No the mother is not wrong why should the other 2 wake up and watch 1 pull Christmas gifts. On the other hand the mother knows Christmas around the corner she suppose to make sure the other kids are good not depend on 1 kids money. G.m met
This is a man that never accepted the woman other kids but why he upset after he knows what he was getting a ready made family. Look how much woman single out there with no kids
The person you are responding to is just jumping to conclusion, so your question is very much to the point. My guess is what would happen if the father had brought the Christmas gift for his child and sent it to the mother. Would she not give the gift to the father’s child?
I do agree that the “fair thing to so is to use the money to purchase gits for all three children…so, the mother is not wrong!
The question is still stupid because he should have bought the gift if didnt want her to spend the money on the other kids. You could go to Timbuktu and back, no mother would spend the money in one child and if all the fathera had given her $1000 each, she would have split it just the same.
No she’s not At the end of the day all 3 kids are hers whether or not 2 of the daddies are not in their kids lives. As a mother myself I cannot and will not go shopping for one of my boys and not the other even though they’re the same dad. If I can only afford to buy one then I buy none, none of my kids will have more than the other so good job mommy.
No, there may be times that this Mother had to share funds amongst all three children when this Father may have also fell short. It was a judgment call for the greater good of all 3 children as long as that child was granted it’s needs on Christmas, I am sure Mom will make up for it some time later of the 18 years she is responsible for the child’s care.
Christmas……the least day you want to be selfish, have a heart…it’s children for God sakes!
All three kids are special regardless of not gettn support for two, every parents must treat each child equally :2thumbup go seek a job now and support the 2 kids:maafaganwati they r ur responsibility not the man’s
No the mother was not wrong. If he wanted to spend the whole $500 on his kid then he should have done that himself instead of giving the money to the mother. Which mother in her right mind would spend money on just one child and leave the others with out.. Only a wicked woman would do that to her children. $500 is a lot to spend on one child. Only a wicked and selfish man would want a woman to be that cruel to her other children, just because they dont have…The man knew he would feel away to buy the gifts and bring come and give his one child knowing there are other kids in the house and thats why he gave her the money to do it..Respect to the Mother, love your children equally..
How you mean? If he was a real man he would have told her get all 3 children gifts…..instead he’s mad she did just that. Money for one is money for all once its being put to good use. How it look 1 get gifts and the others get nothing? Only A bitch mother would spend it only on that child because its from his father.parents like that raising their children wrong(oh experienced it too in my household as a child, bitches will do anything for man smh)
I have 3 children .The first two have the same father which isn’t supportive.The last one father is. He gives me $1,000 monthly for his child .i take that money and save some and spend the rest on ALL 3! That’s what mothers do …I love all three equally and if it was the other way around where the first two father gave money and the last one didn’t I would do it the same way.
Every women will say no n I agree with every mother that no she nuh wrong cuz yall thinking as mothers. It’s a maternal basic instinct to be nurturing n protective to all so I get it.
I speak as a father n as a father I would be pissed.we work hard n make sacrifices so our kids can have stuff were deprived of growing up. How can it be a good thing to deprive my yute of something that cost $500 because ur deadbeats babyfathers not picking up unno slack?why should my child suffer?
What in the world can a “child” want for $500? This the reason children steal they materialist like their parents so when they can’t get they steal, rob , cheat and kill smh ….not everything a child want they should get, what if she used that money to pay bills instead then what?
the idea of teaching that child to be kind is more important than a gift he will forget few days later. this the reason we living in a selfish world everyone thinking of themselves…..yes all fathers as well as mothers should play a vital role in their childrens lives but its not like that unless people change their mimdset…..selfish parents bring selfish kids who end up being deadbeat dads as well because as they were raised to think of themselves
I always hear n read dem sey the road to hell is paved with good intentions. ..seet rt here. I would be sooo pissed but I would quickly forgive her cuz she meant well. I would tell her why she’s wrong too..in that …
It is full time women stop breed up breed up fi some fk boys n leavin themselves in situations where they can’t even provide for one much less multiple kids!why are u having unprotected sex when you or the potential disease riddled daddy won’t be able to support a child? So from morning she wrong fi not being independent to can provide for her own.
Then u want come pressure my pocket and get me fi rectify n pick up ur carelessness? Kmft u know how hard mi haffi work fi mine smh?
Smh…… Suppose the daddy die like in my case then what? You think how you think is how life work? What about divorced parents oh no those dads don’t become deadbeats either. Think before you talk. That dad out of anger for her not spending the money only on his child too can become a deadbeat
The man has the right to tell the mother to spend his money on his child only. He might not be a nice person but he has no responsibility for the other kids. She could buy the presents from her own money. If she cannot afford that she better think before she put more children with different fathers into this world.
No she’s not! And I commend her for being a real mother and not singling out one child as being extra special because that child father giving her money!
I’ve seen too many times where misters treat there other children like crap because their fathers aren’t giving them anything!
As for the man, especially given that the money was for presents should hav said buy some presents for the kids and not just his. But then again it takes a real man/woman to fully accept other children that their baby mother/father have whether it was before or after the child/children they had with them.
Yes. She’s wrong for spending the money on gifts for all 3 children because that wasn’t the agreement! It’s deceiving to accept money under the guise of doing one thing then turn around and do something else with it. At the end of the day, it wasn’t her money. If she wasn’t comfortable with spending the money as instructed she should’ve given it back to the him. Let him buy the gifts himself.
In the long term, the mother is not wrong, because there is going to be jealousy between the siblings and they need each other. Let them all advance together.
Father of the child please go back to the drawing board and rethink what you doing, which mother is only going to buy for one child and leave out the rest, plus don’t your child need the love and affection of their other siblings , help to bring unity not division.
its not the children’s fault that their father/s are not helping if that is the case.
I am a woman as well and would split the money with all my kids as well.
@Yardielovethug I agree with you. :thumbup
I had a friend that breed for a man…she knew damn well… di man lived at home with his family. Dat neva tap har fram breed fi him. Den she guh have next pickney fi smaddy else. She stressed the second baby daddy so much and he was more than doing his job financially and was always there to support his child. Di first baby fada doesn’t give her anything caz he’s undocumented plus nuh have nuh job suh shi cyaa get child support. Can u believe she was still low key sleeping wid the dead beat and treating the one that does his job Like crap? She was very disrespectful to him no matter how he approached her.
