I Forgive You, Stranger Rapist
This is a column written by a woman who was raped at a school. It is directed at the man who assaulted her nine years ago. She was 11 at the time. Her name has been withheld to protect her identity.
Dear Stranger Rapist,
Do you remember me? Because I sure do remember you. For the past nine years, I have been plagued by the memory of you. I have held so much blame and guilt for the evening I couldn’t comprehend.
On Friday, September 28, 2007 (yes, I remember the date), you raped me, saw me coming home from school (oh, how you must have planned this for days). I was just a defenceless little girl, who you should have protected, but instead, you dragged me into the nearby bushes, where not a soul was likely to dwell.
With no possible way to escape, I wondered if I deserved it. You threw me on the ground and ripped off my uniform – yes, my uniform. You held a knife to my throat and I can still hear your voice echoing in my head to this day, “Gyal, if yuh mek a sound mi buss yuh throat!”
Was it truly my fate? I tried to fly, but my wings you had broken, my mind filled with confusion and yours filled with evil and wicked lust. I can still smell your stinking ganja breath!
Even though tears ran down my cheek, it’s like you didn’t care. It never mattered to you, you just wanted to have your way and your way you had, with the little girl I was.
Does it plague you? Do you feel guilty? Do you even have a conscience? Do you have a daughter? What would you do if that should happen to her? Was I your only victim? Mmm, was I?
You paedophile! You rapist! You are nothing but a coward! That’s what you are!
I have hated you for all these years, and if I knew who you are, I would strangle you with my own two hands because prison would be too good for you!
‘I HATED ME’
You ripped my heart out and made me into a cold, dark person. I hated me.
Not only did you assault me, but you violated my soul. My psyche is scarred by your evil onslaught.
My pleasure is pain yes, I enjoyed being hurt. I cut, and watch the blood run as tears flow from my eyes. I cry myself to sleep every single night. I have no love in my heart. I don’t even know how to love. You took that away from me when you raped me.
It’s as if you took everything away from me that evening, and I hate you for it. I HATE you! I HATE you! I HATE you! You hurt me extremely deep.
I have pushed away so many people who have had nothing but love for me, but I couldn’t love them back. Because you raped me, I have imprisoned the real me and cast myself into mental isolation – away from people.
A silent anger has been my diet, refusing to talk and being abused and violated many times over. For nine years, I have relived that nasty experience, being angry, shrouded by bouts of depression and anxiety BECAUSE YOU RAPED ME!
This moment, today, NOW, you rape me no more!
It is said, “He who angers you controls you.” I will NOT. I repeat, I will NOT allow you to control me ANYMORE.
I FORGIVE you, I FORGIVE YOU, I FORGIVE YOU, Mr Stranger Rapist. Wherever you are, dead or alive, I forgive you.
And one more thing before I go. I think you should also know that I have forgiven me. For the way I think (negatively), for accepting pain as pleasure and hurting myself, for being guilty and ashamed of something that I DID NOT DO.
Yours truly,
The girl who has LET GO!
ACID AND CASTRATION :marah :marah
Lady from the bottom of heart I feel your pain. While I could say sorry for what you have been through it would be of no consolation. You said it, it was an attack on your soul. But take comfort that you still have your soul and there is a God who can fix it, that you are alive, that you have now reached a point in your life that you can let go. Go forward with this renewed strength, seek to help other women and men to reach where you are. Know that while there are animals walking like humans not all men are the same. You will, if you have not already, find love and happiness in a man who truly loves you for you. A man who must understand your emotional and psychological scars and look beyond them and understand his role as your support as you continue your path of healing. If you have children it is important for you to share with them. Just take heart that you have empowered many who have been suffering in silence. That they may now speak up and speak out and get help. While I doubt you will see this know you have my and many others support. Women’s issues are men’s issues
LOVE AND SUPPORT TO THE FULLEST MY SISTER!!! HeavyD
For all rape victims
Listen to Creed song titled
“Wash Away Those Years”
She came calling
One early morning
She showed her crown of thorns
She whispered softly
To tell a story
About how she had been wronged
As she lay lifeless
He STOLE her innocence
And this is how she carried on
Well I guess she closed her eyes
And just imagined everything’s alright
But she could not hide her tears
‘Cause they were sent to wash away those years
My anger’s violent
But still I’m silent
When tragedy strikes at home
I know this DECADENCE Is shared by millions
Remember you’re not alone
Remember you’re not ALONE
Well if you just close your eyes
And just imagine everything’s alright
But do not hide your tears
Maybe we can wash away those years
For we have crossed many oceans
And we labor in between
In life there are many quotients
And I hope I find the mean
the mean, the mean
Well if you just close your eyes
And just imagine everything’s alright
But do not hide your tears
I hope that you can wash away those years
We strongly condemned all forms of abuse against our women n children.
Babygirl listen Mary J Blige ft Jay Sean song titled Each tear. Music is theraputic n helps the process.
There’s something that I want to say,
But I feel I don’t know how.
Still I just can’t hold it one more day,
So I think I’ll let it out.
You’re on my mind more than I may show
You’re in my heart more than you may know
And the last thing that I want,
Is for YOU to fall apart.
Your future WIlL get clearer,
I want you to remember.
You’re MUCH MORE than the struggle that you go through
You’re NOT defined by your PAIN, so let it go?
You’ re not a victim, your more like a WINNER
And you’re not in defeat, you’re more like a QUEEN.
In each tear
There’s a lesson,
Makes you wiser than before
Makes you stronger than you know!
In each tear
Brings you closer to your dreams
No mistake, no HEARTBREAK
Can take away what you’re MEANT TO BE!!
I hope ur letter encourages others to make the first steps to begin the healing process.The key I think is to not beat urself up n don’t make the shame make u wrongfully take the Blame.Thank you so much for ur letter,i deeply admire your strength angel chick,GOD bless n keep you n yours.
So sorry for your hurt and pain my dear. May God give you the strength to move on and rise above this tragic event. Consider yourself a survivor who will get better each day. Be blessed.