SEH HIM WIFE BORROW SUH MUCH HIM SHAME

Dear Taiwo,

I have a serious dilemma and it is so painful and shameful that I find it difficult to share or discuss this issue with anyone. The only person, who would have been of help to me on this issue, is a worse option; I really don’t know what to do or how to handle this issue.

I am a product of polygamy, and I have vouched not to ever get myself involved in anything close to it talk less of raising my kids in a polygamous environment, and of course, this is one of the reasons why I took my time choosing my spouse carefully and prayerfully.

My wife, Modupe; her middle name though, is supposed to have a pedigree and I believe she would make a good wife. Apart from the fact that she possesses all the features I desire in a life partner, she is also well behaved. I fell in love with her the very first day I met her having fulfilled all I asked God for in my woman.

To top these qualities up, I was further taken in by the fact that, she didn’t have a polygamous background. Though, her father died while she was just 11 and her elder brother was 14, their mother refused to re-marry, all she wanted was to take good care of her children and secure a good future for the two of them. Of course, she did, but sincerely, I cannot lay my hands on what happened after we got married.

After I learnt all I needed to know about Modupe and after I have prayed and God gave me a sign I required, I took her home to meet my parents, I was happy that my mother and my younger sister, who happens to be my only sibling, took to her. It was like a match made in heaven. I bless God for this, because, if these two women in my life then; especially my mother had raised any objection, I would have been devastated. This is because I had always prayed that the woman who will steal my heart should be like a daughter to my mother.

I know what she went through to see my sister and I through school, I had always desired a woman who would take my mother like hers, this Modupe did. Her coming into my life also came with a lot of goodness, because no sooner had I met her than I landed a very lucrative job with one of the international oil companies where I got to the top cadre without delay.

The only snag, however, is the fact that I had to be away from home most of the time. She was in the banking industry when we met, but as soon as we got married and she became pregnant, we both decided that she should resign and start a business of her own. She decided that she wanted a boutique and I encouraged her all the way.

Because I was always away from home, I didn’t want a situation where her job wouldn’t give her enough time for the children. Ours is a good and close knitted family, because even our mothers relate like sisters, so whenever I had to be away from home, I felt confident that all would be well.

Our first child a boy came not too long after our wedding; my wife also started her business in earnest. I was however surprised that barely six months into the business, she started complaining of lack of capital and the fact that she was broke.

I was surprised because, despite the fact that I never allowed her to use a dime out of her money to start the business, I also give her enough for the housekeeping and even for personal effect and even sometimes she would jokingly ask me to add the baby’s allowance which I gladly do; all because I didn’t want her to touch her business money.

I had planned that as soon as our son was a year she would begin to make trips abroad that would make her business really big. Eventually things did not work out. I really wasn’t bothered because I felt it was her first try at business and if she recorded a loss, I shouldn’t blame her too much. As God would have it, our second baby came not long after our son. Modupe, became pregnant even before our son clocked one.

The second pregnancy wasn’t as easy as the first and she gave birth to a set of twins, two girls. I love my wife and children so much and I will do anything to make them comfortable and to the glory of God I can afford to do so without making extra effort.

To cut the story short, the twins are four years now, while their brother is five plus and my wife had tried her hands on over six businesses, if I am not exaggerating. I expressed my concern to my mother and she advised that instead of wasting so much money on business, I should continue to make her and the children comfortable and save all the money for the future.

I tried this and it worked, I pleaded with her to remain a housewife and take care of the kids, I didn’t want to hurt her by telling her I wasn’t interested in wasting money on any other form of business. I however became sad that my wife began to owe people money by buying clothes and jewelries on credit; things she doesn’t really need.

Several times, the people she owed money would call me and threaten to disgrace her. She graduated from buying on credit to borrowing money. I was shocked when I raised this issue with her mother and she answered by telling me to increase her allowance if what I give her isn’t enough; after all, I am the one who decided she should become a complete housewife.

I didn’t tell my mother all these because I do not want any bad blood or ill feeling within the family. I was shocked when I eventually learnt that Modupe took after her mother’s lifestyle. I am wary of telling my mother, I am also concerned that one day, my mother would find out when one of the people she owes comes to embarrass her.

Every time I come home to see my family, it is a season of debt payment. I don’t know what to do. I have enough, money to make my family comfortable, but the embarrassment is becoming too much. I have made my findings to see if she is using the money for a project, but the answer is no. I don’t know what my wife does with all that money, please, help me, how do I solve this problem?

Paul.
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