I think each situation is different and things are not always cut and dry but YUP sum ah dem woman yah need to make smarter decisions as it relates to men they lay with. :travel
I don’t think any of them are wrong however the woman is responsible to treat all equally regardless. So she should have made provisions for the other two.
No it is not a man job to pickup where a NXT deadbeat left off to the man that do stepup n play a roll the careless sperm donor not doing tip my hat off to u but let’s be fair n honest ppl most of these single mothers with multiple children by multiple fathers is to be blamed
The man may not like it – but as a mom.. youre going to want to treat your children equally. My brothers have a different father from me. When younger, my dad provided for me and my mom would split the money on all of us. even as a young girl I understood. I watched my brothers cry far too many times bc their father was not around so when my dad gave – I was happy to see it split among us all. My father was a great man – he never questioned it.. in fact hed give extra bc he knew thats what my mom needed/intended to do. cant have one at the table hungry while at the other end, one is having a feast
I agree yardythug! If the mother was independent she would never have to make this decision but clearly she only depending on that $500 suh that one child will always be short of what the father thinks they should really be getting. Worse if that father never signed up to take care of no man’s child. I think he should take his child or buy the stuff for his kids instead of giving her money.
If he want the money spend on his kid alone him should a do it himself…He gave the money to the mother that mean it’s hers to spend…Any man naaw not taking care of dem kid’s a nu MAN…The father that gave her the money should be proud bcuz he was the other 2 kid’s Santa n that’s all that matters..kid’s should be happy bcuz they never ask to be here..we brought them here
Of course she wrong. Whatever the man gives it should be for his child, then if the other fathers not supporting the other ones she do that out of her own money, but we know that is not how it will go.
Firse ting di man wrong fi put $500 eena di woman han inna di Krismuss. If she so bruk dat she have to use his money buy gifts for her other kids, some a dat $500 a do hair and nails and two outfit fi har guh a road. Yu wrong desso mi bredda!!
Now pon di next han, Krismuss is about the kids suh if your pickney live wid him two bredda and yu want to deck out your pickney yu haffi budget in two more gifts. They are still your son’s siblings. Suh if yu budget are $500 den yu bruk it dung 100-100-300 simple.
Nuh vex when yu nuh hangle di situation karrek.
Well said! That is why some men will tell you that they will pick any woman with kids. I’m one of those men. They are so many women out there, why burden yourself with other people’s responsibilities.
I guess I’m not a real man,so I work hard don’t go to party the next baby father party,smoke weed all day so him never have money to take care of his kid now thats my job hell f**king NO.
Nuff respect to those who disagree with me. Maximum respect to those who agree with me…cuz we all know n is not too often. .sighh. Anywayzee it’s the principle of the thing n I’m confident that more people will see that the mother wrong than those who saying she ain’t.
I stand firmer than the rock of Gibraltar on this issue because I KNOW what I’m talking about 1st hand. For all who saying she nuh wrong. ..consider this.
A man give his babymadda the school fee fi pay for their yute.She use it pay her rent so the landlord nuh put out she n the yute . Now that child is denied the basic right to an education. U see where I’m going, it’s the principle don’t it?
Tell me now if that mother nuh wrong cuz the yute deh home and nah go school! !
Or what if the mother had to pay child support and to the father and he in return used the money she has to pay to buy gifts for his other kids….mi know all who inna agreement would chaw iron and sey him wuthless don’t. It kinda a hard still because if he had bought the gift himself where would the mother have gotten money to buy the other two gifts.
@Yardielove- forget that you are an adult, can you put yourself as one of those kids and how would you feel if your sibling got a big gift on Christmas morning and there was nothing or only a small gift for you. would you not start to resent your sibling, and what do you think will happen in the long run, what kind of relationship do you think you would have.
Some of you men act like you never had a stepfather or someone else step up to the plate for you. its no wonder this generation stay the way they do..some a unno heart colder than Alaska.
Maybe if some of the men were actually in the home or with the mother of their child then this wouldnt be an issue at all.
She isn’t wrong but I do understand why the father would be upset. This is why as mothers we must try our best to limit the multiple baby father thing.
Look, people make mistakes, the point in life is to learn from them. So ok, lets say she had has other deadbeat baydaddy’s should she continue in the mistake and treat her kids like crap? Are we saying that she cant seek to rectify a situation that went bad? And all the men talking bout is your child and you spend what you want on them and all that, be careful, the seeds you sow today will be the ones you reap tomorrow, kids grow hate a envy over things they dont understand and years later the end up killing siblings for no reason. The mother did the right thing, never never ever allow one kid to feel left out or the other to feel special, these are the things that breed hatred.
Me have to take the side of the mother cuz she did the right thing..when it comes to children we must always do right by them..Again the next man dem don’t love their child…I can understand the point of everone who don’t see it fit for the mother to use the money for all her kid’s but we must remember that we all was a kid a nuff a wi sleep pan di floor cuz step father seh a fi him kid mus sleep on the bed..if she did tek the money n spend it on her man n buy him Christmas present instead of the kid’s I would be the first to put led inna har head
Ok so bredda Max we meet again. ..let’s settle this like the gentlemen of old.I challenge u sir to a duel!10 paces like in the wild wild west, is not who draw first but is who fa shots connect.
Landlady a invite you fi rent her property but the previous tenant run up the jps meter bill.How is it right you must pay the arrears?yuh nuh suppose to responce fi ur own light bill?Max unno won’t win this one,the mother wrang wrang a million%.we defending the principle the thing which won’t change no matter who or what involved.
Either way you lose if you give her the money she will spend it how ever she want sometime no kid get a gift an another man get your money .. If you buy the gift it will share among all the kids once you give it to your child to go home … If you really want it to be a gift for only your child buy it an keep it at your house so when your kid come over like he should be doing he can enjoy his gift
AFTA ANNO DI MAN PICKNEY DEM…thats the last Christmas money she would ever get if a me like the dad. She have 12 months fi save fi di odda two OR she put the 500 in a savings account for the child…..This is why some men refuse to pay chid support…
Lolol, Me agree wid all who say the mother wrong. If she did pinch $100 fi de next 2 I doubt the man would care, but it look like she spend it pon de next two more than the man pickney.
