Shamar didn’t have to die
Deborah Middleton, 46, saw the early signs of rebellion from her daughter Shamar Hoffenden by the time she reached Grade Six.
And, despite the intervention of the police, church and the Child Protection and Family Service Agency, she watched helplessly as her dream of Shamar, the seventh of her 11 children, becoming the high achiever in the family slipped away.
Now Shamar, a 13-year-old, Grade Eight student at Green Pond High School is dead, allegedly shot by the gun of her 17-year-old boyfriend in Pitfour, Granville on Saturday night.
The police say the two were reportedly playing with the weapon when she was shot in the head.
But residents claim that shots were being fired hours before an alarm was raised, with many blaming Middleton for the child’s demise.
“You can’t curse me, she was not hearing. I talk, her father talk, mi even make police talk to her,” Middleton told WESTERN STAR. “She would jeer me, back answer me, all these things and mi carry her to the CDA, mi go a [police] station, mi report her to see if she would change. Mi nurse her more than how I nurse the other children. Every minute me have to be calling her to come home, but she refused.”
She said she never supported Shamar’s relationship and tried to get her to end it.
“I told her that this guy is not her type and that it was too early for her to be having a boyfriend,” she said. “I (also) told her that even if she was to have a boyfriend, she has to have somebody who can help her.”
However, Middleton, a higgler who said she has spent 25 gruelling, sometimes thankless years at the Charles Gordon Market, still believes Shamar would be alive today if only the State had been more decisive when she called for help.
“If they did take her, probably I would feel better although people say having her in a childcare facility don’t make any difference, as some go in and come out worst and some come out better,” said Middleton, who will now have to bury her child.
When contacted, Children’s Advocate Diahann Gordon Harrison, agreed that the situation required a more decisive response.
“The situation is unfortunate, it is sad and my hope despite all the pain that may be happening in the family circle is that the circumstances can be properly ventilated and there can be some accountability,” she said in a telephone interview. “We can really use it as a nation to teach us some very valuable lessons that it really is a danger to delay in many instances.”
She said the incident is a timely reminder that Jamaicans need to be proactive in protecting their children.
this part lick mi fi six… “I told her that this guy is not her type and that it was too early for her to be having a boyfriend,” she said. “I (also) told her that even if she was to have a boyfriend, she has to have somebody who can help her.” Because she basically saying if she was dating a man wid money she would be ok wid it as a mother… Which 13 year old ah mother cudda really tell this!!!
11 children she probably overwhelmed, but that’s not an excuse.She shouldn’t ah tek man period. So deh mother a seh if deh man can support its ok.. a child is a child.. teking man poor or rich is wrong.
One more article weh hurt mi iya. 11 BLOOODCLAAT pickney – these RAT breeding fkers need to be contained. Like c’mon man. I have 1 (yes ONE) and find it a TEDIOUS task to focus on work and give her all the time she needs.
Middleton and har multiple baby father are SCUMS. St888. I really hate these RAT-BREEDING fkers who are so stupid. Kids need guidance and protection.
There is no way this RAT could take care of 11 kids. Like why not cut-off at a certain point. The mother is a piece of SH***T.
really sad SIP. these kids too grown and i think money is the problem with some of our Jamaicans parents make the kids go out and sleep around at a early age.
some of these girls are just too fast. not all the time you can blame the parents. I know women who do everything to raise their children the right way. some girls are into having sex nowadays. them want a big man. and the man want young gyal. once them get the cocky them turn fool fool and do anything for the man. its very sad that the mother said that she needs a man to help her because this lady knew that there was no way in changing her daughter mind in taking the 17 year old bwoy.
I thank God all the time for giving me good children. I never had these type of problems with my daughter. but this is something that not even a good whipping with the belt can help nor long talking. once the pum pum start to jump. their ears get hard.
I have a niece that use to live with me. she use hide and sleep with big mon. one day I discovered that she was sneaking around with my husband friend. I told my husband. he confronted the man and told him that she was under age. then my husband cut his friendship with the man.
karma don’t play. the man get dip back to Jamaica. my niece end up changing her tune a little bit. but now she’s an adult and has two children of her own and see its hard being a single parent.
its a shame that this girl lost her life. but they are too caught up in this fast life
Mother, in this day and age it is not appropriate to have more children than you can emotionally and spiritually care for. The child was neglected because there is no way you as a market woman with 12 mouths to feed could give this child a proper upbringing. Your home was probably full of chaos and that is why she could speak to you anyhow. You are only 46,so you were born in the early 70s just like me. She grew up seeing you with different men and bringing in belly after belly so you thought after you set such an example she was going to be a Saint. She is not at fault for her death, but do not absolve yourself because you did not provide the nurturing environment of a loving home. She is far better of in the spirit world, because she was expected to come and work slave to bring unno all up because she showed academic promise. God knows why she back in his/her bosom
A lot of young daughters are forced into silent prostitution in order to help their single mothers hold their household down.
A topic to visit, Met.
blame this all on single mother epidemic
Ah only when shi reach child numero seven (7), shi see “high achievement” in di family “slipping away”????? Although, any child can be anything they aspire to be and at times, it’s the ones you least expect, who can and will break that cycle!…..But LADY……! God be with you all, sincerely.