Mr Vegas-Tanya Stephens, I just want to give you a hug sister! May God grant you peace and healing! This is just one of the many stories, of how brutal our sisters are treated! (Expletives)
Tanya Stephens-” I held back from looking up the #lifeinleggings posts because I knew what reading them would reduce me to. One tiny glimpse and all the screams start echoing in my head. I was first raped at age 17 by someone many of you glorify. I watch you call him a good man, and I hear you demonize me for “talking about rape too much”. I didn’t report it because I knew EXACTLY what you all would say. Why would HE rape me? He was popular and I was a nobody then, plus he had proclaimed himself my ‘big brother’ and when I was told I was too young to be hanging out at studios HE came and reassured my big sister I would be safe. How could I brave the judgment from admitting I was so wrong?
Second rape age 19 by my ‘boyfriend’ and his friends. A friend was visiting from abroad so he said let’s go hail him up before heading to the fisherman’s regatta in Port Maria. I didn’t see any harm in it. We went to one friend’s home. His dad was a policeman so that house gelt safe. When it happened I didn’t report it. Who the f**k would I report it to? After being released from the house I came across a sound system operator I knew and he asked why I was alone and what’s wrong. I broke down in tears and relayed what had happened he said he was taking me to the police. I was horrified and said no. His response was aarite I guess you did like it! He cursed me for not wanting to report it and that’s when I started going numb. A mentor who was a ‘bad man’ said I should show him the boys cause ‘dem fi dead’. I said I didn’t want that kind of karma, and he chased me away saying obviously I wanted it to happen or I wouldn’t be begging for them. For a few years I kept trying to win the approval of people who made me feel dirty. I even ‘dated’ one of my rapists, went back to the SAME HOUSE I got raped in. I just wanted to feel clean again, hear him say he didn’t think any less of me. I couldn’t even understand why the f*k I would do that! I had zero self esteem. Everytime someone laughed on the road I swore they were laughing at me. Sometimes they were. Women were the cruellest! “See di gyal deh weh dem battery a Frontier!” Was one animated identification as a girl my age excitedly pointed me out to another. Noses turned up. Even the ‘crew’ I used to be in singing at local dances informed me I was no longer welcome on the corner. A kind gentleman offered me a ‘safe haven’ to get away and heal. I figured what the f**k do I have to lose? So I went. He was VERY helpful. Taught me to cook a bit, helped me to feel a little stronger. When he initiated intimacy I couldn’t even bother to fight. I adapted ‘avoid rape, say yes’ as my mantra and screwed my way through the pain. MANY times I attempted to tell family members. COUNTLESS. EVERYBODY had up a block. When I heard them call another girl whore I would write them off. When I heard negative comments about OTHER rape victims I wrote them off. When I heard righteous rants about morality I wrote them off. When I heard descrimination of ANY sort I wrote them off. I saw them smile with a pedophile and discuss him behind his back but NEVER confront him so i wrote them all off. When I saw males treat women like shit physically, emotionally, mentally… I wrote them off. After one visit to a local psychiatrist and he smirked and said “Tanya Stephens! I have to take a closer listen to your music now man!” I quit seeking help in Jamaica and took my therapy on the run in other countries. Sweden was my biggest healer. I know I still have far to go.
The Bill Cosby conversations I watched unfolding on social media f((d me up. I watched people who claimed to be ‘good’ call those women whores and gold diggers because they didn’t have the strength or courage to speak immediately and I thought about my own inability to talk about a local counterpart of miniscule relevance and I cried for every woman you muzzle. For every woman not strong enough to say F**K YOU, you monster. For everybody on your walls and timelines and newsfeeds that you killed everytime you posted I hated you guys. Now i just sympathise. Your ignorance and apathy can NOT be much more comfortable than our pain! I’m 43 now and a LOT has happened, thankfully mostly VERY good things but the road to now is full of scars and calluses. It’s been 26 years. It STILL hurts. Big up my husband, best therapist to date.”
Tears Tears i know that hidden pain from experience. Only that when we come fort ppl jugde us and condem us especialy in jamaica . Tanya i pray you overcome that horrific chapter off your life it’s hard to moved on but the lord hear our cry & will heal our wound in Jesus name .
So many rape victims keep quiet because they know most people will blame them and won’t believe them!!! Have a man in my district rape him step daughter and her mom put her out neva believe har …the dirty drancrow tun round f**k him own daughter mumma shame and him run weh!!!
Oh Dear Lord!!Speechless!I admire your strength Tanya!!