If him did give $100 a so she would a share it? Where was HER christmas funds fi spend if she never got the $500?
I see this issue through 2 lenses. As a mother in her case with 3 kids and only one supporting father, I probably would have done the same. Despite the fact the money came from one of the kids fathers. They are kids, how can u buy gift for one and not the other 2? But from the dads perspective I can see how he could be pissed because he made provisions for his child. It’s sad. We women must make better choices but shit happens @times.
That man is selfish. At the end of the day that’s your child siblings. If you give her money for food and thats all she has, are the others not supposed to eat? Not say shes to depend on you but we know how hard it is for a single mom. Sometimes 2-3 jobs and ends still dont meet.
Why does she not have money of her own to buy the other kids Christmas presents? Which woman in these times is going to depend on a man 100% for her and her entire children survival? What if the man who a pay him support dead, all a dem going to starve and live on the streets? Me love fi live at a certain standard, so sorry, mi could never put me and my kids survival inna no man, worse not even a husband suh even if him dead mi can get summen, even di workplace insurance, just a baby daddy and no commitment. Dem oooman yah a ramp wid dem and dem Pickney lives. If me as a woman caan dip in mi pocket and buy gifts for my children on my own me would haffi reevaluate mi life completely. Dem lucky.
On some levels I can understand the mother doing what she did to ensure all her kids are happy etc. but I don’t necessarily agree that its her decision to make when its someone else’s money being used. As a man, I PERSONALLY would have zero issues with her splitting the money a million ways. Add to that the fact that the kids are innocent in all of this nonsense. That said, if she’s going spend the money in a way that was not mutually agreed upon then one should also expect her to be decent enough to be completely transparent before hand. No one knows how much sacrifice the man went through to get the $500 and as such he reserves the right to agree or disagree on how its spent. We could then call him insensitive, cold, heartless etc., but thats still his money and his right. Many who do fail to understand this are often crooked people who will always make decisions in their own self interest, You know- the type that will owe/rob a friend money and hide form them.
Yardie the money was not use to fix her car r pay rent r help her parents…it is said that it was use for the other 2 kid’s n that’s the best thing that money could do at that time of the year let the kid’s feel Christmas…she may be wrong but the kid’s see happiness n that’s all that matters..wen him did inna har pussy n it sweet him mek him neva pull out cuz the other baby daddies was a dead beat n he was just looking a fcuk..man tap di foolishness the only reason we a hear bout this if it’s a fact is bcuz he want some pussy from her n she say no so he useing the money as I was their for u so u should be their for me
It’s funny that anyone would call the man selfish for providing for HIS kid and not hers . I thought selfish meant he only cared about himself so he is FAR from selfish . I’m a man and most woman gonna say she wasn’t WRONG because she wasn’t WRONG forsaking sure HER kids got equally . She is WRONG in part for breeding for waste man she is also WRONG because she knew she ain’t got no help from they daddies and she should have made provisions before the $500 came in . Suppose the $500 never land what was she gonnna do ? Woman u gonna say she would have to find it rite! So she should have looked it from time and don’t depend on the one mans 5 bills . Double standard he is wrong for getting mad over his own money but she ain’t wrong tho for spending it . #pussypention him a pay
:shakehand2 :shakehand2 If this dad is selfish then I would even go as far as to say that the mom is a TEEF!.
I dont see why ppl agree with the mom when the father has no financial obligation to her other children…Let’s say that he went to her home on Christmas day with a bag full of shoes clothes toys or the newest gadgets and gave them to his child….would it be ok for mom to say, “How you bring gifts for child A but not child B and C. Chupppzzzzzzz lady need look a 2nd 3rd or 4th job and tek it up wid di odda bf(s). She too bright and the important question here is…how does child A feel about this???? Child A betta not be a Leo, Aries or Taurus.
Max it seems to me that you and all who saying she not wrong is trying to justify n excuse away something that is glaringly wrong. Ok lets go there then n we will take it to it’s logical conclusion.
A man teef a farmer’s yam so he can feed his starving kids.That father n most of us will do whatever it takes before we mek we family starve don’t it?whappen to the farmer’s family, u know how long n hard it tek fi grow renta yam?
Thus he had an excellent reason to teef but logically the principle of him being wrong doesn’t change no matter the circumstances. Just like the mother then only a good or bad reason why she wrong ought to be debated…not the fact that she wrong!
Much love PP,mi woulda kindly ask you fi teef some yam fi me too yes.I think it was specifically costing 500 n him mad cuz his lil girl nah get it.
PP the thing is I do this ish for a living n can I tell you the amount of time mi hear defendants tell judge. .”guilty with explanation ur honour”
So instead of 6yrs if yuh excuse good u get all 2yrs.The fact that you wrong nuh change so is only why u wrong will be factored in when judgment a pass.But if u a gwaan like u nuh wrang,dem throw the whole book at u oo.
This man should kiss his baby mother. At lease he knows God forbid something happens to him his child will be treated fairly. I always tell my son dad by the gift yourself. It will mean more to our son coming out of your hands vs mines. It’s good that he takes care of his kid but mothers have so much more to think about. She have 3 kids so chances are she have a high rent. Not to mention feeding 3 kids. I have a 5yr old and 3 little cousin 13,11 and 9. When they’re at my house my son dad already know all 4 have to get something if he’s bringing for his son. If not don’t bring anything at all. I believe kids need positive experience with equality. Trust me, sometimes I pack extra snacks for my son classmates if he verbalize that he shared with them and they like it.
You are to be commended. You’re making the most n best of a tough situation. You have highlighted the key to the whole thing. ..communication! You consult n yuh mek ur man know what is what. Your man will work with you then.
Oh but this mother did no such communication, she deceive the yute.Had he known what her sharing plans were prior,he would be an asswipe to then get upset. She clearly did her own thing n deprive the yute daughter so can you blame him for being bringle?
Another thing Max…most of who you see a sey she nuh wrong SUPPORT pusssie selling.They might have varying reasons but they all do . wouldn’t u agree that punny selling is wrong, doesn’t the Bible sey so?
