Dear Met,Metters and Peepers,
I’ve just finished a conversation with my great bonafide sistren.We have been friends since 1991 so I was very concerned when she said she was stressing and needed me to check out a link online and tell her what she must do.Met I saw the most heartbreaking, shocking and gut wrenching thing.My friend had gone on social media and posted details of how she was raped in 1994.
Her alleged Rapist attended that cultish high school that claim they are of royal blood and colour.My bonafide went into the heart of the matter and Met this is some tangled messed up headache! !!She’s married to her high school sweetheart who she met when he and his Boyz came to our high school for Maths extra lessons. Her husband’s friend is who allegedly raped her and now after 23 yrs,she’s find the courage to come forward. Instantly two immediate major problems has now arisen.
The first problem in which I think she’s wrong; comes from how she went about it. She went to Social media basically the world and shared her ordeal without consulting her husband. He knew about it after his friend ,the same accused rapist sent him the link.Met the accused was able to convince his friend the hubby that my friend his own wife;was lying! Can you imagine the man closed ranks and stay loyal to his cult over his own wife?However when you are married, both of you ought to act in one accord,one voice comes what may,together as one you face it. You don’t just do ur own thing.
The second problem is that their marriage is on the rocks because they both feel betrayed by each other. He has known his friend long before his wife and swears his brotha wouldn’t do that. Moreover she’s gone and embarrassed them according to him,by going public. My friend says she can’t stay with him because he has chosen not to support her in this dark hour and she feels like packing up and return to Jamaica with their daughter.
She wants to come to Jamaica in April for 3 weeks to get away from it all and we hang out. Met I promise you that I’m going to tek away myself from this one. The truth is it would be great to chill out uptown in the golden triangle area away from this Ghetto life, but all I could offer her is a shoulder to cry on, something decent to ride on and moral support.She needs and deserve more and I will goodly make it worse.
I still want to help her so I am asking for your thoughts, the best of which I will share with her . she’s wrong for not telling her husband but Met he is more wrong for going with that cult.They are downright God awful and we’ve all seen those bumper stickers and cultish behavior at boyz champs.Only Some Christians and Kartel Gaza’s rabid fans come anywhere close to those Lambs. MET to think that bastard all those years ago could have raped her and told her that his bestie won’t believe her . Is it any wonder she stayed silent for if your childhood sweetheart, your husband won’t believe you, who will??She loves her husband ,how do they fix this Met? I weep for my beloved girlfriend.
There seems to always be at least one person who will discredit or not believe you after you reveal something like this. This type of revelation breaks up relationships for obvious reasons so what I’ve learned is f_ck em and mentally tear gas them all. If my husband wants to ride or die with his friend, the rapist,and not with me his wife, I would mentally teargas his a$$ too. It’s either he is too fragile/cowardly to deal with knowing that his wife was raped (therapy needed then) or he just straight up p*$$y. I won’t even try to nice it up. The roller coaster ride that the wife will endure with her husband will undermine her own recovery and in the end creates more unnecessary pain for her. I have no patience/tolerance for adults who fall short of protecting, victim shaming, living in a state of denial where there is no logical reason why most victims would lie and most importantly those who fall short of loving and supporting victims. As far as putting it out there on social media is concerned, I will not judge her. When that piece of garbage was raping her he should have thought about all possible ramifications of his savagery. She can reclaim her power by any means that feels right to her providing that it is within the confines of the law. You, the friend, are in no position to speak on how she chose to reveal this. I have seen worse things on social media so why the judgement??? Why does it matter so much? Don’t let that be the focus because in the larger scheme of things it doesn’t matter. If it were me, the time he spends trying to brainwash my husband, he would need that time to prepare his case in criminal court. And likewise the husband, the time he spends being anything but supportive, he should use that time to prepare for the divorce papers that I would serve on his a$$. Their marriage will be doomed anyway without intervention and/or prayer.
I am inclined to agree with everything you’ve stated.I don’t agree that it is judgemental since we all know the tenets of marriage require you share critical information with your spouse. I fear they are doomed too but I’m more interested in her mustering up the strength to initiate criminal proceedings.
There’s no statute of limitations for rape and murder.My concern is her credibility because I can’t shake the feeling that her husband will literally tesify against her and for his bestie.
Husband a pussyhole cause my youth which man ago admit seh him did rape yuh wife youth…. mann rape a rass rape weda 12 years ago or now…. mi cyah mad wid har fi hide it cause sumtimes yuh shame an wanda how ppl ago look pan di ting plus embarrassment plus yu sanity everything yaw man…. rape wee mek yuh bloodclaat mental str88888 up! dont stay back doe even like yuh seh mek she cry pan yuh shoulder… An mi naw tell nuh gal fi lef dem man still but…all him fi go marrid him fren….dem man cult ting deh a peer battyman inna dem anyway cause a wah suh rass secret wid just bae man.
The Style of Writing mirrors yardie’s, Sender what something are you referring to in this line:”the only thing I could offer is a shoulder to cry on, and something decent to ride on” lol
More and more victims are turning to social media, because nothing happened when they told family members or even the court system.With social media, there’s a sense of community, outpour of support from others who’ve gone through the same. So I can’t say whether wifey is wrong or right.
I don’t think it would have been any different had she told her husband first, he would have probably still sided with friend, difference is, she wouldn’t have social media support.
Sorry things don’t add up. 23yrs secrect. Married the homie. I’m sure the homies remained friends. Secrect let out on social Media (no trust in relationship). Husband would have never known if same homie never show him the link (not wifey). My personal opinion. Sistren need to come with the full .
Writa, how this situation playing out, according to the visit?
I commentted, but it didn’t post. In short, I wanted to know how the accuse knew the web page and knew it was about him; then, I wanted to know why she didn’t tell the huaband the story from they started dating heavily, before being or during their engagement.
The brotherhood maybe stronger than the relationship from the get go…the marriage shaky.