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A MOTHER DETAILS HOW FATHERS USE CHILDREN AS WEAPONS AND HER OWN EXPERIENCE

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Lynette Saygon I am speaking from personal experience. I was married to the handsome guy that made sure we walked and hold hands for the public, I was envied by many women who thought I had it all. but the torture I had in the home, is nothing that any of you can imagine. I could tell you stories that would seem like fiction to you. I didn’t leave my son behind and struggled with him without any financial help from his dad. The day I finally got the courage to walk out my son was three years old and begged me to leave his dad to go by grandma. Now he is twenty three and cannot remember any of it but blames me for leaving his father and breaking up the family.
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon From the age of thirteen my husband walked behind or besides me on my way home from school talking to be. I was not ready or even interested in having a boyfriend. I was a virgin so his job was to ensure no one else got the opportunity to touch me. He would leave the city to come to where I live to ensure I was not doing anything that he didn’t approve of. Many nights I would be studying and hear someone whistling. That was my signal that he was outside and I had to find a way to talk to him so he can be sure I wasn’t else where. I was living with my parents. We did everything together after that. The very first incident that occurred that should have made me run for my life was when I met my cousin and her boyfriend on the road. She introduce her boyfriend to him, he shook his hand while the exchange names. I did the same and he slapped me so hard that my face was swollen for days. The reason he did that was because I was disrespecting him by shaking hands with another man. I should have left then but he was so sorry and so nice to me for a while after that I thought things would be different. I have another hundred or so of those kinds of stories all of them getting worst than before. I got married at nineteen because I was pregnant and that was expected from me. Judge mental people and society expected that babies shouldn’t be born unless the parents are married. He called a meeting with my family and asked them for my hands in marriage. How sweet.
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon So the wonderful story continues. I lost the babies. He was kind enough to kick me down the stairs because maybe some guy told me good morning on the street or better yet maybe they told me I look good
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon I had the chance to leave then but I couldn’t break up my marriage. So I stick around long enough to get pregnant with my son. I never cheated on my husband, I never even thought about it but I was accused of cheating every day. I got a beating every now and again if he thought I was. We had s*x three or more times a day for hours. I was not allowed to wear anything that showed my figure or my ankles
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon When my family became aware of what was happening and my brother made an attempt to stand up for me. He almost lost his life. My husband tried to run him over on the street with his car. I sided with my husband and told my brother to stay out of it. I stayed with him for several more years. Against his wishes I decided I was going to work. He dropped me off and picked me up everyday but still thought I was cheating. One day he nailed down all the windows in the apartment where we lived and when I went in through the door he nailed that shut as well. He had decided that he didn’t want to live no more and he was going to burn down the apartment with himself, my son and me. He poured kerosene oil over everything. I spent that night outing the fires that he lit. Thank got he didn’t have the common sense to use gasoline. He raped me several times the next day in front of my son. That was the longest weekend of my life. By Monday he was crying to me telling me that he was sorry and he didn’t know what was wrong with him. Then he kissed me and left as though nothing had happened. My son was in tears. He begged me to leave and go by granny. I did.
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon I tried to move on then but I felt guilty for breaking up the family and he was always begging pleading and trying to convince me that things could change. It was during that period of separation that through some newly acquired friends I met a guy. He was a gentleman in every sense of the word. He treated me like a queen. That was a great time in my life. He took me for dinners and lots of exotic places. There was no rage or abuse. He wanted me to get a divorce and marry him. But my heart was somewhere else, and yes I went back to my husband because I had come from a broken home and I didn’t want my son to experience that life.
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon I broke that guy heart when I told him I was going back to my husband. My husband tried best best. He did everything he could to keep us together and he never laid a hands on me. I couldn’t believe it but he had change. As far as I knew he wasn’t cheating on me anymore. I forgot to mention this before but during the entire time before this my husband was cheating on me with several women. I caught him with at least 20 of them. But I’m sure there were more. Anyway I realize too late that I no longer loved him. I couldn’t stand it when he touched me. I would get a panic attack every time he tried. So I had to get out of there. I stuck around for about a year or so and couldn’t bear anymore. I was waiting for my opportunity to get out of there. One night he told me he was going for ice cream and nuts. My favorite. I grabbed a few thing and threw it into a bag and call for a taxi. The service was just down the street. I waited and no one came. I call them back and they told me they will not be sending a taxi for me. My husband is a crazy man and I better get someone else to come get me. I call a friend and by the time they got there he was back. My husband took a long knife that he had and tried to stab me. I held on to the blade of that knife for dear life. I still have the marks in my hand to this day and on my chest where he cut me. That was it. I never returned after that
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon What followed was police getting involved, court proceeding, he making several more attempts to take my life and restraining order etc. sometime during this process the little church mouse vanished. I became a social butterfly. I could not sleep. I never wanted to be alone because deep down I was always afraid. I started to party excessively and spend less and less time at home. I felt better within a crowd. I was in survival mode. The only time I slept was when someone I felt could protect me was in that bed with me.
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon Eventually I left Guyana and came to antigua on vacation. My plan was never to stay. I couldn’t imagine being away from my extended family for too long but it was the first time in a long time that I was able to be me and not live with fear. I could finally sleep I felt at peace. I never want or need anyone in my bed to sleep.
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon I brought my son here with me a year later. My son knows his dad never supported him financially or emotionally while he has been with me. But it doesn’t matter all that I have done. Deep down he resents the fact that I left his dad and acts out about it even to this day. He had the opportunity to go live with his dad for a year or so . I bought the ticket. Everything was fine for a while and then the dad drop him off to his granny. I had to bring him back. Ask my son about his dad today, he is still the best dad. And that’s because he was brainwashed that his mother wanted to life a wild life and that’s way I left.
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Lynette Saygon
Lynette Saygon So unless you walk a mile in someone else’s shoe it’s best if you keep your judgement to yourself.