What’s in a name, or acronym for that matter? Lots, it would appear…
Being an Uptown (UPT) Girl is more than being from certain a zip code; it’s an all-consuming career path. From birth, all UPT Girls are enrolled in the “catch a man” PhD programme with a double major in “good-good” body and a minor in protecting the family name. Excellence is a must! As is being well-bred, trained and disciplined regarding how to be perceived as the perfectly behaved daughter, the smiling trophy girlfriend and the ageless wife
The rules are non-negotiable: somewhere, someone is watching.
UPT Girls are well-heeled, well-surnamed, come from good homes and are expected to marry into even better ones. The ultimate goal is to have a man. Hence looks and the men in their lives, be they fathers or boyfriends, are of importance. Careers are encouraged to prevent ennui until marriage and motherhood. Eschew all thoughts of taking over the family business! Don’t be simple, that’s for the boys! But it is acceptable that they helm the associated family charity until they spawn the next generation of UPT princesses, of course.
The UPT Girl listens keenly to her Chief of Staff — her mother — ably supported by a cabal of aunties, whose greatest pleasure in life is imparting tried and proven truisms on how to find a man, hold a man and run a household.
It is possible to work one’s way into being an UPT Girl, but be warned, the social rules have to be adhered to more strictly than those born with social pedigree.
The ability to run a constant PR campaign is applauded. This, after all, promotes wife-ability. Maintaining a competitive edge through looks is part of the daily routine. Indeed, the UPT Girl is more faithful to her trainer than her husband! Frequent manis, pedis and blow-dries are a must. UPT Girls have more bikinis than morals and in every colour.
Of note is the social media of the UPT Girl. The pages are specially curated to maintain a balance between an image of physical attractiveness and potential as a good wife. The backbone of the UPT Girl’s social media is the bikini pic, showing off a body that is simultaneously curvy and rock-hard. Supporting this are cute pictures of the adorable children in their lives and photos of them looking family-oriented.
Things have changed which poses remorse for many. Indeed, the colour of wealth and ambition have changed in alarming proportion. What this means — roll out the yoga mat and exhale — is that the dark whites are in scarce supply and so the upwardly mobile black man is deemed a worthy option. Thankfully, they, for the most part, are only too eager to acquiesce.
From Uptown Girl to Uptown Housewife, things change but just a tad! The UPT Housewife was last seen somewhere between Page 2 , Cannonball cafe, and picking up their children from AISK or Hillel. No, silly, CRU and Uncorked are for the girlfriends! But we digress. The UPT Girl runs the household better than the country is run and her retinue floats a portion of the Jamaican economy. The UPT Girl turned UPT housewife is perpetually stressed because “it’s so difficult to find good help” and she is always on the lookout for signs of infidelity.
Hell hath no fury like an UPT Girl scorned or having to live on a budget, the result of an acrimonious divorce! For without Gordon Steer or Peter Champagnie on retainer, the UPT Girl would be forced to add realtor/interior designer or event planner to her status.
Positively clear and I’m sure a pinkwall cause all of this uptown frenzy!!! Observers dem not only ova ya a Observe…dem a tek dem cue n a venture into pinkwall’s niche market n a talk di things dem too!!
Unno owner is a usd$ billionaire pon Forbes list so why the observer fraid fi call names??Mi never know a so JMG did bad suh and di brave owner nuh have nowhere near dem breed a money deh that can back up any chat pon ya!!
Me brother! We been hot since when? Did website is page motherf**king DOS!!!!
Obaerver thriw dem corn, but a ova yah de fowl dem ago cime peck! Lolololol
Train rass concubines to luve up to the Willie Lynch letta! Go suck unu mumma befire unu land dis day yah fi com argue wid a self made BLACK BITCH! :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak
Cheers bitches! :ngakak :beer:
WTF….lay off the crackpipe PP. Have you ever heard about …”getting high off your own supply”? Black Bitch or Dumb bitch? Your choice. I vote for the latter!
Dog shit go read 2:05 post!
knock you self out!
Observer say you cunts have more bikin than morals and are trained by the head whore in chief.
ie, you dependent,dumb whore of a mother and you faggot daddy.
From today you could address me,all you want, but I won’t see you.