However we understand how the thing set so u have ppl who will condemn whoring out urself fi clothes n boots n hairdos but fully endorse whoring out urself fi house,stocks, 401k!Yet bredda Max regardless of the reason all a we agree selling one’s body is not the ideal way to go through life. The principle of whoring being wrong doesn’t change.
I myself support whoring out urself for survival because if u nah help someone struggle, u really ought not to knock their hustle. U nah give the girl a dollar or food but u a watch her pussie..GTFOH!!
Mi understand how di man feel. Him feel tuh seh di mother deprive him yute ah di whole $500 cause if haffi plit inna three. Mi get weh him ah come from, but mi nuh agree wid him.
Mi understand weh di mother coming from as well. Mi see why she do what she did and mi agree that given the circumstances she made di RIGHT decision.
Mr. Child-Support paying father, I commend you for your monetary (and otherwise) contributions toward your child’s well-being…but try to look at the bigger pitcho. The mother of your child clearly has the tough responsibility of caring for three children, and that includes maintaining harmony within the household. As long as your child is not neglected you actually have more to be thankful for than to complain about. Give thanks dat she ah wrerk miracles wid yuh $500 and nah beg yuh fi more.
Here’s the thing… nuh matta how yuh put it… some people just won’t get it.
Yardielovethug is not saying the mother is wrong for providing for ALL her children. He is simply saying it is wrong as it relates to PRINCIPLE!
I stated in a topic over the weekend that I would choose love over money but mi ano FOOL I would not pick up a waste man wid no ambition who cannot bring anything to the table. Women should put more thought into who they lay with before they Decide to bring children in the situation.
YLT… mi luv yuh reasoning and mi a ooman!!! Not everyone can respect other people’s principles if it is not in line wid fi dem.
Bless your heart dearie,our principles is what defines us.Baby cham had a hit song way back called another level. After all these years the lines that stay with me were…
Mi go foreign n big up mi nationality.mi love the money but mi NAH BOW fi VANITY.
Inna real life mi go farrin n a chillax inna a 5star hotel n a whitey introduced herself and mi start telling her how great Jamaica is n her eyes lit up.Next thing mi know she offered me $1200usd fi eat her shriveled up bologna. It’s been almost 6yrs now n ever so often mi think bout how n what me would’ve spent the money on smh.However my principles won’t allow me to dweet n worse pon white women. ..nope no uh.
Thanks much for seeing this has always been about the principle so mi rest mi case now.bless up n big up everybody.
This is a very good discussion and unfortunately it continues to be an ongoing issue specifically in single parent households. I get it 100% that it’s a matter of principle and I can truly see why the father would be upset. However, based on the situation sometimes the outcome justifies the means even if that means going against principle.
She is WRONG! I get it from a mother’s perspective and that is alrite but once the other kids father(s) nuh dead or handicap she wrong. Say anything unnu waah say but she is wrong esp if she know that father nuh agree to it. It better she tell him straight up say bwoy mi ago split it from the get go but nuff times man have valid reasons why him specify fi him child. We dont know the back story and therein lies the problem. However, she is wrong. If him tek her to court she ago loose grant u that the judge might chide him n say him fi understand but she going to loose. Understand me that mi might nuh agree with it but unnu need fi put unnu self inna the man shoes. Suppose a that always gwaan? Him send money and she split it down the line? Ok fine but Xmas my pickney want a unicorn and a bbc chain armor fi ride inna. Mi work my ass off and find the money and gi you fi buy it and you tek my money split it? U mad tpc nope no way. Better you tell mi straight up say yow mi ago split or me buy it, what ever or even say bwoy things set a way wid the other yute them. While mi nuh obligated I would. The thing about it is that far too many mofo out there a live free at the expense of hard working men. There are things in place for women to hold these men accountable fi dem pickney. Why my child must be the cash cow for the others against MY CONSENT. That is what i find upsetting you going against my consent. I am in no way holding anything against the other kids hell no but I believe some women take the easy way out i.e. rather than hold the other man/men accountable them just work with the father weh a try. It nuh fair
Nuff woman a talk n a say no but these are some of the things why some men dont take care of their kids. Is it right? No tek care a pickney regardless a dem mumma but mi just a show unnu. Another thing is this, I am sure 90% a who a talk bout no she nuh wrong if the shoe deh pon the other foot it wudnt fly one rass. Yea mi say it, if unnu pickney live wid them father n u deh a foreign a send your smalls fi u pickney and him tek it mind him other kids a wudnt nutten pretty so unnu fi stop it.
At the end of the day mi naaw go knock mommy she did what she had to in the situation but she need fi go either step her game up if the other kids father deceased, hold dem accountable if not and/or ask the man if she can, bcuz unnu can stay deh a say she nuh wrong n then the man decide say him ago join the naah mind crew. At that point she on her own completely. I for one do believe in Anna n her calf but nuh come style the thing esp Xmas nuh dweet. Its a big demoralizing factor for a man fi work hard fi give him child wah dem want n then them nuh get it bcuz a what ever. Mi a one bwoy weh if my daughter or sons say dem want a magic carpet, royal purple woven from angel feather n mi carry the money fah try nuh tell mi nutten buy that else a war. If u ago say the money can do supn else mi will gi u money fi the supn else buy that shit n nuh play wid man. Women need fi stop bleve say as mothers unnu alone av say or judge, jury and executioner. Allow men to spoil their kids too it motivates us to work harder when our kids smile bcuz of our work.
I am in a relationship now n have step child n mi nuh see the child different but its a different thing if unnu no longer involved. I would still give money towards the former step child but nuh all and nuh come try hold mi accountable and the child father getting away scotch free that is the meat of the matter. Women always stress the trying man.
No the mother is not wrong why should the other 2 wake up and watch 1 pull Christmas gifts. On the other hand the mother knows Christmas around the corner she suppose to make sure the other kids are good not depend on 1 kids money. G.m met
Si
This is a man that never accepted the woman other kids but why he upset after he knows what he was getting a ready made family. Look how much woman single out there with no kids
How do you know it’s not the first bbyfather?
The person you are responding to is just jumping to conclusion, so your question is very much to the point. My guess is what would happen if the father had brought the Christmas gift for his child and sent it to the mother. Would she not give the gift to the father’s child?
I do agree that the “fair thing to so is to use the money to purchase gits for all three children…so, the mother is not wrong!
