DO UNTO…PART II

Do Unto …
Part 2
I told Charles and his relatives that I was not able to take of him they cried and begged me but I had to hold my ground. I was no longer going to put myself in positions that I could not get out of. My anger made me not see clearly. He put me through all this hell and now he wanted to destroy my haven. I could not accept it even if he was going to die. I would just have to stand by my decision. I hated him! He could die for all I care I was not interested in his life his organs or his cancer.
After deciding not to have Charles stay with me I started becoming more isolated from the world around and felt wronged by everyone. I thought everyone had no reason to treat me the way I did so I stopped making and receiving phone calls from family members and friends. My mother’s always remind how my cousins married well from doctors to lawyers to whatever. This really ticked me off so I stopped speaking to her.
My son was doing well at school but my income was cut by about a thousand dollars a month because I was not receiving child support and not bartending. I had to do something I did not want to do buy I took him out of private school and put him into the public school system. My plan was to move to a more upscale address not that there was nothing wrong with where I was but I figured if I paid little more in rent and prayed about it he would be in a better position. I met the realtor for the house who was very much in leasing the property to me as she could not believe that a single black woman had maintained such good credit. Looking back I worried for nothing as this was just the work of God. The realtor owned the house and happened to know my previous landlord. We settled in to our new house and my plan was just to stick to the job and make it happen. That was not that easy but I tried to maintain. Sometimes I would cry and my son would ask me what happened and I told him that I had bad allergies. I could not stop the tears from flowing sometimes thank God I did not cry in front of my son that often. When we went to the store I always try to make decisions with my son as he was not only a son but someone who I would look to in the future. Whenever we would cross the street I would grip his little hand and he would tell me, “Mama, when you get old don’t worry I will help you to cross the street. Because you always help me to cross the street.”

Many times I would bring him to class with me because I had no other choice. He would sit beside me and wait and once he missed his birthday dinner due to my exam. He was very disappointed and I did not have the time to even think how I could ever make him understand the sacrifice. Charles was very upset about my decision but at the time that was the best I could do. His family also so no help was given to me where my child was concern but I was not looking for it either. No disappointment there. I knew that this was not where I would be for the rest of my life. I knew that I had to be somebody and I owed it to my child who crossed so many streets with me and was by my side as a silent advocate hardly complaining and looking forward to the next day.
Many times we would sit and listen to all sorts of music together because money was now tight so we had to find pleasure in simple things. I could no longer afford to bring him to the movies every other weekend or even once a month. Reality slowly crept up on me and I knew what I had to do. I would have had to be in charge of myself which would make me in charge of others around me and then my finances. I had to get closer to my goals and the only way to do this was not only work hard physically but spiritually.
By Real