SHE CAUGHT BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA

Dear Taiwo,

I need help and I need it urgently, I am so scared. The honest truth is that I want to be happy, just like every other human being and just like every woman, I desire to be loved and cared for especially by my husband.

Lekan, my former husband and I met way back in the secondary school. We lost contact when we went to the higher institution. When we were in the secondary school, our relationship was more of platonic, because we did not get past the “I love you letter” level.

I didn’t miss him and thought nothing of our relationship after we left the secondary school and lost contact, but as the Lord would have it, we were posted to the same state for our National Youth Service and we met at the orientation camp and this was where we started a serious relationship which took us to the altar.

There is no point talking about what happened and what we did before we got married, but to the Glory of God, we got married. As at the time we got married, Lekan was with one of the new banks, then they all were just coming up and growing fast.

I also worked briefly with one of these banks, but I had to pull out because our babies came in quick succession and I had a difficult second pregnancy. We both agreed that I should resign and go into buying and selling and if I eventually wanted to take up any office job, I would be when the kids are grown up.

I had no choice because of my health. Lekan had a good job and with the little I have been able to save we were able to live well. His mum was particularly of help. She likes me like her own daughter and she took the position of the mother I had Iost early in life.

Everything was okay until Lekan lost his job when our second child was three and our first was five years respectively. It was during the time most of the new generation banks were merging when most of them couldn’t meet the Central Bank’s requirement. He tried getting another banking job, but it wasn’t easy. He studied Economics in school and with a Masters degree; it was just difficult getting a job.

We decided that he should try his hands on business, this he did by pulling resources together with some of his friends. One thing led to the other and they all lost out. We were afraid of what could happen if he didn’t get another job soon. Mother luck however showed her face when his paternal uncle who had lived almost all his years in the United States came home on a visit and heard about our plight.

He did not hesitate to take Lekan back to the USA with him. Because of his uncle’s contact, he began to make headway in the USA even earlier than we expected. We both agreed that he should send goods home while I sell. I later learnt and concentrated on clothes, shoes and other accessories for both men and women and I made a success out of the business. I had travelled to see him several times alone and also with the children and he also comes home regularly to see us. His mother and two younger siblings had also visited him several times and we all bless God for the chance He gave us to live well again.

Things however changed about five years ago when Lekan suddenly changed. He became a different man entirely. It all started when I had the cause to call him because the children and I had road accident on our way from the church. I was shocked when a woman picked his mobile phone and said he wasn’t available. I called his land phone immediately and the same woman answered that he wasn’t available.

It didn’t occur to me then that it could be anything serious, I left a message for him and asked that he should call me back as soon as he received the message. He didn’t until about seven days after, when his mother who kept calling him was able to bypass the woman who had been picking his call.

His mother had been worried, thinking maybe he had any problem when she also couldn’t speak with him. She called his uncle who assured her that he was fine. I wasn’t sure of what went wrong, so I couldn’t get angry with him when he eventually spoke with me. I was too relieved to quarrel with him. The same woman kept picking his call even after all was well with us at home and one day, she asked who I was.

I asked her to identify herself as I wanted to speak with my husband. She became hostile and cut me off. I couldn’t help but be angry with Lekan and asked him questions when I eventually got to speak with him. One thing led to the other and we had a serious fight over the phone which led to our break up for over five years.

During which he did not send the usual goods home. Fortunately, I had also become knowledgeable about what, where and how to shop for my goods. I travelled to the USA, but I didn’t get to see him. I also travel to Dubai and other places to get my goods.

It was on one of such trips that I met a classmate and course mate of mine from our university days who had become a traditional ruler. We were good friends back then and we got talking and I told him all that has happened to me, this was about three years after Lekan and I had quarreled. He told me he would marry me and make me happy again.

I thought he was joking, but before I could say jack we started a relationship. from my experience with Lekan, I had nothing serious in mind. Just wanted a man who will show love and care and who will be there for me. But Kabiyesi, like I call him took the relationship serious and he never stopped telling me that the moment I have had sex with him, I can no longer have sex with another man or other men.

Because I had no intentions of flirting around, I wasn’t bothered by all these. Unfortunately, the unexpected happened, just when Kabiyesi was on my neck to allow him see my people and marry me properly. Lekan came back on his knees pleading with me to come back to him.

He has been begging me now since late last year. Initially, Kabiyesi was angry even with me for giving Lekan an audience after all he did to my sons and I. But I told him I would want some time to think up the whole issue and this is the reason I need your help.

Lekan’s mother has been there for the boys and I even when he left us. She is also pleading with me to take her son back. I am torn between the two men. My fear and concern now is if I decide to go back to Lekan, what would happen to him and even me, because Kabiyesi had told me not once and not twice that I cannot go back to another man.

The woman who caused our trouble, eventually left Lekan, the thought of having my husband back as against becoming a second wife with Kabiyesi is very appealing. Please, can someone help me? What are the pros and cons? I really need help.