The question is still stupid because he should have bought the gift if didnt want her to spend the money on the other kids. You could go to Timbuktu and back, no mother would spend the money in one child and if all the fathera had given her $1000 each, she would have split it just the same.
No she’s not At the end of the day all 3 kids are hers whether or not 2 of the daddies are not in their kids lives. As a mother myself I cannot and will not go shopping for one of my boys and not the other even though they’re the same dad. If I can only afford to buy one then I buy none, none of my kids will have more than the other so good job mommy.
No, there may be times that this Mother had to share funds amongst all three children when this Father may have also fell short. It was a judgment call for the greater good of all 3 children as long as that child was granted it’s needs on Christmas, I am sure Mom will make up for it some time later of the 18 years she is responsible for the child’s care.
Christmas……the least day you want to be selfish, have a heart…it’s children for God sakes!
All three kids are special regardless of not gettn support for two, every parents must treat each child equally :2thumbup go seek a job now and support the 2 kids:maafaganwati they r ur responsibility not the man’s
No the mother was not wrong. If he wanted to spend the whole $500 on his kid then he should have done that himself instead of giving the money to the mother. Which mother in her right mind would spend money on just one child and leave the others with out.. Only a wicked woman would do that to her children. $500 is a lot to spend on one child. Only a wicked and selfish man would want a woman to be that cruel to her other children, just because they dont have…The man knew he would feel away to buy the gifts and bring come and give his one child knowing there are other kids in the house and thats why he gave her the money to do it..Respect to the Mother, love your children equally..
Bitch
How you mean? If he was a real man he would have told her get all 3 children gifts…..instead he’s mad she did just that. Money for one is money for all once its being put to good use. How it look 1 get gifts and the others get nothing? Only A bitch mother would spend it only on that child because its from his father.parents like that raising their children wrong(oh experienced it too in my household as a child, bitches will do anything for man smh)
No she’s not wrong
No..all 3 kids are hers it’s about the kid’s not the man are the money
I have 3 children .The first two have the same father which isn’t supportive.The last one father is. He gives me $1,000 monthly for his child .i take that money and save some and spend the rest on ALL 3! That’s what mothers do …I love all three equally and if it was the other way around where the first two father gave money and the last one didn’t I would do it the same way.
Every women will say no n I agree with every mother that no she nuh wrong cuz yall thinking as mothers. It’s a maternal basic instinct to be nurturing n protective to all so I get it.
I speak as a father n as a father I would be pissed.we work hard n make sacrifices so our kids can have stuff were deprived of growing up. How can it be a good thing to deprive my yute of something that cost $500 because ur deadbeats babyfathers not picking up unno slack?why should my child suffer?
What in the world can a “child” want for $500? This the reason children steal they materialist like their parents so when they can’t get they steal, rob , cheat and kill smh ….not everything a child want they should get, what if she used that money to pay bills instead then what?
the idea of teaching that child to be kind is more important than a gift he will forget few days later. this the reason we living in a selfish world everyone thinking of themselves…..yes all fathers as well as mothers should play a vital role in their childrens lives but its not like that unless people change their mimdset…..selfish parents bring selfish kids who end up being deadbeat dads as well because as they were raised to think of themselves
I always hear n read dem sey the road to hell is paved with good intentions. ..seet rt here. I would be sooo pissed but I would quickly forgive her cuz she meant well. I would tell her why she’s wrong too..in that …
It is full time women stop breed up breed up fi some fk boys n leavin themselves in situations where they can’t even provide for one much less multiple kids!why are u having unprotected sex when you or the potential disease riddled daddy won’t be able to support a child? So from morning she wrong fi not being independent to can provide for her own.
Then u want come pressure my pocket and get me fi rectify n pick up ur carelessness? Kmft u know how hard mi haffi work fi mine smh?
Smh…… Suppose the daddy die like in my case then what? You think how you think is how life work? What about divorced parents oh no those dads don’t become deadbeats either. Think before you talk. That dad out of anger for her not spending the money only on his child too can become a deadbeat
I am sorry about ur father’s death . big up urself straight. Although I don’t agree with you, I take ur valid excellent key points.
The man has the right to tell the mother to spend his money on his child only. He might not be a nice person but he has no responsibility for the other kids. She could buy the presents from her own money. If she cannot afford that she better think before she put more children with different fathers into this world.
No she’s not! And I commend her for being a real mother and not singling out one child as being extra special because that child father giving her money!
I’ve seen too many times where misters treat there other children like crap because their fathers aren’t giving them anything!
As for the man, especially given that the money was for presents should hav said buy some presents for the kids and not just his. But then again it takes a real man/woman to fully accept other children that their baby mother/father have whether it was before or after the child/children they had with them.
Yes. She’s wrong for spending the money on gifts for all 3 children because that wasn’t the agreement! It’s deceiving to accept money under the guise of doing one thing then turn around and do something else with it. At the end of the day, it wasn’t her money. If she wasn’t comfortable with spending the money as instructed she should’ve given it back to the him. Let him buy the gifts himself.
In the long term, the mother is not wrong, because there is going to be jealousy between the siblings and they need each other. Let them all advance together.
Father of the child please go back to the drawing board and rethink what you doing, which mother is only going to buy for one child and leave out the rest, plus don’t your child need the love and affection of their other siblings , help to bring unity not division.
its not the children’s fault that their father/s are not helping if that is the case.
I am a woman as well and would split the money with all my kids as well.
@Yardielovethug I agree with you. :thumbup
I had a friend that breed for a man…she knew damn well… di man lived at home with his family. Dat neva tap har fram breed fi him. Den she guh have next pickney fi smaddy else. She stressed the second baby daddy so much and he was more than doing his job financially and was always there to support his child. Di first baby fada doesn’t give her anything caz he’s undocumented plus nuh have nuh job suh shi cyaa get child support. Can u believe she was still low key sleeping wid the dead beat and treating the one that does his job Like crap? She was very disrespectful to him no matter how he approached her.
I think each situation is different and things are not always cut and dry but YUP sum ah dem woman yah need to make smarter decisions as it relates to men they lay with. :travel
I don’t think any of them are wrong however the woman is responsible to treat all equally regardless. So she should have made provisions for the other two.
