IS THIS LOVE?

Dearest Met,
I have a friend, we grew up together, our families are very close. He is my best friend, even though he was a boy. They used to call us Rassy and Fatty, cuz his entire family Ras, and my entire family Fat. Selah! I recently went to Jamaica, and as usual I went to look for him, to reminisce bout old times, and hang out. I don’t know when or how it happened, but we went from talking on the couch to me having his thick, curved to the left, long and veiny rasta rod in mi mouth. It was delicious!! I ate it, and I ate it, so that he could always be in remembrance of me. When it came to the love making, he made me feel so beautiful and loved and comfortable. He kissed me all over, told me how beautiful I was. WOW! Mi nuh know how him manage it but it big but never really hurt, even though him seh it tight and him feel like him a “walk inna one chuck up,chuck room,” him just know weh him a do, not too much daggering just nuff cool and deadly bubbling. Mi seh one time mi look over inna him waldrobe mirror and the ras have him head thrown back, and just a shake him head suh, while him a gi mi a backas. MI did waan laugh cause it look like a upside down broom, and mek love to a fluffy baby manatee. LOL. Then him seh mi fi guh pon top and do mi ting, while mi up deh a bubble and quint, the ras a bun a spliff and deh pon, “seh Jah know, seh Jan know.” After we were done, I told him how great it was, he said,”ordinary ting dat.” Met, how do I tell him I want the extaordinary? I am back home, and we just a talk like the friends we were,no mention of the s*x. How do I tell him I want more, a real relationship, that I would risk it all. Knot up mi head, and guh live pon bobo hill, and sell broom if he asks? Or should I leave it, and just call it an good experience, and not try to ruin anything? Should I throw ALL my cards on the table? (Before anyone bash mi, we never go ital we use we Magum)
Respectfully,
Deading ova di Dread