In your own words, what is your PERSONAL definition of rape and can rape happen in a relationship or marriage? Please also state if you are male or female and if you have ever been raped and by who
In your own words, what is your PERSONAL definition of rape and can rape happen in a relationship or marriage? Please also state if you are male or female and if you have ever been raped and by who
I believe rape is any non-consensual sexual contact either by penetration or forcing someone to preform a sexual act (oral sex). I am a female currently 42 years old. I was kidnapped for 3 days and raped repeatedly, beaten with a gun and was told I was going to be killed if I resisted, as well as the neighborhood guys would be called to gang rape me as well if I try to escape. I did not know my abductor before that awful night. I escaped and I am a survivor. This happened when I was 16. This man robbed me of my innocence.
Not sure if this will be the correct answer but I do believe you can be raped in a marriage or relationship. I know when you are married (I am to a wonderful man) it is said that you belong to each other two become one, but it is your right if you do not want to have sex. You should be able to say you are not in the mood, you are not well or whatever other reason. Unfortunately if you withhold sex from your spouse it can give the person reason to seek satisfaction outside the marriage or relationship. This question comes with many ifs. Rape in marriage or a relationship sometimes are hard to prove. Also a vindictive woman can lie (it has been done on many occasions) just to get even with the other person. There have in the past been so many false accusations of rape leaving many victims reluctant to come forward. I have spoke on here before about my ordeal before I left the island. I lived in fear for quite sometime. Now I am strong enough to tell my story and support and encourage others that there is hope after. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Unfortunately there are many and I do mean many unreported cases here in the US and a vast amount right there in Jamaica. There many silent victims. I can imagine the dilemma of a woman (or man) in a relationship trying to prove they have been raped by their partner. Yes I have heard of men being raped and will not report it because of being shamed. I apologize for the extra long explanation.
Your comment makes me sad again but for only one reason. Jamaica is still not doing enough to help rape victims. Im happy that you have a good man :kiss
:peluk
I was a teen he was and stil is a popular DJ. The older I get the more it affects me. Any woman who says no and the man persists,be he husband or boyfriend. He committed rape.
How does it affect u?
:peluk
1 Rape does happen in marriages more than we think.
2 I define rape as forcing someone (male or female) to engage in sex after they clearly said no. Offenders can also be male or female.
3. I was violated before, but never raped thank Jesus but I believe that molestation especially over several years can be just as devastating and traumatic as rape.
Yes rape does happen in relationships..i am 26yrs female,in a relationship where some time i do feel raped or force until i give in jus not to be in a taggin battle.. .for example 11.24.17 one night home in bed my bf wanted to have sex after a huge fight we had earlier that day,i told him no i’m not sleeping with him,he was insist on having sex so he literally fight with me,used all his man power to hold both my hand above my head by my risk while on top of me he then used one of his hand to rip my panty off and had his way…
Rape can occur inside of a marriage No means no.
I was ALMOST raped by the friend of a man I was dating in my early 20’s. He tried to rape me in the apartment while my boyfriend was not home. I went there to wait on my boyfriend to come home that night. My boyfriend had a habit of allowing his friends to have keys to his apartment he said he trusted them. Nevertheless while I was there the guy sat next to me and started to tell me how Sexy I am and he felt like he deserve me not his friend.
I felt uncomfortable with the conversation and I tried to call my boyfriend he didn’t answer so I beeped him lol yes this was from beeper days. Either way the guy got tired of me stalling and hopped on top of me and tried to take my clothes off. I fought cried fought everything he covered my mouth with one hand and put his knee on my arms while he sat on me and used his other hand to pull my pants.
God had other plans,with the last strength in me I flipped him off me and ran through the door. I bolted straight home barefoot in the winter. To make a long story short my boyfriend ended the friendship with him and my sister now dates my would be rapist and when I ask her you don’t remember what he did to me she said oh that he said he didn’t do it!!!!!!!!
Rape is sexual assault against a person without their consent or they having the capacity/wherewithal to give such consent.Thus rape can,will n does occur a good amount of time in relationships because from time to time one of the parties may be unwilling but force,intimidation,power n coercion are applied to pressure said party to give into sexual assault.