No it is not a man job to pickup where a NXT deadbeat left off to the man that do stepup n play a roll the careless sperm donor not doing tip my hat off to u but let’s be fair n honest ppl most of these single mothers with multiple children by multiple fathers is to be blamed
The man may not like it – but as a mom.. youre going to want to treat your children equally. My brothers have a different father from me. When younger, my dad provided for me and my mom would split the money on all of us. even as a young girl I understood. I watched my brothers cry far too many times bc their father was not around so when my dad gave – I was happy to see it split among us all. My father was a great man – he never questioned it.. in fact hed give extra bc he knew thats what my mom needed/intended to do. cant have one at the table hungry while at the other end, one is having a feast
I agree yardythug! If the mother was independent she would never have to make this decision but clearly she only depending on that $500 suh that one child will always be short of what the father thinks they should really be getting. Worse if that father never signed up to take care of no man’s child. I think he should take his child or buy the stuff for his kids instead of giving her money.
If he want the money spend on his kid alone him should a do it himself…He gave the money to the mother that mean it’s hers to spend…Any man naaw not taking care of dem kid’s a nu MAN…The father that gave her the money should be proud bcuz he was the other 2 kid’s Santa n that’s all that matters..kid’s should be happy bcuz they never ask to be here..we brought them here
Of course she wrong. Whatever the man gives it should be for his child, then if the other fathers not supporting the other ones she do that out of her own money, but we know that is not how it will go.
Every man fi own dem responsibility.
Man fi know that if they take up a woman with multiple kids, he may face this type of situation.
Have nuff love for kids, but I nah mind weh another man lef behind.
Youths LEARN FROM THIS – best to pickup a girl with NO BABY DADDY DRAMA, NO BAGGAGE.
Like how di fk could a well thinking man pickup a girl with babies from 2 different daddies LOL.
Firse ting di man wrong fi put $500 eena di woman han inna di Krismuss. If she so bruk dat she have to use his money buy gifts for her other kids, some a dat $500 a do hair and nails and two outfit fi har guh a road. Yu wrong desso mi bredda!!
Now pon di next han, Krismuss is about the kids suh if your pickney live wid him two bredda and yu want to deck out your pickney yu haffi budget in two more gifts. They are still your son’s siblings. Suh if yu budget are $500 den yu bruk it dung 100-100-300 simple.
Nuh vex when yu nuh hangle di situation karrek.
Well said! That is why some men will tell you that they will pick any woman with kids. I’m one of those men. They are so many women out there, why burden yourself with other people’s responsibilities.
I guess I’m not a real man,so I work hard don’t go to party the next baby father party,smoke weed all day so him never have money to take care of his kid now thats my job hell f**king NO.
Nuff respect to those who disagree with me. Maximum respect to those who agree with me…cuz we all know n is not too often. .sighh. Anywayzee it’s the principle of the thing n I’m confident that more people will see that the mother wrong than those who saying she ain’t.
I stand firmer than the rock of Gibraltar on this issue because I KNOW what I’m talking about 1st hand. For all who saying she nuh wrong. ..consider this.
A man give his babymadda the school fee fi pay for their yute.She use it pay her rent so the landlord nuh put out she n the yute . Now that child is denied the basic right to an education. U see where I’m going, it’s the principle don’t it?
Tell me now if that mother nuh wrong cuz the yute deh home and nah go school! !
Or what if the mother had to pay child support and to the father and he in return used the money she has to pay to buy gifts for his other kids….mi know all who inna agreement would chaw iron and sey him wuthless don’t. It kinda a hard still because if he had bought the gift himself where would the mother have gotten money to buy the other two gifts.
@Yardielove- forget that you are an adult, can you put yourself as one of those kids and how would you feel if your sibling got a big gift on Christmas morning and there was nothing or only a small gift for you. would you not start to resent your sibling, and what do you think will happen in the long run, what kind of relationship do you think you would have.
Some of you men act like you never had a stepfather or someone else step up to the plate for you. its no wonder this generation stay the way they do..some a unno heart colder than Alaska.
Maybe if some of the men were actually in the home or with the mother of their child then this wouldnt be an issue at all.
She isn’t wrong but I do understand why the father would be upset. This is why as mothers we must try our best to limit the multiple baby father thing.
Look, people make mistakes, the point in life is to learn from them. So ok, lets say she had has other deadbeat baydaddy’s should she continue in the mistake and treat her kids like crap? Are we saying that she cant seek to rectify a situation that went bad? And all the men talking bout is your child and you spend what you want on them and all that, be careful, the seeds you sow today will be the ones you reap tomorrow, kids grow hate a envy over things they dont understand and years later the end up killing siblings for no reason. The mother did the right thing, never never ever allow one kid to feel left out or the other to feel special, these are the things that breed hatred.
Me have to take the side of the mother cuz she did the right thing..when it comes to children we must always do right by them..Again the next man dem don’t love their child…I can understand the point of everone who don’t see it fit for the mother to use the money for all her kid’s but we must remember that we all was a kid a nuff a wi sleep pan di floor cuz step father seh a fi him kid mus sleep on the bed..if she did tek the money n spend it on her man n buy him Christmas present instead of the kid’s I would be the first to put led inna har head
Ok so bredda Max we meet again. ..let’s settle this like the gentlemen of old.I challenge u sir to a duel!10 paces like in the wild wild west, is not who draw first but is who fa shots connect.
Landlady a invite you fi rent her property but the previous tenant run up the jps meter bill.How is it right you must pay the arrears?yuh nuh suppose to responce fi ur own light bill?Max unno won’t win this one,the mother wrang wrang a million%.we defending the principle the thing which won’t change no matter who or what involved.
Either way you lose if you give her the money she will spend it how ever she want sometime no kid get a gift an another man get your money .. If you buy the gift it will share among all the kids once you give it to your child to go home … If you really want it to be a gift for only your child buy it an keep it at your house so when your kid come over like he should be doing he can enjoy his gift
AFTA ANNO DI MAN PICKNEY DEM…thats the last Christmas money she would ever get if a me like the dad. She have 12 months fi save fi di odda two OR she put the 500 in a savings account for the child…..This is why some men refuse to pay chid support…
Lolol, Me agree wid all who say the mother wrong. If she did pinch $100 fi de next 2 I doubt the man would care, but it look like she spend it pon de next two more than the man pickney.