Go hang you self wid a bikin string
:ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak
Rate a chat deh Sista PP!!let’s drink to that yes!! :toast :cendol :alay
Dem also did an article on UPT Boys, gonna search for it or u can Metty, about how dem love dem yacht, rum, parties and imported girlfriends etc.
http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/lifestyle/style/how-to-identify-an-uptown-boy_102643
Btw, incase: I am also the midget, dwarf, hoodrat, bushrat,”poor” gal, hater, badmine,housekeeper,whore,slut,dutty gal, black gal..you name it :ngakak 50/50 as a wife but 100% me own life!
But the world will always know you phuckers as “WELL TRAIN MAN CATCHERS/household concubines” :ngakak :ngakak
I salute all women who have earned without mother, father or a MAN :ngakak
Other than stating the obvious, I don’t get the premise behind this Observer article; why did they even publish it?
“UPT girls have more bikinis than morals”, truer words have never been spoken.
“Indeed, the colour of wealth and ambition have changed in alarming proportion. What this means — roll out the yoga mat and exhale — is that the dark whites are in scarce supply and so the upwardly mobile black man is deemed a worthy option. Thankfully, they, for the most part, are only too eager to acquiesce”. THIS, prime example is Usain Bolt, that’s why they are fighting against dancehall because now these young people are making more money than some of those uptown folks and they are slowly moving into their communities and the UPT folks (especially the “original” ones) want to stop this from happening.
Mi seh UPT people hate pinkwall because it exposed their fake, unhappy and broke lives.
A sasco wife an har sista dem post dis inna observer???
This speaks volumes!! Obviously observer over her reading!! All they need to do was call names lol if a laugh I drop off this chair. What away them a read Auntie Nicole file neatly.
Same thing the sender said
JMG a the real MVP!! Observer/star over here like these UTP concubines reading! If JMG never call out these fake bitchies. Observer wouldn’t have a story! Moral of the story “they are more committed to their trainers,more than their husband” I only hope Nicole and her followers guh cuss and call observer all kinda hood rat,gullyrat and helpers! Happy 4th of July everyone!
Rightly so! They are now being called out by their “peers”. Wonder what names she gonna call them now.
The AISK line was clearly for her. The writer read the sh!t out of them and their fake lives.
Dem good good Observer call them out. Wonder if dem ago stop pose up pon page 2 now.
Observer over here reading!! Longtime the observer tired of them paying to be on page 2….. only God alone can tell me is not Nicole and her sister them talking about! The bikini,the trainer,the social media fake relationship,the school the kids attend! I want to hear them bash the observer!! :tkp :2thumbup
Money Mike and his concubines.
Why Money Mike concubines always have to post up pics wherever they go with him? Everybody knows what is going on and how he rotates them, is it a competition to see who he is spending more time with?
This is why with all the dirty living these girls not leaving them man. I.e Rachel and Greg.
The observer forgot to mention, how they are abused daily, how them husband a fuk them daughter and they hide it, they forgot to mention, how they cry daily for lack of attention from their husbands, who daily gone inna the ghetto fi the proper fix, how them husband a sex off the household help, how them stress daily because more time them husband gone overseas with different gal, listen, I know from experience, uptown woman goh through some things , just to live the life
You know the amount of cussing dem get ova yere no equal to this article[and is some serious reading wi gi dem] :ngakak
From birth they are enrolled in the catch a man phd program :ngakak smdh
The dark whites :ngakak wth? :ngakak inna 2017??? What a stress :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak
Nicole,Rachel,and Yolanda soon say a SIMONE are MIMI writes this article! All now mi a laugh. I swear think observer was them friend…everybody hate these low life wanna be fake Ass bitchies!! Nicole nuh stop post lol!! Side note Nicole Olivia say reason she doesn’t like you,is you always a cuss and style people as ghetto! Olivia say you must remember is a one bedroom her and Jeffery use to live in a before him start make little money……she say even though she’s a big manager at Sagicor she nah fi get where she coming from! P.S. stop make the back yard to kitchen produce dem spoil guh learn fi cook tin macreal and dumplings and bananas your husband favorite dish!!
:hope
” No, silly, CRU and Uncorked are for the girlfriends!” Money Mike favourite place.
i know peter champagnie…….from back when he used to ride a scooter to UWI and back every day……scooter was not so cool but he himself was a cool individual……make no mistake…he is uptown born and bred …