Dear Taiwo,
I am full of regrets and I hope I am not about to destroy the home I have painstakingly built. When I was about to take this decision, my husband warned me, that is why I cannot turn to him for help now. Unfortunately, he has decided to keep his arms crossed and his silence is very unnerving.
I remained my mother’s only child until her demise three years ago. When I met Banji and learnt that he is an only son I marveled at the coincidence. Our relationship brought our families together and at a level, you could hardly separate one family from the other.
When we decided to tie the nuptial knot, it was to the delight of everyone who knew us and my friends were particularly envious of my relationship with my mother-in-law because she took me just like her own daughter.
This relationship, however, not withstanding, my mother called me and had a mother-to-daughter talk with me when we were preparing for our wedding. She charged me to take and relate with my mother-in-law like I would and she advised that I have to overlook a lot of things, more so, because, my husband is an only son.
She said this because, my mother-in-law would hold her son close to her heart just as she holds me, the fact that she raised him as a single parent would not also help. I kept all these to my heart and fortunately, I enjoyed a very cordial relationship with her, so there was no cause for alarm, until recently.
I had always thought my mother enjoyed good health, until about two years before her death when she told me that she had fought against cancer for years and it had reached a stage that she could no longer hide the fact from me. And of course, by then, it has reached the terminal stage. She however, lived longer than expected, eventually, she bowed to the inevitable.
Her death shook me, but my husband and mother-in-law stood by me. Unfortunately, she died nine months after my father’s death. Not long after these losses, my mother-in-law took ill. The thought of losing her was too much for me to bear, so I insisted that we should bring her to live with us.
My husband agreed, but insisted that she should take the boy’s quarters apartment. I couldn’t fight this, because he insisted that his mother would need her space. Not long after she moved in, she started complaining about boredom. She wanted her immediate younger sister to come and stay with her.
When she told my husband, he kicked against it. I wondered why, but he insisted that such won’t happen in his house. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I connived with my mother-in-law and we arm twisted my husband.
He however, told me that he won’t be there when I would realise what I got myself into. I didn’t believe him. But no sooner had my mother-in-law’s sister arrived that trouble started. Despite the fact that they lived in the boys’ quarters, she pokes her nose into everything.
She complains about everything and the fact that my husband and I are extravagant. She complained about our children’s school. I didn’t mind all these, since my relationship with my mother-in-law remained the same, but unfortunately, things started to change. The woman I had grown to know and relate with as the mother I lost became a stranger.
When I told my husband, his answer was, “I told you, didn’t I?” Sincerely, I could live with this; I will be careful and avoid both of them as much as possible, until my mother-in-law comes to her senses, but my husband is making things worse; he gave me an ultimatum to send his mother’s sister away. How do I do this without offending my mother-in-law? This is my cross. Help me
Moyo.