YAM HEAD MEETING

Hmid please
This is a little long
I was in a yamhead relationship, if I haven’t typed this and read it over, I wouldn’t know.
Last year I came from the states and I was in Jamaica for a while, a guy friend of mine send my number to his friend and from there we started dating. I met his family so I thought it was serious and I was the only one he was talking too and sometimes he would always talk about going to America with me and talk about getting married and even asked me to buy him jewelry/clarks to go party and I would always buy him 500$ credit.

Fast forward to a good 3 months, I was pregnant and when I was gonna tell him, I found out he is in a 1yr relationship before he met me and he begged and plead for me to stay, and saying he don’t really love her and that they broke up etc ( which was a lie ). I still didn’t tell him I was pregnant because I was planning on leaving but I didn’t, I stayed and planned on telling him but the same night, I lost the baby at 3weeks. Going down I started getting pics of him and her together, like when they video call etc and then the relationship started getting bittersweet. She added me on Instagram and she view my status with me and him on it and from there me and her blocked each other on Instagram.
November I got pregnant again and I told him and he was happy. But then I had to go back to the US bcz I was high risk and Jamaica ain’t too good on taking care of people and he was okay with that. Weeks past and he started acting weird, he barely call or text to check up on me and when I complain he says he’s busy ( which he is not working) and that I’m nagging and stressing him out, which I was the one stressed out. Down in 2months I got pics and videos of him and her together and then I realized he was busy with her. I got stressed and angry and lost the baby and he left me. He didn’t even comfort me or anything, he just tell me he don’t want me anymore.

2months after he called and begged me to take him back and that he’s sorry and that those are old pictures of them together and that my friends don’t like him so they want me and him to broke up and I believed. I even called my friends and diss them up and stopped talking to them. 3 days after, I got a threat on a fake page about him ( from the girl ) and I showed him and he just say he ain’t have time for this and deadass blocked me. I was hurt but I still managed to text him to unblock me and he did but I was still getting diss up and threats and I couldn’t take it anymore so I started doing the same to her and when I clapped back, he gonna text me and say I must stop and why am I belittling the girl etc and he never once defend me.

I begged him to take me back and even wrote a paragraph how I feel and he say he don’t want me and I don’t take rejection good even after you led me on with soo much feelings and I started dissing up the girl and he diss me and say he never want me and that him have him woman and say alot more. So I got mad and diss him up in every way that I can and he block me on Instagram and my business page and changed his number and so did the friend who introduced me. And it been weeks since I kept on reaching out to him to be friends and he keep on blocking every page and upto today, just now he finally tell me he regret meeting me and that he doesn’t want anything to do with me and I must move on.

I don’t know what to feel after all this, I feel weak, like something holding me down, I look skinny maybe bcz of the miscarriages and stressed. I don’t know why I was soo damn fool for someone who didn’t give a fuck about me in the beginning. I still can’t move on, I keep replaying everything in my dreams and mind.