SHE WANTS TO GO BACK TO HER PARENTS

Please, help me, I want to go back home to my parents

Dear Taiwo,
Please help me find a solution to this mess I am in. I cannot tell my parents or even my friends because everyone around me had warned me but I felt I could make good the relationship, get married to this man then shame everybody. However, I just found out two weeks ago that I have really been foolish and he had actually been using me and manipulating me diabolically and successfully turned me against my family for a purpose I just discovered.
I met Frank few months after I finished my NYSC, and got a job through my father’s goodwill with one of the very solid banks in the country. He came to lodge in some money and I attended to him. I was not attracted to him because of his money; I am from a very comfortable home and money was and has never been a problem to me.
To cut the long story short, one thing led to the other and we started dating. What I noticed from the outset of my relationship with Femi was that everyone I introduced him to never liked him, but unfortunately, I loved him and I thought he loved me too; but I was very wrong.
My best friend, Laide was the first person to call my attention to the fact that Frank could be a fraud. This was because even after we have dated for about eight months, he never introduced any of his friends to me. He was always the one who visited me, I could not visit him. I didn’t even know where he lived. I also could not just pick my phone and speak with him, it’s either his phone was switched off or out of service. I only got to speak with him when he called me.
I raised this issue with him several times, but he would always have an excuse ready for me. I lived at home with my parents and that was how they met him early and he started coming to our house about a month after I met him.
My parents have only female children, three of us and I am the last, all of us are closer to our father and he gets to know things about us before mother did. When I told him about Frank, he asked me to find out some information about him, before going too deep into the relationship. He said I should find out his job, educational background, where he came from and stuffs like that. You wouldn’t believe that simple facts like these took him time before telling me and the little information he offered turned out to be fraudulent when the chips were down.
Mum took an instant dislike to him the very first day he came to our house. I know dad too felt the same way, but I am sure he tried to hide his feelings for my sake. I never liked the way mum spoke about him and this, almost all the time, led to quarrels between us.
When my eldest sister got married, he was invited and he was also asked to come with his family. He gave an excuse about his parents and came with two of his friends, I really did not like them. I had never met any of them before, but I tried to put up with them because I loved Frank.
I should also let you know that although we were not the so-called born again family, but my parents are the God fearing type and they taught us the fear of God, we were not forced into it, but we all agreed to a strictly no sex until marriage relationship even without our parents’ knowledge and I told him this.
Though, unbelievably, he agreed with me and that was one of the excuses he gave me when I complained that he never took me to his house. He said he deliberately did not take me because he was trying to avoid any form of temptation. Although whenever he claimed that his work load was less he could come around sometimes, we would stay back in my house or he would take me out.
He was also very fond of buying very expensive gifts for me and I always told him that these were not things I needed. There was a time he bought a very expensive wristwatch for me and I made the same complaint. He became angry and said that he knew that he cannot be as rich as my father but I should know that he was better than some of his age mates. I really felt bad and I pleaded with him.
At a time, he told me he was very broke and he needed two million naira to do some business. I did not need to ask my parents, I had it, so I gave him. Three days later, he returned it. I was shocked because, the time he returned the money to me and the way he was when he asked me for the loan did not tally.
I asked if he didn’t need the money again, he said he had used it and he wanted to return it with an interest of a million naira. I did not want to take the interest from him, but, he insisted. It was not long after the issue of the wristwatch, so I had no choice but to take it from him.
I really cannot say as at that time why my mother could not stand Frank, and I was so angry that I moved out of the house.
It is a family tradition in our home that every Christmas we all have dinner together and after dinner we speak about different issues and try to trash some things out. I guess it was my parent’s way of taking stock. Unfortunately, that particular Christmas, my issue and Frank’s was the topic of the day. Every member of my family wanted me to leave him; even my married sister and her husband who were present agreed to the same thing. My daddy who had been my best ally, that night was on the other side too.

Without mincing words or looking ridiculous, I loved Frank and I couldn’t understand why everyone was against him and my relationship with him. When Kunle, my sister’s husband saw my plight, he asked my parents to take thing easy and promised to check Frank out. He has the capacity to do so because of the nature of his job.
Two weeks after Christmas, Kunle came home with his findings, he told my parents and I that Frank was a 419, he is involved in advanced free fraud and that the company and friends he kept are not the type he could even imagine. He advised, just like my parents did that I should take a walk from the relationship.
Unfortunately, I loved Frank too much to listen to any reasonable suggestion from anybody. After the New Year celebration, I told my parents that I wanted to move in with my friends.( Before this, however, I made the mistake of telling Frank all that went on in our house during Christmas and about Kunle’s findings. They both agreed that I could move out, but daddy said he would be very disappointed in me if I moved out of the house under pretext to go and live with Frank.
I, however, did not do that, I moved in with my friend, Laide, she also did not approve of my relationship with Frank, but she allowed me to stay with her.
Frank, however, became a changed person after I told him everything that transpired in our house during Christmas and Kunle’s findings. He began to invite me to his home. The first time I visited him, I was dumbfounded by what I saw. He has a very tastefully furnished house, in fact, I could say his house is better than ours, but the odd thing, is that he lived there all alone; not even a cook lived with him.
That day, he invited me to stay the night, but I declined, because I remembered the promise I made to my parents. The next time he asked me over to his place was a weekend, it was his birthday, and he said he was expecting some visitors and he wanted me to be around. I asked my friend to come along with me since it was a work-free day.
The first thing that threw me off balance, however, was his reaction when he saw my friend with me. It was not as if he had not met her before and he knew we lived together, the only thing he did not say aloud was, ‘why did you come with her.
When his friends arrived, I didn’t like what I saw. I raised it with him and he became very angry. I had to beg him. He called me a snub and a spoilt rich girl. We eventually settled and I became a regular visitor in his house and began to stay the night.

One fateful day, I went to his house but he wasn’t around, I called him and he told me where to pick the key from. Fortunately, my friend called to find out where I was, I asked her to meet me up at Frank’s house and she did.
I kept calling to tell him I wanted to leave, he asked that I wait and if push came to shove, I would sleep over. I did not tell him my friend was with me. We had slept off in his room when he came in with about four of his friends. I can’t actually say how many of them.
They thought we were asleep, they started discussing me. They wanted to know if Frank had completed his arrangement and how much was I and my father worth. My friend asked me to keep quiet when I wanted to scream. We both heard everything; he was also mandated to take me to baba after he had carried out all their instruction.
Which baba? And what for? Laide advised that we left and not wait until they come for us. I could not recount how, but we escaped. Since then, Frank has not called me, neither I him. I feel bad having disobeyed my parents. I have never done this before. I want to go back home, I don’t know what to do or how to approach my parents, please, advise me.