**I laughed myself silly when I read this lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooo …mi mean a big stupid laugh dat mi haffi check if a really me …Yet, it is a warning to all the men out there whey think dem can play Joe Grind and beat di system**
Hail Met,
Bless up all Metters n Peeppers, next month Oct 12 will be the 3rd anniversary of Captain Barkey’s death and it got me thinking.
Jamaica is the only country in the world that glorifies n big up “Joe Grind” cuz in many other cultures it is frowned upon. I put it to yall that every 30seconds somewhere in the Usa or Europe a Joe is getting shot,stabbed or killed! We hardly ever hear anything happening in Jamaica cuz is like di men dem accept the running that at times u gonna be the victim of Joe but other times u gonna be Joe himself. I am saying this as a final warning cuz its a ticking time bomb n when u play Joe u might not be the lucky one just like Barkey rip.
I know what I’m talking abt cuz it happened to me. One day a catty link me from St. Thomas n say me must come to her house.She did up times 7 so me jump Inna taxi FROM kingston n set out pon mi 2hrs journey to another parish! The way me did frighten friday me even charter a taxi fi miself than take a robot taxi. So abt a hour+ into the journey pon di country road the girl a ping off mi blackberry a send me nudes n sweet nothings.My constant snickering n the BlackBerry pinging start annoy di taximan n him sey something!!
I told him it’s all good bro is just a sexy girl a request me a her yard so him say u leave town fi go a country fi girl,a coulda wha so? Just like Ripley’s me a tell unno fi believe or not with what happen next!!
I said boss if u did have a girl dis sexy u woulda go a di moon fi her talk di truth…I showed him my cell.
The next thing I know di man grab mi cell n fling it thru the windows Inna di bushes.So me shot him a box!! The next ting I know di man draw a blow wow brakes n reach under him seat fi di biggest cutlass in history…I jumped thru the car window screaming a “wha a wha??
The taximan said imagine I pick up dis girl from she a 14 n send her thru high school n evening class,from morning till midnight me deh pon di road,me do farming,mi hustle,mi do it all fi mek she alright n she a go carry man come a mi yard!!??
Me transform instantly into a Obama n use all of mi Michael Manley charisma n give the speech of my life cuz it was to save mi life cuz di man getting closer wid di machete n not even Usain bolt coulda outrun di length n width of that machete! Me say boss remember I don’t know ur girl enuh is town I come from plus me nuh do nothing yet so u nuh get nuh bun!?The girl tell me she live alone n she a 26(she was 19!) so mi nuh know bout u cuz if me did know me wouldn’t diss u like that mi boss!? Sorry fi box u too is cuz u startled me when u grab di phone n is just mi reflex zeen!
I noticed him start calm a little so me continue talking n ppl me chat better than Martin Luther I have a dream speech so till di taxi man come around to the point him even help me find mi cell although the screen did crack.He said sorry n I hastily tell him that it’s no problem we good n it’s a simple fix. Him charge me 1/2 price n carried me bk to town!
I think I was put to the test n mi pass cuz from then I swear no Joe grind to mi thing,Even if kim khardishian a dash it out me nuh want it.Even if mi dream girl Star Apple say Icon nah gwaan wid nothing n she a draw fi me, I man not giving her the time of day!!
The licky licky mothers,sisters n other family members n well wishers stop encouraging the men dem fi play Joe role cuz is unno same 1 gonna be in mourning when dem get what the duck get! The most popular crime throughout history n fi di forseeable future is a crime of passion! Leave ppl n dem ppl alone! This tek a gal man n sex a man’gal that is a cornerstone of jamaican livity need fi stop it’s gonna be some a we death knell!
This only long cuz this is a final warning so me try cover all angles but even Stevie Wonder can see the truth that we in dire straits if we nuh stop!My brothers don’t be the next Capt Barkey!
Many thanks n walk /drive good
I had to laugh but its a serious truth.
The next thing I know di man grab mi cell n fling it thru the windows Inna di bushes.So me shot him a box!! The next ting I know di man draw a blow wow brakes n reach under him seat fi di biggest cutlass in history…I jumped thru the car window screaming a “wha a wha??
STITCHES!!!! :ngakak
I haven’t laughed this hard in such a long time. Sender you made my day.
Morning
Good Morning Met,Metters,Peepers nd Others…
Send if mi luv yuh story wan more time essay..it had me smiling a bit den it brought mi rite back tuh reality isn’t God good suppose de man did extra dark nd nuh waan hear shit from yuh dat wuda be de last a yuh…yuh eva hear anything from dat girl asking how yuh neva show up or nth like dat?!?!?
I could picture this like is a movie mi did a watch ..I cracked right up
fi real…is like mi feel and see the box him give de man plus how de man haul out de machete ready fi eat a food lol
It might seem funny, but when you are in that situation, it is far from funny. Them country man is very ignorant when you mess with their woman. I remember one of them confront me about if I was sleeping with his woman, after she and I was at a dance. I told him, no boss, I just met her. The truth is I screwed his woman multiple times before. I slowly left the dance never to seen again…left them arguing at the dance where it is clear he was just about to beat the shit out of her.
