Dear Taiwo,
Please, help me sort this riddle; I don’t know what to make of what is going on around me. I am careful not to build a mountain out of a mole hill or create a problem where there is none, but my mind keeps going back and forth and I am sincerely not comfortable with my husband’s explanation.
We have always lived in the Eastern part of the country and that was where my husband met and married me. He is Yoruba while I am Igbo. He was posted to Owerri for his NYSC; he served in a bank and was retained there. He was however transferred to the South West after seven years of his stay in Owerri.
My parents, especially, my mother was skeptical of my moving to the South West with him, but I couldn’t have done otherwise because I love my husband so very much and with two children, I didn’t think staying back would be the best choice.
Initially, I had some issues with my mother-in-law but I was able to overcome, because it was more of cultural differences. I wondered why it was so because we related well when I was in Owerri and she was there to visit us many times. Hers wasn’t an issue I had with her because it was something I was prepared for so I handled her issue with maturity.
The problem I have however is with my neighbours. I am not the jealous or overtly protective type, but of course I am not stupid. My husband moved here before us and I noticed that when my children and I came down South I discovered that these women were not as friendly as the picture my husband painted to me before I arrived.
When I raised this with him, his answer was right and I accepted because, we all have our solitary period, I probably try to reach out to them only at times that they wanted to be alone. Because he told me that maybe they wanted to be left alone whenever I made an attempt to say hello or be friendly. As a result of this, I decided to keep my distance from them, so I do it their way, when they greet and are friendly, I relate with them, but when they decide to be cold, I go my way.
I however noticed that they are always looking out to speak with my husband and are very friendly with him. Three of them reside in the same flat and they are sisters with children. They would always be at the parking lot when my husband is outside and things like that.
In fact there was a day my husband was cleaning the car and the youngest who was almost half naked was talking with him. I was not comfortable with what I saw through the window of our apartment and I had to go outside. She asked my husband in Yoruba Language which she believed I didn’t understand that what was I looking for?’’
I answered her immediately that I came to speak with my husband. I was shocked when he told me that I should go inside and he would meet up with me. I raised this with him later and he said he did that because he didn’t want me to draw issues with her as she was too low to me.
Something like that happened again and his excuse wasn’t too convincing. When we moved into the apartment, we decided that we would reside there until we are able to finish our own house which we started when we came to town.
I was however shocked when all of a sudden he raised the issue of moving into another apartment. I was yet to get over this sudden change of heart without telling me first when I overheard him and this same lady discussing about the issue of their own apartment and the fact that herself and her sister spoke with house agent to retain the extra flat for my husband and his family.
I then understood where the sudden decision for us to move out came from. I was also shocked to realise that he knows where they work and even where the eldest has her shop.
I am sincerely angry about what I overheard them talking about. I have waited for over two weeks for my husband to raise their discussion with me, but he didn’t. He only told me he has been able to secure an apartment and as soon as he paid, we will be moving. I replied that I am yet to see the reason why we have to move.
I really don’t know how to go about this, kindly advise me Thanks.
Debbie.
Keep quiet, bide your time and start transferring money from his account to yours (likkle bit at a time so he doesn’t notice). When you get a sizable anount, throw up the peace sign and dip out. Oh, and leave him with the two kids.