I DODGED A BULLET(AIDS OO AIDS)

O happy day Met when Jesus walks,oh when he talks!

So me have a link wid a Nurse cuz she is my ex.She hit me up nite b4 last n tell me that this chick name Finey dead.Due to her position she was in the know n she was concerned for me so she relayed the info.The thing is an incident took place back in the day in deep rural St.Thomas that nearly cost me dearly.

I went there to spend time with my beloved Granny and one day I was in this outside zinc n bamboo shed n it was raining so the road lonely.‎ I peered out n saw Finey smiling at me,i waved awkwardly back.I guess she thought it was an invitation cuz I turned my head away to spit n by time me turn it back, Finey was in the shed grinning. Being that close up,i counted 2 rottenish teeth to the side n 2 more gang greenish teeth at the front,Remember this key thing plz!Finey was very direct as she said “me like u so come f**k me now nuh”

I TOLD HER NO n she immediately became upset n threatened she would scream Rape if I didn’t sex her,me tun fool n start bawl n beg her plz nuh do that.Finey was having none of it n grab me by the balls, a very firm uncomfortable grip cuz in her haste she was squeezing 1 ball tighter than the other.When ur being squuezed by the balls ur quick thinking skills are bound to chip in n they did so me start negotiate with Finey. I promised her if she released me that I would KISS her!

She shut her eyes n opened her mouth a bit too wide for my liking n as I moved in for the kiss,the sight of her rotten teeth was too much n I choked up mucus n vomit n it caught her chin n barefoot!Finey got mad n hollered Rape,rape, rape so loud that the entire village was awoken.

Men of all ages,women,pickney all of dem armed with cutlasses came streaming towards the shed,Met my eyes tripled wide open when I saw even my own 82yo Granny wid her cutlass too!There was finey tearing off her clothes to one side n me on the otherside wid my two hands on mi jaws speechless!So I stood there waiting for the 1st chop to land my eyes now closed n the most amazing thing happened!‎ I heard ppl kissing their teeth,i recall a male voice commanding “unno come a mad gyal finey”! They left n returned whence they came n I lived to tell this story.Let the church say Amen!!

That’s the backstory Met,the real story is that Finey was a black Indian n was very promiscous.she had kids at age 13 and 14yo.Her sister had her 1st child at age 11 by time she was 16 she had 3kids by 3 diff men.Is it any wonder then that Finey died from Aids?The big joke is that when it buss that Finey dead,the villagers gathered in the square at Crossings.‎Out of the blue dis man say him a go rush go a Princess Margaret hospital go check himself out cuz him did sample Finey’s finest goods.

The man go Inna him car n b4 him coulda drive out is 5 more men dat a pop off him doorhandle fi come too n a jostle fi space yo!!! Men all end up siddung Inna man lap just to get tested di night!Met me a tell u di health authorities need fi pitch a tent or mobile clinic immediately cuz although Finey did so easy she never easy enuh if u know what I mean.

So the whatsapp messages is just my ex girl di nurse a make sure me never did touch Finey n Nicki was her cousin n yes she know me touch nicki.Mi nuh lef mi condom enuh Met! I’m feeling a sense of relief though so Sunday church nah miss me n me going Sabbath too n even a Bobo Rasta hill a bullbay by mi gran uncle dis friday.I must can get a Lil Billy goat fi $J6000 n curry it but me have to do something weekend fi express mi gratitude to the Most High for dodging yet another Cutlass from St.Thomas n now AIDs!!

Signed yours truly
#me nuh have no luck at st Thomas so not even mineral bath me a go fi wash off di saltness!
#Aidsfree currently,ppl unno go get tested!