If him did give $100 a so she would a share it? Where was HER christmas funds fi spend if she never got the $500?
I see this issue through 2 lenses. As a mother in her case with 3 kids and only one supporting father, I probably would have done the same. Despite the fact the money came from one of the kids fathers. They are kids, how can u buy gift for one and not the other 2? But from the dads perspective I can see how he could be pissed because he made provisions for his child. It’s sad. We women must make better choices but shit happens @times.
That man is selfish. At the end of the day that’s your child siblings. If you give her money for food and thats all she has, are the others not supposed to eat? Not say shes to depend on you but we know how hard it is for a single mom. Sometimes 2-3 jobs and ends still dont meet.
Why does she not have money of her own to buy the other kids Christmas presents? Which woman in these times is going to depend on a man 100% for her and her entire children survival? What if the man who a pay him support dead, all a dem going to starve and live on the streets? Me love fi live at a certain standard, so sorry, mi could never put me and my kids survival inna no man, worse not even a husband suh even if him dead mi can get summen, even di workplace insurance, just a baby daddy and no commitment. Dem oooman yah a ramp wid dem and dem Pickney lives. If me as a woman caan dip in mi pocket and buy gifts for my children on my own me would haffi reevaluate mi life completely. Dem lucky.
On some levels I can understand the mother doing what she did to ensure all her kids are happy etc. but I don’t necessarily agree that its her decision to make when its someone else’s money being used. As a man, I PERSONALLY would have zero issues with her splitting the money a million ways. Add to that the fact that the kids are innocent in all of this nonsense. That said, if she’s going spend the money in a way that was not mutually agreed upon then one should also expect her to be decent enough to be completely transparent before hand. No one knows how much sacrifice the man went through to get the $500 and as such he reserves the right to agree or disagree on how its spent. We could then call him insensitive, cold, heartless etc., but thats still his money and his right. Many who do fail to understand this are often crooked people who will always make decisions in their own self interest, You know- the type that will owe/rob a friend money and hide form them.
Yardie the money was not use to fix her car r pay rent r help her parents…it is said that it was use for the other 2 kid’s n that’s the best thing that money could do at that time of the year let the kid’s feel Christmas…she may be wrong but the kid’s see happiness n that’s all that matters..wen him did inna har pussy n it sweet him mek him neva pull out cuz the other baby daddies was a dead beat n he was just looking a fcuk..man tap di foolishness the only reason we a hear bout this if it’s a fact is bcuz he want some pussy from her n she say no so he useing the money as I was their for u so u should be their for me
It’s funny that anyone would call the man selfish for providing for HIS kid and not hers . I thought selfish meant he only cared about himself so he is FAR from selfish . I’m a man and most woman gonna say she wasn’t WRONG because she wasn’t WRONG forsaking sure HER kids got equally . She is WRONG in part for breeding for waste man she is also WRONG because she knew she ain’t got no help from they daddies and she should have made provisions before the $500 came in . Suppose the $500 never land what was she gonnna do ? Woman u gonna say she would have to find it rite! So she should have looked it from time and don’t depend on the one mans 5 bills . Double standard he is wrong for getting mad over his own money but she ain’t wrong tho for spending it . #pussypention him a pay
:shakehand2 :shakehand2 If this dad is selfish then I would even go as far as to say that the mom is a TEEF!.
I dont see why ppl agree with the mom when the father has no financial obligation to her other children…Let’s say that he went to her home on Christmas day with a bag full of shoes clothes toys or the newest gadgets and gave them to his child….would it be ok for mom to say, “How you bring gifts for child A but not child B and C. Chupppzzzzzzz lady need look a 2nd 3rd or 4th job and tek it up wid di odda bf(s). She too bright and the important question here is…how does child A feel about this???? Child A betta not be a Leo, Aries or Taurus.
She’s not wrong but she should have just kept her mouth shut.
Max it seems to me that you and all who saying she not wrong is trying to justify n excuse away something that is glaringly wrong. Ok lets go there then n we will take it to it’s logical conclusion.
A man teef a farmer’s yam so he can feed his starving kids.That father n most of us will do whatever it takes before we mek we family starve don’t it?whappen to the farmer’s family, u know how long n hard it tek fi grow renta yam?
Thus he had an excellent reason to teef but logically the principle of him being wrong doesn’t change no matter the circumstances. Just like the mother then only a good or bad reason why she wrong ought to be debated…not the fact that she wrong!
Me would beg a yam. If farmer deny me a meal or a way of earning the yam me ago tek it cause him being a bitch :ngakak
I think the mother should have asked for a little extra for the other two if she that bruck. Wonder if the $500 was for something specific?
Much love PP,mi woulda kindly ask you fi teef some yam fi me too yes.I think it was specifically costing 500 n him mad cuz his lil girl nah get it.
PP the thing is I do this ish for a living n can I tell you the amount of time mi hear defendants tell judge. .”guilty with explanation ur honour”
So instead of 6yrs if yuh excuse good u get all 2yrs.The fact that you wrong nuh change so is only why u wrong will be factored in when judgment a pass.But if u a gwaan like u nuh wrang,dem throw the whole book at u oo.
:kr :supermaho
This man should kiss his baby mother. At lease he knows God forbid something happens to him his child will be treated fairly. I always tell my son dad by the gift yourself. It will mean more to our son coming out of your hands vs mines. It’s good that he takes care of his kid but mothers have so much more to think about. She have 3 kids so chances are she have a high rent. Not to mention feeding 3 kids. I have a 5yr old and 3 little cousin 13,11 and 9. When they’re at my house my son dad already know all 4 have to get something if he’s bringing for his son. If not don’t bring anything at all. I believe kids need positive experience with equality. Trust me, sometimes I pack extra snacks for my son classmates if he verbalize that he shared with them and they like it.
You are to be commended. You’re making the most n best of a tough situation. You have highlighted the key to the whole thing. ..communication! You consult n yuh mek ur man know what is what. Your man will work with you then.
Oh but this mother did no such communication, she deceive the yute.Had he known what her sharing plans were prior,he would be an asswipe to then get upset. She clearly did her own thing n deprive the yute daughter so can you blame him for being bringle?
Another thing Max…most of who you see a sey she nuh wrong SUPPORT pusssie selling.They might have varying reasons but they all do . wouldn’t u agree that punny selling is wrong, doesn’t the Bible sey so?
