HER DAUGHTER MAKING A MISTAKE, SHOULD SHE STOP HER?

Dear Taiwo,

Please, I need your help and those of your readers to sort out the dilemma I am in right now. I wish, from the very bottom of my heart, that my husband will support me in this, but instead, he has left me to it and he is even making it difficult and painting me a bad mother before my children.

I am a mother of three, two boys and one girl, the girl being the oldest. I cannot say we are rich, but we are very comfortable.

My husband and I made sure that our children got the best education and of every other thing possible.

We both come from a comfortable home and before now, we have always been a closely knitted family, not without our ups and downs, though there has never been anyone this serious, such that it is disturbing the equilibrium of our home and the cause of all these is my daughter; Oluwaferanmi, who has refused to see reasons with me.

Inasmuch as I believe that at a point in time, children should be left alone to make their choices, but I want to believe that as a parent and their God appointed guardian, when we see that they are taking a wrong step, we should correct them.

My daughter all along had always wanted to be a lawyer, there has not been the time we had private universities all over the place. If there were, we would have sent her to one, when she could not make the cut-off point to study Law at her first attempt at Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME), though she made her school certificate papers.

We then advised that she should go in and study the course she was offered then. Her father and I loved and appreciated her determination, because after graduating with a 2:1, she decided to go back and study law for her second degree. She did not only do this, she further did her masters in Law, immediately. To the glory of God, she got a very good job with one of the best Law firms; though she is my daughter, without prejudice, I can beat my chest that she is good at what she does.

She laid a good foundation for her siblings to follow. She has never been a troublesome child, but this one she started is threatening to tear the family and break my heart.

It is just normal for any young woman of her age to come home with a suitor, since we are no longer in the age of choosing spouses for our children; but when she did, I can say with all conviction that my daughter made a wrong choice.

She came home with a man I can boldly call a tout; she knows this, but wouldn’t want me to say so or call him that. A unionist, with just secondary school certificate and I am sure he didn’t pass. Though my daughter said he passed and he couldn’t further his education because of the condition in which he found himself. As far as I am concerned, he is not the one meant for my daughter, but she wouldn’t listen. I am surprised that my husband is in support of their relationship. As if the disparity in their educational background was not enough, he already has more than one wife, but lied to my daughter that he has only one wife.

They met when he approached her to be his counsel; though he is rich, but like I told my daughter, we did not raise her in poverty; though we didn’t have the proverbial silver spoon, but we lived a comfortable life.

My husband’s argument is that I should allow her make her choice and not meddle, but I don’t see this as meddling. If he had supported me, we would have sorted this out, but he is not supporting me.

Please, advise me, how do I stop my daughter from making this costly mistake?