A brethren of mine killed a youth in that same parish when the guy try to attack the my brethren for sleeping with his ex-girlfriend/babymother. As he stepped to my friend with a machete, he sidestep him and stab the yute in his heart, killing him on the spot. He got away with murder, since he claimed self defense.
What a coincidence!!! No sah Sender,look how far yuh a guh fi pums. Good public service announcement. But Apple? really? lool
He should be an Author of fiction novels it work for him :ngakak
Captain Barkey and the girl gave away their life. The guy threatens him before, yet he had an arrangement where the girl picked him up at the airport and then onto the Motel. The Haitian guy either had a tracking device on the her phone or car, so it was very easy to pinpoint exactly where she was at any point in time. They both knew the husband was nuts and took the chance.
It nuh funny but it funny…lol lol…man seh him chat betta dan Dr. Martin Luther. :ngakak
A ediat man war/kill nedda man over woman cuz wen yuh gawn a prison a nex man a f**k har sameway
My favorite show is Snapped!!! It happen MORE than we know & think! Look at di man weh kill di woman & her new man ah di Resorts Casino parking lot!!!
People luv swear seh dem can control dem emotions & can manage a Joe Grind or a friends with benefits situation & even if YOU can control YOUR emotions, who’s to say the next man or woman can? Even if you feel you woulda never kill ah person if you find yourself in dat situation, who’s to say the person being cheated on can control THEIR emotions???
That’s why God put in “Thou shall not commit adultery” cuz GOD KNOW seh when emotions run wild & blood start to boil ANYTHING can happen!
*Cobra voice* “Nutten nuh wrong wid yooooou! Hey hey, gal bruk out and gwaan ruuuuude! If ah gal dunn and har man ah run yuh dung and yuh waan dat, TTTTTEK DATTTTT!!!!! *STICKS OUT TONGUE* “If yuh know yuh know yuh naw guh run di pu$$y, NUH WASTE TIIIIIME!!!!!
@Sender, yuh nuh easy????? Bout yuh charter taxi!?!?!?! NEVER YOU, EVER YOU STRAY!!!!!!!!!! SENDER, MI LOIKE YUH DOE! AH #REALTALK! I cried for weeks and months when Barkey died! Didn’t eat for WEEEEEKS!!!!! He was such a sweet person, YOU COULD NEVERRRRR BE UNHAPPY AROUND HIM!
RIP CAPTAIN BARKEY! RETURN IF POSSIBLE SO I CAN ESCORT YOU PAST “BAD RASS” (A TINY LITTLE SHIH TSU ESQUE, VERY DANGEROUSLY, DEADLY MEDLEY DOG MY DAD HAD, WHOM YOU HAD TO BRIBE WITH 3 PIECE KFC MEAL DEALS FROM KFC NEW KINGSTON AND OR MEDIUM, PEPPERONI PIZZA PIES FROM NO OTHER PLACE BUT PIZZA HUT NEW KINGSTON, SO THAT SHE WOULDN’T SNEAK UP ON YOU AND TEARRRRR YOUR ASSISTANCE UP).
Yea Anon but he will be a LIVING idiot at taxpayers’ expense n the smart Joe grind will be DEAD!!Smart ppl get jealous n war/kill too enuh!
@Anonymous 11:27 :thanks2 #REALTALK! UTTER AND COMPLETE EEDIAT DEM! The sender has SEVERAL points though. I/we lost Barkey (no I wasn’t involved with him. My dad’s sister sewed for him.), and I lost my friend, Bad/Get Bad/Gwaan Bad in a similar fashion. It’s been YEARS, but mi still CYAAN BELIEVE seh Bad REALLY STRAY guh ah DUTTY, STINKING TIVOLI guh deh wid/look fi gal, when HIM MORE DAN ANYONE ELSE KNOW THE RELATIONSHIP WEH GARDEN MAN AND HANNA TOWN MAN DEM HAVE! SMH! RIP Bad, I truly miss you and MANY others.
Bwoi Sender….mi feel yu pain an di chop yu nailey get…lol. Di hol a wi have Joe Grine Story fi tell. One night mi leff mi good bed an gone way ova Portmore a squeeze a man wife a likkle piece. Long story short, when di man buss di grill an mi inna mid stride, by di time him hear di rustling an buss choo di back door wid him gun inna him han a me end up a help him look fi di man weh gyallop gone dung di road….cho
______________DWL
Dwl Lmao..no sah, mi love this a sender. Yuh need fi write novels. Mi glad yuh words save yuh life n yuh stop stray….All now mi a dwl to fart. Come sender send in more a yuh experiences them lol.
Moral of the story……we live in a very small world. What was the chance that the woman belongs to the taxi driver? I met this girl and end up dating her, only to find out that it was my good friend babymother and the girl stupid enough to tell the man about us to make him jealous. All hell broke loose when my friend realizes I was screw is ex. To tell you the truth, nothing in the world could stop me from being with this girl….best sex ever!
The anniversary of Captain Barkey’s death is Tuesday October 13th. Being Mr Joe Grind has a price and I am sure Barkey is learning that where he is in the grave. The rest of the Men take heed and learn from this. Give up the Joe Grinding.