Hello fellow Met and Metters
Glad she came forward because I noticed whenever we reports these things WE’re the ones that are shamed.
Few years ago I was visiting Jamaica and seen a mom and a “uncle” beating the shit out a young girl and the cops were called, turns out the young woman was being raped by this “uncle” from her preteen (she was about 14,15 then) because he paid all the bills, the daughter got tired of it and was fighting hence the beating.
Another story: Someone once told me of plenty young women in Portmore that got battery because they “diss di don” or just because and dem si some gal weh all 15 man line up a wait fe’it and when dem done fucc dem an let dem guh dem a stagga like young goat.’
Question: nuff jam’can artist nuh sing song dissing these “battry dollies” but not the pedophile rapist??!
Sorry to hear that doh Tania and yes, nuff times the women are the ones that are the harshest. While the rapist can proudly seh “a idiot gal dat, who.. me an mi fren dem fucc out dat” an both men and women laff at the victim.
That’s why as I got older I became more cautious of the types of dancehall music I entertain. When I was unaware I proudly sing “some gal a battery dolly” until I hear the stories I almost cried plus I was ALMOST raped by my stepdad then was told @a my fault” while he living his life with no regrets.
I feel your pain tanya, it happened to me also, and you are right there are times when you don’t resist you just go num and let them lay on you and do what they please because you become num to man. The word sex makes me angry. I am no means a lesbian but sex is always the last thing on my mind. Glad to see you are strong enough to speak on it in a public forum. Thank you tanya.
As a man I believe we need to be more vocal against these things, I also heard the pain in Tanya’s songs, and the sly disdain for men.
Big up to her still
You see how backward JA can be, that she sought professional help and the damn psychiatrist going to make light of the situation. Where the fck are these so-called professionals getting dem training. How the hell will healing happen in the land when those trained to heal are incapable of providing that care.
Stop generalize! She went to the wrong professional”.
Ok,if you say so.
ao she alone saw was similiarly abused she is in a video speaking of her experience and crying how the don sen fi her when she jus come from country, AND MOST DI DUTTY BLOOD CLOTH POLICE NO BETTER, DEM WANT F**K U PON TOP A IT ALL FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAD RUN INS. MEMBA A WOMAN WAS RAPED AT DENHAM TOWN WEH SHE SEEK REFUGE, MOST JAMAICAN MAN WHEN U SAY NO DEM TEK IT FI YES, A SO RITA SAY BOB RAPE HER,
Wow. My heart goes out to her.
Sorry to say but I still dislike her…She is rude, deceitful and malicious….she did not deserve to be raped…it wrong wrong wrong but dat lady is something else.
Tanya need fi call names….why she protecting her rapist…..call him name…..she could have spared other girls from this rapist if she call him out…gwey tanya….cant stand you…..when I spoke about my abuse mi chat everything…who what where when how….mi chat it all….tanya gwey!!!!!!!!!!
Marie :nohope
I agree with you, Marie…she fe call name. I too was almost rape by a man my family took in and up to dis day him still apart of the family. I told my mom what transpired at age 12 and all she could say was “well it never go in caws yu bite him so nuh worry bout it!” Man dat statement made me even more bitter. Few years later de said jancrow get charge fe rape!! Now that I’m a mother I sit my mother down and really talked to her and enlightened her that things and time change. I finally had to forgive that crab-louse in order for me to heal. Pedophiles fe get called out and done for…just like murderers DON’T SPARE THEM. Because the killed the soul of the innocent sometimes.
Good Morning, Marie :peluk
you really nu like Tanya :hammer. Wonda if a barringtin levy she a chat… :travel
Hush. Sorry to hear that.
I have not written on this site in about three months or so, but this Tanya Stevens revelation of rape, abuse and bruising self – esteem, reduced me to tears. It takes a lot of courage to come forth and speak about pain and internal and external struggles.
It takes even more tremendous courage to speak about rape and sexual abuse.
Tanya I thank you for speaking out, for letting everyone know that you are not perfect in terms of self- esteem and worse, the rape and sexual domination you have been through.
You are a hero in the sense that you have used your music as a platform, to heal not only your self,but thousands of women throughout the world you have given strength, joy and a voice of expression . Your music about raw female emotion, relationships, mistreatment, woman strength and even social issues resignates powerfully in all of your songs.
Tanya, you continue to be my favorite female artist that I have embraced sixteen years. Your music has always healed pain and added strength. It is also a coping mechanism that many women can relate to, in experiences that are familiar to themselves or another friend. As a college educated and graduate school woman and mother, there is not a song Tanya has sang about the ghetto or a woman struggle, disdain of a man that I could not relate to
Continue with your healing my love. You are an amazingly gifted artist and a powerful woman. Try not seeking acceptance from anyone anymore and let that love continue with yourself.