The closest I can relate to having an experience that fits rape will pale in comparison to what many of ladies have suffered,so I’m hard-pressed to say It reach the threshold of the pain n suffering of the typical rape victim.
I was awoken by a familiar sensation but I know I was dreaming so I probably didn’t react rt away but after a lil over a minute I groggily realize n opened my eyes .There she was just slurping n gaggling away and all the push mi a push away her head…she determined to suck out mi soul..too much teeth n excruciating pain let me screamed stop stop plz STOP…she persisted.
Mi push away HER head but she literally had me by the balls n she gave me a threatening look n tell me shut mi bloodclart mouth n in that moment I realized I WAS assaulted even years passed n I never thought of it as Rape.it is rape because I never wanted sex from HER…just a lil 48yo lady I hired to do housework cuz I was doing 14hrs Sunday to Sunday at work.i went to the police station and asked hypothetically speaking about how dem proceed in a situation like mine… The male cops cussed me out and the superintendent ladies the inspector laugh me to scorn n sent me home.
Once there is a hesitation and the word NO is stated … time to pack up and leave.
Being raped in a relationship is the worst feeling because you find yourself willingly giving the same thing that was forcefully taken. Based on my experience it is the gateway to other physical abuse. Looking back the mental/emotional abuse existed long before I realized.
Also, not to be forgotten are those who are not of age of consent particularly young children who are groomed by demonic adults and anyone under 19 (in my opinion) regardless of their “adult” behavior.
Rape when the sex is not consensual…I was raped by a so called taxi driver from Manchester was traveling from Mandeville to Rose Hill it was night I hot in the cab with about four other ladies , pity I didn’t Kno they were gonna get out before me in which they did , so instead the man bring me to mi stop in Rose Hill him meck a next turn an teck mi go a him yard threaten mi wid something Inna mi side thought it was a gun , all di beg and plead mi duh it go through one ears an come out di next . Rape me di night an early morning tell mi fi get dress an leave an if mi tell nobody him wi track mi dung an kill mi.
@Met and Marie I sincerely wish there was a better support system in Jamaica for people in all kinds of abusive situations. My heart breaks when I learn how many potential silent victims are out there. No one to cry to. Victims are often blamed. Same story (we probably did something to cause it)… That is a violation to another person’s body!!!Yes I was fortunate to find love. My husband has been very supportive. I no longer feel shame nor fear. To all who read this thread whether you have experienced this trauma or know someone who has…
To the survivors remember you did not cause that horrible thing to happen to you. It was not your fault. Whether you were on your way home, went to the wrong home, trusted the wrong person, in a marriage or relationship, your dress was short, you had a little to drink what EVER the situation was if you did not want those advances IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. The fault lies with that demon that forced on you advances you did not want. Please do not let that violator determine your life story. Do not allow that demon to rob you of your future. You are a survivor. Many did not survive. Some were murdered, some committed suicide… live, love, laugh!
To the people who know of someone that this has happen to, it is not a source of gossip. Robbing someone is taking a material thing, rape? This person violate a person’s mind body and soul. Do not laugh or judge the victims!!! The person is someones child, someone’s sister, cousin, friend, brother (yes you saw YLT’s comment). It happens to men as well. YLT that was disrespectful and inhumane for law-enforcement to totally vilify you when what was done to you was a violation. This sick twisted society we live in… I just hope we can see change. Not just march, or have a hashtag, but real change one community at a time. Make these monsters give an account. If we that have been victimized thought we would get justice and not our brains blown out or be shamed we would speak up more. As we speak a poor child is being violated, someone is being torn into a million fragment pieces of pain, horror, shame and hopelessness. It needs to Stop.
I had a couple experience…First at 13 years old Rape/Child molestation he was a pedophile already in his late 20ties he had his way with me I felt so dirty and ashamed all that was left of my innocents and childhood was done.I had to go to court to testify against him and it was a traumatic experience during that time everywhere I went I was paranoid thinking I saw his face.
