Hello, I’ve been with this guy for almost 2 years right. I love him but at this moment in time I’m not sure if I should stay anymore. We’ve been arguing about everything and each time we argue I just feel more and more like I’m going into a shell. I use to be able to can say what’s wrong and all that communicating but even that I’ve stopped. It makes no sense to me to be constantly having to tell someone the same thing over and over for them to still not do it. When I tell him that I need more effort overall if I don’t do or plan anything we don’t see each other. I purposely never plan anything and he did nothing when confronted he said he was going to but like I spoke out before he did. Next time I waited a while before I flipped out he never do nothing same-way. When I ask to be treated better I get trampled with the whole life isn’t like a movie and all that. When I speak about something that’s bothering me instead of trying to comfort me all he’s been doing is giving me excuses Or telling me why he couldn’t like do what I wanted him to do but he doesn’t ask how he can fix it or even make suggestions to say going forward he’ll do better I get nothing. There’s a lot going on it’s not a case where he is like a cheater well to my knowledge I believe we’re past that whole thing. However, other things are affecting us and each time we go off it’s honestly affecting me. I love this guy and I thinks that’s he loves me. I just want to know it this normal for couples to have such rough patches or if I should leave. I’ve changed so much for him, I and totally with him and him alone. I honestly saw a future with him but right now as he is I’m not sure. He can be super rude like shout and call me names and all I spoke to him made him know that it’s unacceptable for him to deal with me like that for I’ll leave. I’ve seen changes there but I still see no effort. I’m tired of doing everything I’m a girl like we like little gestures too I hate to spell out everything then When I do spell it out I get shut down anyways it makes me feel stupid so I legit stop expressing my hurt and I don’t think that’s healthy. I find myself pushing things under the rug for I’m trying to prevent an argument cause everything turns into one. He’s a good guy believe me but when we have bad times it’s awful and that’s what I can’t manage. Last night I asked him if going forward if he’ll be making adjustments to do better this guy told me he’ll try so I told him I cannot sigh up for that. It’s either he’s in or he’s out and we argued more he did the normal like try to bring up old issues and all which I had to let him know that we’re focusing on this and this alone like I need a yes or no and all now him nu change it knowing that I was going to leave. Should I let it rest for real or should I try? Is this normal in a relationship? Please do not bash me I honestly just need advise.
I know who this is. Jesus christ from calvary i bet 50 us dollars i know who the hell sent in this saga. If im wrong im wrong if im right : shavon. You doing too much and trying too f ing hard. Even if he did want you at some point (set urself up much? Y u go married the boy?) U definitely drove him away cuz ur a f ing psycho. You have no self esteem which is what men really find sexy. All you know how to do is waste money on dear makeup to draw on your fat face and junk food to feed it. You need to move out of your mothers house. You need to take care of your body. You need to take up a book and read something and learn something. You need to focus on you and build up your character and stop run down young bwoy wey nah fart pon yuh. Thats why him lose the little interest cah nuttn nuh interesting bout u just up under his balls wondering why he not singing back your praises girl good night. Go back to school.
Actions speak louder than words. Ghost him and don’t look back.
Blessings to all for 2019.
Sister, your relationship has lost its steam. It happens.
It can come back, but rarely does. At times you can’t change a person or force them to. Relationships work best when the two people are moving in the same direction.
I’ve been with ladies like you before – we men behave this way for many reasons. It may be money, loss of interest etc, or several other reasons why your man is in “Chill Out Only” mode.
Remember also that most of us as younger men enter relationships for companionship and sex. After you get the girl, we are quite content with just chilling out at home.
But if you need more you should go look it and stop pressuring the dude for something you may never get.
Good miss yuh fraid fi go fuck pan di naaaa put een nuh effort boy? Yuh fraid? Next man tuh yuh pumpum girl nuh stress ova nuttin fi 2019 you.
Don’t leave yet try to talk to him one more time if it’s the same just move on….but this time don’t just say it do it. Women are naturally made to take more but not too much where its going to drain ur energy ok… Good luck.
Matta fact nuh tek nuh advice from me cause as dem slip dem slide and drop an mi nuh pick dem up back.
He is stuck in his ways and will not change. If you have enough patience to stick around to see if with growth and maturity he will eventually see the light? Then by all means stick it out.
You didn’t mention if you play any part in this lackluster relationship. People bring baggage to relationships and if they haven’t healed from their past you will have an uphill battle. Are you belittling him? Did he express things he didn’t like about things you do and because you refuse to compromise he refuses also?
I can tell you from experience, if he is not a straight up @ss? If he is not using you? He might be going through some kind of depression. And if he was once in love and got his heart broken he may have decided to close off his emotions.
There are so many things that may be going on here, one letter have not really shed all light on your situation. Just be careful of staying in a situation that may have already reached it’s end. Maybe he is just not into you, maybe he is in this situation until the person he really desires comes along. You allow people to treat you the way they do. If he has gotten away with it in the past he will keep doing it.
You sincerely don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. Be your own happy space. Do not depend on him or anyone else to create that happiness in your life. Only you alone know when you have reached your breaking point.
I wish you the best!
I’ve been in a similar situation before, as in as I read this, I could almost nod my head word for word.
I have friends that could also say the same.
I know myself, the friends I speak of and the sender are not fully representative of all relationships worldwide- obviously-but I honestly think that a lot of men are just built like that.
This is not the easiest thing to admit, but I do so because I do not want the sender to feel as if she is the only one that has been through/ is going through that situation; things can feel ten times worse when that is the case.
I don’t know whether to tell you to stay or go, but believe that God will push you in the right direction eventually.Whether it is you or him that has made the cutting decision, trust that it is God that made that happen for your own sake.
The guy is a narcissistic a–hole don’t waste your time. Move on already find someone who really cares and puts in the effort.