mean.

    2. I’m also considering another aspect. Could he be sick, ie diabetes or suffering from erectile dysfunction? If you want a committed relationship with him you NEED to speak with him because sex & finance matters are 2 avoidable, major disruptors in relationships.

  5. Sender….dat is what woman seh every day. Sex is not important.
    On a serious note, mi have a question. If the man did nervinous the first time yu unwrap di nash, is it that it was intimidating him? Was it that him tings Neva stiff up fi slice di panty pudd’n? Did you at least put in some work on di mike? Did you put him to pray at your alter?? Nuh badda shy an try pretty up di response……we waiting.

  6. Me know Willie all to well believe me I am no stranger on here. But seriously now we had a talk about it once and he chalked it up to nevrves, I have been waiting ever since for it to happen and I keep hoping it does. Now I’m at the point of pure frustration. He went downtown once and I though yes I’m in for some action now but not a damn thing. Another occasion I see him heading back downtown, me kindly tell him say war a gwane a Tivoli and spanish yown road block off so no bother wid it.

  7. Woieeee Mi did a chat to a guy like that long time ago body tun up everything great….ready fi action nutten di man dick soft lakka porridge him claim he he was nervous suh Mi nuh seh nutten….rally back the next day not even a ounce a stiffness, nuh matter wah Mi do di dead would not rise , suh Mi tell him fi go si a doctor and I wouldn’t tell anybody about it….low an behold he was diabetic he got treatment and years after he got someone pregnant….u was younger the but if a did now him wouldn’t get a second chance.

  8. @ Puddie I actually thought about that and did some exploration and investigation, at this time I honestly don’t think he is and believe me I was very thorough in my checks. Needle I think he should make it his responsibility to acknowledge that something is wrong and try to fix it, I don’t bring it up again because I don’t want to hurt his feelings but what about my feelings.

  9. Sender, yu a tek time circle mi. Mek mi ax yu wanse more….did you put in some work on di mike to siif it are working? Mike Check, Mike Check? Have you been bragging to the genkleman about yu good up good up pum pum and yu wining skill? Have you told him of previous “mountains” you have climbed? By di way…are it a ol man yu tek up Sender?

  10. Never go on the mike 1, two no he’s not old which is all the more disappointing, young fresh man early 30’s and no I never bragged about any bedroom skills or the lack thereof. Anything else Willie?

  11. Sender, maybe he’s only interested in back door action. Mi close friend did tell me about a rich, tall, handsome, African American she was seeing for back and forth for almost 2 years. He would go south and stay south for a very long time but couldn’t rise to the occasion. So one day she asked if he was into that back door action because she likes it and she say if yuh eva see how the man rise up and tan would a come een like say him glad bag buss.

    She eventually left him because she wanted a child and she knew it never did a happen from round a back. She say she like the back door thing because it have whole heap a connective wires back there (do the maths).

  12. Awrite Sender….mi done di diagknowsis. Yu nah DJ suh di man nah dance. Simple.
    Good luck doe. Di poor man mussi all a wonder a wah do fi him instrument mek yu nuh like it….cho!

  13. Me big frennn Yardie, me in a piece a dilema yah esi. Willie me a leave you fi another day, me ago break down the events fi you.

  14. Yardi u might right or him experiences limited or him have preconceived notions esp being white him might feel say him tool inadequate or maybe sender intimidate him, not on purpose but maybe he has never met a woman so confident or know wah she want. Yes some man get bookie when dem buck a woman weh can outline wah she want to the T because him start worry if him can live up to the expectations. Hear wah sender u affi go tek charge a d cocky if him a move shy u grab it n tell him suck him madda u want it n gi him u front fi suck. If hood nuh stiff after that u go the doc.

    A side note u need fi find out if him a watch too much blues. Mi dead serious di man dem a backfist hard and when time fi the real thing dem a stall. So go him yard check under the bed n closet fi a blues stash n bruk rag. If u find it u affi go sit wid him or watch wid him. Just saying

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