2nd incident it just always seem like everybody wants a piece of me.I had a cousin Rape me.I was scared to say anything,I didn’t know if anyone would believe me and thinking about the disgrace it would bring to the family.
3rd incident I spoke about it on the other post and like I said I was embarrassed and I felt stupid and blamed myself for even putting myself in that situation with that person for that to have happened to me.
Rape is a serious accusation and A woman should never lie on a man about it.
As for rape in a relationship it does happen.The wife might say she is tired and No she does not want sex if the man still force himself on her that is Rape! A man must respect a woman wishes.. One night I got a little drunk but I was with my boyfriend we reach home and I was wasted an ran straight for the bed.The last thing I remember he came on top of me and we kissed after that I must have passed out..When I woke up the morning between my legs felt like He had sex with me while I was passed out.I asked him about it later the day and he made a joke and said no but I believe he did.
A wey fi stawt.
Rape a when mi seh no an yuh still seh yes.
Yes. Rape happen inna marriage all di while ppl just nuh talk cause some nuh know di rights.
Female. One a mi personality issa gay male doe.
Yes been Molested/Raped/feelup/all di above.
Been molested by: Half Brother, Two male cousins over and over
Raped: by uncle, and Two men who i would kill in a heartbeat.
Hold dung and feel up by some males cause i didnt want to give up my virginity and he ask his sister why i dont want to give in to him and she said I do and him muss hold mi dung an tek it.
Also the uncle that raped me said where mi come from in a ja a peer sketel come from desso… suh mi did deserve it….
Honestly mi naaaa go tell yuh seh mi get ova dem shit deh… i dont freaking know mi prably need help cause mi waah kill all a dem.
Plus mi deal wid man like taxi… some mi nuh memba dem mi can sex an nuttn nuh come outta it… love been neva live yah… an when it gwan like it waah visit mi run like teef…. mi block out everyting mi have oda ppl wah mi mek deal wid di tings i cant still… dem inna mi head.
:peluk
@Latty+5 my heart hurts to hear what you’ve been through… To yourself and all the others here, understand this, we are stronger than we think. We are survivors of unspeakable horrors. Only someone that has had that level of evil forced upon them can understand the emotions that runs through us. The many times we replay in our heads what we could have done differently. .. I should have stayed home, chosen another partner, wore something else, not take that cab… why did I not see this coming to avoid, where is the support…on and on our minds try to fix or undo the horrible wrong. Then when we can’t, we try to surpress. Some of us never speak of it. We hide this things in the dark corners of our minds. Unfortunately it manifests itself in other areas of our lives.
We are survivors, do not let this thing control your life. These demons have done enough damage. My strength came from my faith in GOD and reading the bible trying to understand how all this fits into the everlasting. My soul was comforted there. I wrote poetry when I felt strong. I used the pen to release the anger, I cried then I realized I don’t have to allow this to define who I eventually evolved in as a person. I am no longer that broken child. No anger, no bitterness. I am glad to have life, I encourage others that I have came across to let them know there is hope. Everyone deals with trauma differently and in their own time.
We are blessed to be here and be able to share our stories. Someone may read it and understand that they didn’t do anything wrong and the fault does not lie with them. Jamaica may not have a strong system or program to support and educate the public about these things. A lot of the abusers do not get punished for what they have done. Nor do they get educated on the damage they caused. We can shed awareness to others to the youngsters close to us and who we come in contact with, about the dangers out there. How to stay alert and aware. How to travel safely. Teach them also that it is a crime to force unwanted advances on others. Let them understand this follows people for a lifetime.
Ladies we may have been violated but we are survivors! Walk with a purpose! We are resilient beings. We are overcomers. Live… love…laugh!
YLT I should have said ladies and gentleman, that was written without seeing the full volume until I revisited and realized, I just did the same thing by not acknowledging your ordeal which was insensitive on my part. Bless up.
More blessings unto you Anon,your outlook and attitude is nothing short of inspirational!! I admire your strength and have empathy for all victims and their loved ones!
Jah know the story them heartbreaking, neva wish them wickedness pan no woman.