Marie you too bad but a true ting u a talk why covering up the rapist maybe he’s still doing the same thing to other innocent females out there. Mi feel it fi u Tanya but u fi dash out dem names.
I am really sorry to hear this happened to her. I think she is probably still “friends” with the rapist that’s why she is not mentioning his name. It could be that the first rape was statutory and she is just coming to terms. However, her attitude is unexplainable she seems envious, judgemental, inconsiderate and mischievous. I think there is more to her life story that may have happened way younger.
One day I will talk about my rape at the hands of a popular DJ, who was at his oeak popularity when he raped me. Never told anyone, his friends knew cuz they brought me to him (dragged) actually. One day I will go seek help, it affects especially the anniversary of the rape because it happened on a holiday.
Good morning im so sorry that what happened to you happened and I really do not have the words but you should seek justice and help. While we do need to heal sometimes we can help and it causes us to heal. I really cant comment on Tanya because while I am sorry , truly sorry for what she went through, she has her own set of self issues that takes away from my empathy …Her stride should be different so maybe she needs more help than she thinks and now maybe the time to get it.
I am sorry for what happened to Tanya. She mentions the Billy Cosby saga and how people did not believe the ladies. Now she has not mentioned the rapists names, maybe others would get the courage to come forward. I personally cant her, but I think I understand her irrational behaviours. Maybe that’s why she does not believe in God. Tanya has stories of being abused, so does Lady Saw. I would not be surprised if there were other ladies in the dancehall who were abused and still had to share time and space with their abusers. I pray for healing for these ladies. My sister was abused by her boyfriend who also allowed his friends to rape her as well. More than 25 years later she has not gotten over it.
Alot of parents gotta be careful who they let around their kids, If I wasn’t a little chatty mouth child,who love fight, I too would have been a victim. My mother’s cousin tried to touch my genitals while I was falling asleep, I jumped up and cursed him,and chuck him in his chest, I never said nothing, and he never came back. That was back in 95 . Then around 2000, my aunt’s man tried to sexually assault me, I fight him off and kick him in his balls, he tried that with my sister and my cousin, they messed him up…..then we all spoke up…and he was dismissed. Alot of abuse taking place in Jamaica.
Hey PP MiNuhCare,NeedleEye….I would not be shocked if it was Barrington PP…and if so we nuh hear bout the pedophile already???? I didnt mean to sound harsh and I thought about what I wrote…..people disclose abuse in their own way and time but she will not heal, until she exposes him…he still has power over her. I would tell her to pray about it however who or what does she pray to. I cannot listen to music that was penned by any athiest and I do not care how conscious her music is. She need fi go write a song and call name inna it…
Didn’t Tanya go on All Angles and say she was never given any trouble by men in the music industry? They even went on to say other female artists need to sing conscious lyrics and not depend on their sexuality. I hope some one here had watched that program with Mrs Jackson Miller.
Vivinne harself was very terrible to some of the men. What she hasn’t learned yet is that u have to believe in a Higher Power and life will continue to force its stuggles on her until she learns that a Higher Power is part of the healing process
There is nothing wrong with sexuality. It is something that should be admired and embraced. Black women especially possess melanin and these we exude sexuality beyond all other women in the world.
The fact that Tanya would invoke her sexuality and woman power and prowess in her conscious songs makes sense if she was abused. She is taking back that power that was taken away from her when she was abused, rape, or mistreated. I admire her for that.
To say you cannot listen to an atheist is overbearing and judgmental. You wear clothes made by homosexuals. You eat from restaurants where people are immoral, you probably eat meat that was mercilessly slaughtered, so WHO are you to judge another being ?
I wrote the earlier comment about admiring Tanya and about the rape ( I am the one who said I did not post here in a few months).
It is great seeing so many people respond to this topic though and women sharing feelings with each other about a hurtful, serious topic .
But a wah do this smaddy??? If you gonna chat to me stick to the topic which is not my diet or clothing….AGAIN…MI NAW LISTEN TO NUH ARTIST WHO HATE GOD…MUSIC IS POWERFULLLLLLL..SO NO TANYA OR KARTEL FOR ME HOPFULLY IT SOUND WAY MORE OVERBEARING AND JUDGEMENTAL THAN THE 1ST TIME I SAID IT??? Carry on with your PSA re Tanya…mi naw tek back mi chat…Tanya is a deviant in more ways than one….