“My wife is stubborn and loves to have her way. I can no longer stick to a woman who seeks every opportunity to lord herself over me. My lord, I pray that you separate us.”
This was the statement Taiwo Daramola made before Ile Tutun Customary Court, Mapo, Ibadan, Oyo State.
Taiwo had dragged his wife, Oluwabunmi Daramola to court, seeking the dissolution of their six-year-old marriage.
He alleged that the defendant was stubborn, didn’t take to correction and always fought him.
He, as such, prayed for the divorce of his wife and pleaded to be granted custody of their two children.
“My wife took ill and I took her to Adeoyo Hospital for medical attention. She was given some drugs which she refused to take. She also didn’t eat and looked lean.
“I informed her family members of what was happening and I was asked to take her to her family house. There, the head of her family took care of her.
“I paid her regular visits and left enough money for her upkeep while our children were in my care at home.
“After she appeared fit, her family members asked me if I wanted her back with me, or would prefer to rent an apartment for her somewhere else.
“I told them that since we were not separated she should move back to my house and she did, “Taiwo stated.
“About two months after she returned home, she lost a family member and told me she wanted to attend the burial rites in Lagos. I said ‘no’. She flared up and told me to my face her that I no longer had any authority or control over from the day I took her back to her family house when she was ill.
“She returned from Lagos few days after and had been misbehaving since then.
“She refused to take the children to school and would sometimes shout and beat them for no just reason. She once beat our first child and didn’t leave him till blood started running from his nose.
“There were times I have had to sleep in church because of her troublesome nature.
“I reported her to her family members and I was told to be patient with her.
“When I saw that she didn’t change, I went to notify our elders in the church of what was going on; they mediated in the matter, but she soon went back to her old ways.
“There was a day her brother got so angry that he wanted to beat her, but I restrained him from doing so.
“I have lost my peace and rest and now fear returning home after the day’s job.
“I have had enough of her troubles and come to the conclusion that we should part ways, “the plaintiff said.
I’m also ready for divorce, but I pray that the custody of our children be granted me, Oluwabunmi prayed while responding to what her husband had said.
“My husband is inhuman and has betrayed me, “she stated.
“I got pregnant nine months after we had our first child and since then I have known no peace.
“He wanted me to terminate the pregnancy and I refused, he, therefore, neglected me and didn’t bother about my welfare.
“I was trading in Agbeni Market, but he intentionally rented an apartment at Apete which was miles away from the market. I spent N350 as transport fare everyday which took its toll on my business.
“I had to stay with one of our pastors’ family during the week and return home at weekends to reduce the cost of transportation, ”the defendant added.
“He didn’t give me a dime to purchase the needed items for the new baby and was nonchalant about my wellbeing. He wasn’t just interested in anything that had to do with the pregnancy.
“I was daily eating up my capital and was spending the income from the goods handed over to me by some other persons to sell, all because my husband had abandoned his responsibility as breadwinner.
“If I asked him for money, he would refuse to give me and when I buy things home, he would likewise refuse to make a refund.
“My health began to deteriorate because I was doing a lot of thinking due to the unpalatable experience I was facing at home. This resulted in high blood pressure . I ended up having post-partum depression which is often referred to as mental illness, “she further said.
“My husband took me to Adeoyo Hospital for medical treatment. I was given some drugs after medical examination was carried out on me. Because I was incapacitated, he left me at the mercy of our neighbours who had no time for me. I became lean and weak due to loss of appetite.
“We attended a vigil in church and when we were through, he brought a bus which took me and our baby to my family house. He dumped us there and gave us only a loaf of bread.
“I had to wean our baby at the age of three months because I wasn’t fit enough to feed him. He later came to take the child from me.
“In order to survive, I picked empty plastic bottles along the streets. I sold these to eat.”
Olubunmi went on: “My brother eventually took me to his house, but his wife further maltreated me. She would ask me to recite Bible passages and hit me with stick if I missed any line. I kept this to myself because I didn’t want to destroy my brother’s home.
“Two months after I got to my brother’s place, my husband invited me to one of our church programmes and I attended. It was a week long programme, but before we were through with it, some of our church members came, bundled me into a waiting vehicle and drove me back to my brother’s house without giving any explanation.
“On getting home, my brother beat the hell out of me. He rebuked me for attending the programme and sent me out of his house around 11:00 pm.
“Since I had nowhere to go, I wondered all over the area throughout the night. I walked into touts who dragged me to a corner, put off my dress and put the Indian hemp they were smoking into my two ears. I could have been raped, but for one of them who pleaded that I should be left to go.
“I summoned the little strength in me and took to my heels. I trekked for days before I got back to my husband’s house.
“When I got there, he kept the children away from me. Anytime we argued or I chastised our children, he would hit me with a ladle.
“This is how we have been living till he brought me to court for divorce, “she concluded.
After listening to the duo, the court president, Chief Agbaje Olasunkanmi, stated that more evidence would be needed before judgment is given.
He thus adjourned the case till June 2 and ordered that both parties come to court with their children, family members and church leaders.
Dis sad doe…. di African culture can be so harsh at times. Wouldn’t date a African doe no lie cause a eeda mi or dem.