BIG UP SIR–I WANT EVERY MAN TO READ THIS STORY

What a gwaan met. So I want to give a follow up on this story that I asked for opinions on a couple years ago.

First thing. I thank everyone that responded and I appreciate every response, even the ones that beat mi bad. RESPECT! I am always trying to be a better person. I have come a long way.

The child is now 7 years old and he now knows that I am his father.

This did not happen overnight. As a matter a fact it is still pending the outcome of another DNA and the process to start through the legal system. All parties concerned though are on the same page in regards to the child. Even the alledged father. Thanks to the most high it worked out without violence.

Reason why I feel a need to share this is because I realise that my situation is more common than I origanally assumed. Also
it is even more difficult to fix or remedy a situation like this the longer it is draggs on.

So from where I left off in part 1 of the saga. I stopped communication with baby mother after about 8 months after the DNA. Reason being, the mother was not ready to make the necessary changes in regards to the child and allowing me to be the father.

I stopped communicating because I felt like after the DNA proving for a fact that the child is mine, I would start to get attached to the child yet not have the ability to see him or spend time with him. All this because the alledged baby daddy is still unaware that the child is not his.

That 8 months, at the time I believe was enough time for her to do what is right and move forward. During this time I did not support the child or made any attempt. This because of the said reason I mentioned above about getting attatched yet not being able to see or spend time with child.

After the DNA she had asked for 3 months to fix things. Then after that 3 months 3 asked for 3 more months. Then after that 3 months she asked for more time. I tried my best to understand her position so i gave her all the time she requested. Then after her last request for time had expired and I tried to contact her, she blocked me everywhere and stopped answering my calls.

So I did what she did not want. I got in touch with one of her relative and let them know what was going on. Then more of her family got involved. They all shared the view that it was a risky situation and may result in violence, which i understood. That was around March 2017.

The last conversation I had with her, I told her that my phone number will never change and she can take all the time in the world. When she is ready to fix things she should let me know. Of course I was lying. Know for a fact that child was mine I could not give her indefinite time.

In April 2019 I came to Jamaica after 7 years. I Knew that I have a son, I want to see my son, but I may have to make an appoitmnent then play hide and seek to see him. I was never about that. I called baby mother and the conversation about fixing things restarted. She had not made any progress in adressing the matter after 2 years.

I went to her parents house and I spoke to them and let them aware of what was going on.
They prentended as if it was news to them. Could have been. But I am sure people in their family knew.
Anyway they called her downstairs and all four of us were there in dialog. Her her parents were adamant especially her father that she do the right thing and tell the alledged baby father the truth and also give the child the right to his real father. Her father was saying it should be done by the weekend. I believed it was a Thursday.

I felt good as if progress had been made. I child was at school at the time and I waited till he got home.

It was one of the most ackward situation for me, Hearing his mother introduce Him to me as “this is my friend”. Not that I expected her to say that I am his father but… I just stood there looking at him. I did not know what to say to him or anything. I stayed there watching him play, pretending to and talking about being a soldier.
I was a real soldier and could not even share some real soldier experience with him.

It was unbearable so I left and promised to be back the next day. Which I knew I wasnt comming back because it was hard. Hard not to be able to own that child.

I returned back to the states and about a week later baby mother called me and said she told her baby fathaer the truth and its all done.
I asked her out of concern for their safety how did he respond and she said he packed up and left.
Then she asked me now that he is gone who is gonna take care of the child. I told her dont worry about that. I will call her later. Let me make a few calls.

Long and short, for my safety and everyone else involved I wanted to ensure that she did what she said she did. So I made a call and she did not tell the man anything. I however did not make another day never pass without him knowing. Something I wished I had done from 2016 when the DNA result had just came back.

Everything went down hill from there. Baby mother was mad at me saying its not my place to tell dude and blah blah blah. Her family was mad at me too. But my family was happy. My mother was the one who I got to break the news to dude and he did not react violent. He did walk away though.

Plus they had another child together about a year and a half old. From that day I sent her money for my son. She eventually calmed down and looked into the process of changing his lastname to mine.

