Good afternoon please HMID.
I am 21 years old and I’m the only child for my mother I’ve been a great child I’d say because I don’t give any trouble what so ever. I went to a very prominent high school in my parish passed all my subjects and went on to sixth form and also did great. The issue I’m having though is that I’m been verbally abused by my mother over the years she calls me a bi*ch tells countless amount of lies on me to her friends, at times I sit in my room and I can hear her on the phone lying to her friends as it regards to me. She has never told me that she loves me she has never told me that she’s proud of me. I’m a strong person and I smile no matter what. Nobody knows what I’m going through because I don’t talk about it, sometimes I sit and I talk to God. I work very hard to make her proud I try my best to please her but I constantly get bashed and get called names. My best is never good enough for her. I normally work but due to the pandemic I am out of a job and she usually works as well. I try my best not to waste anything in the house because I know the situation. I basically do everything in the house (clean,cook) the whole none yards I do it. Once my mother was on the phone speaking to someone and she said something that was untrue and I told her that that’s untrue and she told me point blank that she does not care and that she is my mother so she has all right to tell a lie on me, I was so shocked. Anyways I remain strong and I will continue to press on until my last breath, I’ve had suicidal thoughts multiple times but the Lord spoke to me and told me no that’s not the way and hence why I’m here.
Yuh mother a carry belly fe yuh father, she probably still love him and him her hurt real bad, and yuh a de reminder of what she probably would like to feget, yuh father. Never mind mi love, be strong and try make your way out of mother’s house because the situation is not going to change mi love. Stiil show her love and respect because the Almighty will bless and keep you but make your way out of her house.
So sorry to hear what you have been going through,but continue to stay strong. Try n save up and move out. Many of us have been through this kind of hate from a parent knowing we have done nothing to deserve it. Stay positive, continue to work hard and hold your head high. This too you shall overcome.
She’s a bad mother plain and simple. Respect her & have appreciation for her being your vessel to enter earth. Being your biological mother does not entitle her to abuse you in any way or tell lies on you. This is a form of emotional abuse and can be damaging to the self esteem.
Stop trying to get her approval and love. If you allow it, this can go on for a life time. These type of people usually do not change & are strengthened by you needing love from them. Not all women who can bear children are mothers, or naturally nurturing or motherly.
Success is the sweetest revenge & you have to teach people how to treat you. Not by cursing, fighting or being aggressive but by not participating in their bullsh#t. Do a little reading if you can on narcissistic mothers or narcissists. They lack empathy & feed on putting others down. You are a valuable human being & do not deserve this.
Moving out & distancing yourself would be best. Say positive things about yourself and watch your words. Children of verbally abusive parents tend to talk about themselves subconsciously in a negative way. You were conditioned to think and talk a certain way because of your environment and upbringing but bad habits can be unlearned or replaced with good habits. For example if you ever slip and say “ I’m stupid, idiot, unlovable” etc. replace those thoughts or words with Something like “ I’m lovable“ “ I may not know this but I can learn” “ I am a remarkable human” etc
Repeat these positive messages every day, even if you don’t feel or believe it. Eventually you will not feel suicidal etc and strengthen Your self worth. Positive thoughts & messages about yourself will become automatic.
Don’t forget, do not waste energy trying to change another person. It’s exhausting & we only have control to change ourselves.
Work on yourself! And your responses to stress, negativity etc. the focus is you and self- love! By sharing your story, you e helped others in this predicament.
Namaste
Well said…Excellent…Bless up Ginger n Sender take heed of this wise Counsel.
I don’t believe this… who pays for your school fee? Who pay for your books, clothes and etc.? The money that you work pay for all that? Please come with the truth, because if she never care she wouldn’t provide. Something you not saying or purposely leaving out.
Some mother can be so bitter rein pass relationship it’s sad and disgusting young lady stay focus and god will take care of you