Hmid
I am not seeking advice I just want to know if what I am feeling is natural. I have been with my husband from before di two a wi have sense play dolly house first kiss etc. I went to school while he worked on starting his business me and him struggled together when I say struggle I mean live in a car, sleep pon people floor, nuff hungry days. Things started changing him business started doing but I wasn’t finished with school because of all the up’s and downs. He started asking for baby because him said we finally can afford one we were trying but nothing was working, I started doing IV treatments finally I got pregnant but a month later had a miscarriage we had about four to five miscarriages in 6 years of trying. My husband and his best friend had a falling out and his friend came to my work place not even call or text me he came to my work place (I work at the hospital). He asked me if I knew him and my husband fall out I told him yes but I don’t know why, him ask me if I want
To know I told him I did because have to be something serious because him have me number could call or text but didn’t he said my husband have two children with two different woman one of which was born in April of this year a child I am the god mother of. I am unsure of how to feel my husband was down in my back to keep doing the treatment for me to get pregnant saying he really need to have a child to carry on his name. I stopped the treatment because I couldn’t bare the thought of having another miscarriage. I asked him about the children at first he said he was too busy to cheat so him too busy to make baby with anybody else I told him not to lie to me he owed me the truth for the years I struggle with him, him ago say him never sure if dem a fi him so he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings (L.O.L) yes I did laugh when he said that because me swear a joke him a mek. Everyone telling me they would leave him how do you leave someone you
Can’t remember not knowing(but I don’t really know that person cause the person I know to be my husband would never be so evil towards me). I don’t feel anything I am not angry I am not upset I am not sad I just don’t feel anything at all like I am not even there at all. I can hear what everyone is saying but I can’t remember after them done talk I don’t try to think about the situation but I do but mostly what he said after I ask him. It just keeps replaying over and over and over again I just really want to know if it’s normal
Sender, First, I commend your bravery for seeking advice or rather input from this very informative blog. You ARE brave. And trust me: life will go on ..whatever you decide.
To answer your question, what you are feeling is VERY normal. I feel at this stage, you are responding to trauma. Your mind, body (maybe even) and spirit are reacting to not just bad news but something traumatic . What distinguishes what happened to you as trauma is possibly because you’ve tried for years to carry a child full term for this man.
I think you should do yourself a favor and not just seek counseling, but specifically, counseling designed to help you deal with trauma.
Now to the gritty stuff…I was once with a guy who subjected me to the same and just like your husband, he gave a half-ass-lying response. One day, a light bulb just went off, I was depressed , feeling worthless and less of a woman… sis, I left that man. This was a few years ago.
Over time, I realized that he was manipulative , narcissistic, and psychotic.
He truly cared zero for me while carrying on his grandiose exploits …one of which brought a blessed child into this world (nevertheless) .
But I sat that day that the light bulb went off and thought about the shame, the ridicule, the hurt and pain…. and decided to end the train ride.
Sis , to be honest you alone can and will decide if/when enough is enough. I pray that you’ll have strength on that journey because it’s truly one you take alone. ..
My prayers are with you and your situation. (Forgot to mention, you husband ah one real bombohole. Eh hem. The end.) :thumbup
Have you ever tried fucking another man??.. Maybe ano u an him fi create… Nuh worry bout wah happened already he probably would have did it either way… I know the thought won’t leave ur mind but with time healing will come. Go sleep with someone else …it might sounds harsh cause dem seh oh yuh husband an such but mi naaa tell nuh body fi leff dem man suh dem ppl deh who a tell yuh dat nuh good… As mi seh fuck somebody else and see what happens.