However we understand how the thing set so u have ppl who will condemn whoring out urself fi clothes n boots n hairdos but fully endorse whoring out urself fi house,stocks, 401k!Yet bredda Max regardless of the reason all a we agree selling one’s body is not the ideal way to go through life. The principle of whoring being wrong doesn’t change.
I myself support whoring out urself for survival because if u nah help someone struggle, u really ought not to knock their hustle. U nah give the girl a dollar or food but u a watch her pussie..GTFOH!!
Mi understand how di man feel. Him feel tuh seh di mother deprive him yute ah di whole $500 cause if haffi plit inna three. Mi get weh him ah come from, but mi nuh agree wid him.
Mi understand weh di mother coming from as well. Mi see why she do what she did and mi agree that given the circumstances she made di RIGHT decision.
Mr. Child-Support paying father, I commend you for your monetary (and otherwise) contributions toward your child’s well-being…but try to look at the bigger pitcho. The mother of your child clearly has the tough responsibility of caring for three children, and that includes maintaining harmony within the household. As long as your child is not neglected you actually have more to be thankful for than to complain about. Give thanks dat she ah wrerk miracles wid yuh $500 and nah beg yuh fi more.
Here’s the thing… nuh matta how yuh put it… some people just won’t get it.
Yardielovethug is not saying the mother is wrong for providing for ALL her children. He is simply saying it is wrong as it relates to PRINCIPLE!
I stated in a topic over the weekend that I would choose love over money but mi ano FOOL I would not pick up a waste man wid no ambition who cannot bring anything to the table. Women should put more thought into who they lay with before they Decide to bring children in the situation.
YLT… mi luv yuh reasoning and mi a ooman!!! Not everyone can respect other people’s principles if it is not in line wid fi dem.
Bless your heart dearie,our principles is what defines us.Baby cham had a hit song way back called another level. After all these years the lines that stay with me were…
Mi go foreign n big up mi nationality.mi love the money but mi NAH BOW fi VANITY.
Inna real life mi go farrin n a chillax inna a 5star hotel n a whitey introduced herself and mi start telling her how great Jamaica is n her eyes lit up.Next thing mi know she offered me $1200usd fi eat her shriveled up bologna. It’s been almost 6yrs now n ever so often mi think bout how n what me would’ve spent the money on smh.However my principles won’t allow me to dweet n worse pon white women. ..nope no uh.
Thanks much for seeing this has always been about the principle so mi rest mi case now.bless up n big up everybody.
:hi: hello Met!
You’ve been quiet. Hope you’re well.
Hey hey Im good..A little under the weather and busy too but all is well :kiss
MET sound off pon dah one yah please and tonks…feel better btw.
Ok hun, feel better! :medicine:
Being busy is a great thing. Happy Friday to you and ALL Metters! :heart:
This is a very good discussion and unfortunately it continues to be an ongoing issue specifically in single parent households. I get it 100% that it’s a matter of principle and I can truly see why the father would be upset. However, based on the situation sometimes the outcome justifies the means even if that means going against principle.
No she is not
She is WRONG! I get it from a mother’s perspective and that is alrite but once the other kids father(s) nuh dead or handicap she wrong. Say anything unnu waah say but she is wrong esp if she know that father nuh agree to it. It better she tell him straight up say bwoy mi ago split it from the get go but nuff times man have valid reasons why him specify fi him child. We dont know the back story and therein lies the problem. However, she is wrong. If him tek her to court she ago loose grant u that the judge might chide him n say him fi understand but she going to loose. Understand me that mi might nuh agree with it but unnu need fi put unnu self inna the man shoes. Suppose a that always gwaan? Him send money and she split it down the line? Ok fine but Xmas my pickney want a unicorn and a bbc chain armor fi ride inna. Mi work my ass off and find the money and gi you fi buy it and you tek my money split it? U mad tpc nope no way. Better you tell mi straight up say yow mi ago split or me buy it, what ever or even say bwoy things set a way wid the other yute them. While mi nuh obligated I would. The thing about it is that far too many mofo out there a live free at the expense of hard working men. There are things in place for women to hold these men accountable fi dem pickney. Why my child must be the cash cow for the others against MY CONSENT. That is what i find upsetting you going against my consent. I am in no way holding anything against the other kids hell no but I believe some women take the easy way out i.e. rather than hold the other man/men accountable them just work with the father weh a try. It nuh fair
Nuff woman a talk n a say no but these are some of the things why some men dont take care of their kids. Is it right? No tek care a pickney regardless a dem mumma but mi just a show unnu. Another thing is this, I am sure 90% a who a talk bout no she nuh wrong if the shoe deh pon the other foot it wudnt fly one rass. Yea mi say it, if unnu pickney live wid them father n u deh a foreign a send your smalls fi u pickney and him tek it mind him other kids a wudnt nutten pretty so unnu fi stop it.
At the end of the day mi naaw go knock mommy she did what she had to in the situation but she need fi go either step her game up if the other kids father deceased, hold dem accountable if not and/or ask the man if she can, bcuz unnu can stay deh a say she nuh wrong n then the man decide say him ago join the naah mind crew. At that point she on her own completely. I for one do believe in Anna n her calf but nuh come style the thing esp Xmas nuh dweet. Its a big demoralizing factor for a man fi work hard fi give him child wah dem want n then them nuh get it bcuz a what ever. Mi a one bwoy weh if my daughter or sons say dem want a magic carpet, royal purple woven from angel feather n mi carry the money fah try nuh tell mi nutten buy that else a war. If u ago say the money can do supn else mi will gi u money fi the supn else buy that shit n nuh play wid man. Women need fi stop bleve say as mothers unnu alone av say or judge, jury and executioner. Allow men to spoil their kids too it motivates us to work harder when our kids smile bcuz of our work.
I am in a relationship now n have step child n mi nuh see the child different but its a different thing if unnu no longer involved. I would still give money towards the former step child but nuh all and nuh come try hold mi accountable and the child father getting away scotch free that is the meat of the matter. Women always stress the trying man.
Well said Heavy D….same way so.
@HeavyD :repost: :repost: :2thumbup
Dem always a STRESS di trying man and left the deadbeat dem fi live free without stress.