Greetings and Salutations Met,Metters and Peepers.
Met I feel like having some church up in here,i’m here to give my testimony so can the Pinkwall choir say Amen!I am here to tell you about something that every single last one of unno can relate to.Somebody ever violate yuh,like diss the program big time? Your natural reaction is to retaliate to seek your own revenge but i’m here to tell you moretime you must just tan so back and remember “Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord”. I’m gonna deliberately save the Best for last,so bear with the long build up,it will be worth it i promise!
Last night I was chilling by the Bar and this van came outside a chump some really nice vibes lovers rock music.I took my Drink and sat outside on a sidewalk makeshift bench and started nodding my head and tapping my feet to the beat.After about 20mins here comes this crasses woman since a Christmas and to protect her ID,let’s call her SATAN’s Little Helper(SLH). SLH sat beside me, drinking and smiling then about 3mins of that she asked me to get up Because she wanted her Husband to come sit here so them can reason. I looked up and saw Mr. FR(former Rasta) dancing across the bar and no matter how SLH beckon him,he was ignoring her.
At this point I was so confused because I know Mr.FR was married to the Mrs some 20yrs now,plus I couldn’t understand why I had to get up off the public sidewalk.For a peaceful life however I said ok call him then I will go but a who tell me to be so meek and mild.SLH erupted worse than Montserrat Volcano that forced 3/4 of the people to abandon the island,screaming out “that mean sey if him no come first,you nah get up,a dat yuh a try tell me?”
Met right then and there,i decided to Dig my heels in and NOT to get up.Met can I tell you God is ALWAYS on Time,because HE intervened just as World War 3 was about to go down. His intervention came in the form of this frantic lady running towards SLH,telling her that her house was on FIRE!
We ran to her tenemant yard and Met as promised here’s the Real kicker that created histrie in the community.Apparently people saw Joe Fowl* with several boxes of coloured candle, which was weird because light never gone.Joe Fowl went into SLH house and set up him candle and a puddung one piece a speaking in tounges chanting.The story is he closed his eyes and mussi Did a wave him obeah stick and lick over few candles ketching the curtains pon fire and it quickly spread.Met I was on site,no one was injured, the fire was contained but residents were very irate.The story began to unfold as follows.
Dutty nasty bleach out SLH hire rookie Obeah Man to tie the ppl dem Husband.Isn’t it messed up when you a natural browning and a bleach to get white?Her money never so strong, so she get inexperience obeah man Joe fowl that nearly make over 40 persons homeless.The same “husband” she a come cuss me over as it turns out,is not hers and the ppl them say if Mrs.FR a woman who will buss up her rhass. The ppl them saying SLH to come out them yard because they Don’t feel safe plus obeah is illegal and them a law abiding citizens.Met I only sorry fi her becuase she has a Toddler and nowhere else to go she bawled out.
Joe Fowl* just tek ur boxes,kick ups and thumps becuase it coulda worse.I recommend you leave out the Obeah Biz or at least go learn and master your “craft”.Now you Mr.Former Ras,the fact that yuh never faithful to Jah don’t surprize me that yuh never faithful to Your lawful legal wife.Gwaan go kneel at her feet and beg forgiveness and explain a obeah SLH use tie yuh so u wasn’t quite urself.You have until This Sunday to repent or else me personally a go tell her because me really wouldn’t mind wifey buss SLH baxide!
Well SLH is Satan yuh a help couldn’t Santa But please when u see me pon the left,try take the right or better yet mi love the middle so mi will Miggle the road and yuh go One side ok.Unno must never forget that God Don’t like Ugly!
:ngakak This is a good one. Sender, how can you expect her to have proper obeah man money when she’s a bleacher. Bleaching pricing enuh.
Listen me senda…di story sweet, but mi a go waan couple hint cause me cannot ketch on to who di people are in the story. Plus a ongle one dread mi can think of weh trim recently and I didn’t think he was married.
Maybe by Monday u will hear, ideally when she get her blouse and skirt duss out. It won’t soon be long Really Doah.
Oh…well I shall be patiently waiting
Senda u r the bestest u story have mi in stitches :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak
Dah story yah sweet bad. Tanks sender fi di morning laugh.
Fi real @ needleeye mi nuh love di long reading but mi read today lol.. mi all sound like a pastor a peach inna chuch
I laughed so hard in my son’s karate class di ole white scurmage dem muss tink me mad. I laughed to tears. Thank you sender you had my imagination running on vivid.