I went back jamaica to have the DNA redone as part of the process and this time I saw my boy. It Wasn’t that ackward. Still a bit new. I am trying to get used to everything slowly. His mother had started to break the news to him prior and she says he his handling it well. I am glad its over. Its nowhere where I want it to be with my boy, but its a start. I missed out on a whole bunch of years in his life. He missed out on me too. I dont know if I can make up, but I will ensure I miss no more. I am not at full speed right now as I am still trying to know him.
I Don’t want to scare him so I will proceed slowly. We are in a good place and I am grateful.

To all who gave their advice in part 1. I did take them into consideration. Some were kind, some were harsh. Some were selfish, but in this world no two people are the same. We will all have different opinions and afterall that is what i asked for. Your opinions. Thank you all. I gave the situation time and I tried to understand. But in the end We are doing what is right.

My advice to anyone who faces any thing like this. Time fixes alot of things but not this. The sooner you can do the right thing the better. We all make mistakes but how we react and move on is what is important.

For persons who commented in part one about my ability to take care of a child. I did make some progress. 2 houses in america one just finished in jamaica.

Also for person who said a pickney mi want. At the time in 2016 while requesting the DNA. my wife was pregnant. Have a 2 year old now and also done a vasectomy.

It was never about wanting a child or matter of taking care of a child for me. It was always about doing the right thing.

PLEASE READ PART 1 BELOW

I need some outside opinion on this.

when i was in jamaica i was with a girl. we were not exclusive just fucking. she said she was not seeing anyone else.
we even went as far as to talk about friends with benefits.

we were like that for about a year and a half, just f***g and respecting each other.

then i got a call from her one day that she was 3 month pregnant and i am the father. i was not ready for no baby or any news of that sort so i wasnt excited. i asked how long she knew and she said a while back but she didnt plan to keep it so thats why she just telling me.

i asked so what change your mind. she said her sister told her that a baby is a blessing so she decided to keep it.

ok man up take responsible, after all i know we were fucking, and at the time according to her she was not seing nobody else.

the fact that she waited 3 months to tell me and was considering abortion behind my back raised a few questions, but i trued to understand as she was about 21 and had just finished her associate degree and was looking forward to kinda start life.

remember now me and this girl not exclusive, but i was like fuck it. so i decided to put her on my insurance plan and started to some what get myself ready to be a daddy. i was asking people for advice and thing as it was my first time.

there was this guy at work i was talking to. he was a taxi man. i told him about the abortion that nearly happened and that she only told me that she was pregnant after 3 months. he asked me how i know the baby was mine and that thats not how men normally do in a situation like that.

he said i should wait until the baby born then i step in if the baby look like me.

that conversation kinda shake me up a bit so i decided to question baby mother, kinda sternly and blunt. this was nearly 3 or 4 weeks after finding out.

gues what baby mother said. ok dont worry it is not your baby, forget about it.
i was glad but i was shocked.
remember i was allegedly the only one she was f***g.

i backed out but we kept in touch. when the baby was born, i went and visit her and and see the baby, bearing in mind that there is a 50% chance that the baby is mine.
there was,a baby daddy in place and it was what it is.

i migrated to the US about a month or so after the baby was born, and just like most people who run off in the US. i hit rock bottom.

I was on my face and going through the struggle as an illegal immigrant. Me and baby mother kept in touch and i always ask me to send me pics of the baby and we always talk about the posibility of the baby being mine.

i had always acknowledged the possibility and promised to do a DNA when ever i come back to jamaica.

we kept in touch throughout in regards to baby. that was our little secret. then 2016 i got status in US and i found out i dont have to go to Jamaica to have DNA done so both of collaborated and have mine and the baby’s sample taken.

long story short. baby is mine, but here is the conflict. another man have the child as his and him and baby mother live together as a happy family.

my intention is to have baby name change and i take child to spend time with me in US.

baby mother was shocked and dont know what to do. said i should just forget it and let things stay how they are. also that i should keep it a secret.

i told her that wasnt possible as it is a fact the child is mine, but i can allow her some time to do what ever she have to do to make a smooth transition without much conflict with her man.

for now i am just on standby waiting to make the best decision for everbody.
it not a blame game we were both adults and performed recklesd behaviour so i shere the blame and just want to make the best possible decission.

what do i do