WITCHES SEH DEM A PUT SPELL PAN TRUMP TODEH

Get your covens ready.

Protest may be the new brunch, but witches are joining together worldwide in a more magical form of resistance to cast a spell on President Donald Trump, reports say.

A document circling the internet in both private and public witchcraft groups contains a spell to bind Trump to all who abet him, and even muggles (non-magic folks for those unfamiliar with Harry Potter) are encouraged to participate.

The binding ritual is to be performed monthly by those who practice the craft until Trump is removed from office.

The mass spell is to be performed on every waning crescent moon at the stroke of midnight EST in order for it to work.

The first spell cast event is set to occur on Friday, Feb. 24. Similar events are anticipated to follow on March 26, April 24, May 23, etc.

Until Trump is out office, that is.

As some may have already expected, reports say that some Evangelical Trump supporters hip to the witches’ plans are prepping to pray en masse Friday night to zero out the spell’s effects.

For those who ask if it will work, there is only one way to find out. Luckily, we’ve got the supplies and instructions for you below.

Unflattering photo of Trump
Tower tarot card.
Tiny stub of an orange candle
Pin or small nail
White candle, representing the element of Fire
Small bowl of water, representing elemental Water
Small bowl of salt, representing elemental Earth
Feather, representing the element of Air
Matches or lighter
Ashtray or dish of sand
Once you have all of the materials need, you’re instructed to inscribe “Donald J. Trump” onto the candle using the pin or nail.

After, arrange the remaining items in a circle, leaning the tarot card onto something so that it stands vertically.

Then you can start reciting the banishing ritual, which includes lines like:

(Light white candle)

Hear me, oh spirits
Of Water, Earth, Fire, and Air
Heavenly hosts
Demons of the infernal realms
And spirits of the ancestors

(Light inscribed orange candle stub)

I call upon you
To bind
Donald J. Trump
So that he may fail utterly
That he may do no harm
To any human soul
Nor any tree
Animal
Rock
Stream
or Sea

Bind him so that he shall not break our polity
Usurp our liberty
Or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair
And bind, too,
All those who enable his wickedness
And those whose mouths speak his poisonous lies

I beseech thee, spirits, bind all of them
As with chains of iron
Bind their malicious tongues
Strike down their towers of vanity

(Invert Tower tarot card)

I beseech thee in my name
(Say your full name)
In the name of all who walk
Crawl, swim, or fly
Of all the trees, the forests,
Streams, deserts,
Rivers and seas
In the name of Justice
And Liberty
And Love
And Equality
And Peace

Bind them in chains
Bind their tongues
Bind their works
Bind their wickedness

6 thoughts on “WITCHES SEH DEM A PUT SPELL PAN TRUMP TODEH

    1. This is the big break our local madda women dem can get a buss pon!!Someone needs to rally them n we best obeah workers so dem can join in for a good cause that is way way above tieing man fi maties!!

      I’m serious as a Judge!

      1. Me de right beside you on that. Some wicked obeah need to fling pon him backside.

        Not even Hollywood would want rewrite de outcome.

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