A few weeks ago I saw this on African actor, John Okafor’s page. As men what do you look for when you get involved with women?

John Okafor(Mr Ibu)
The Focus is ” give me money”, “pay my bills”, “take me out”, “let’s go clubbing”, ” my school fees”, “my house rent”, “my siblings need money”, “my mum is sick”, “let’s go on a holiday”, “buy me the latest accessories and gadgets” and in return all that can be paid back is with sex. We need to watch it. My people, we must not continue this way. Its so pathetic, shameful, and disheartening.”


  1. so what more was he expecting?

    i googled u bru, ur lucky ur even getting sex. u better be happy with that before it stops.

    ur money is all that’s interesting about u, and i hope those females are using condoms cuz if not, and they become pregnant……well the cycle continues. :hoax2

    1. Lundun …LMAO……ur right. Him don’t stay good fi true. Most importantly though he’s clearly not meeting the right kinds of women. I read his list and I’m thinking the never wanted a man for any of those things. It’s iparticular type of woman that wants a man for those things. But really he looks a little challenged so ……I’m not sure what he’s expecting

      1. a gwaan like him better dan so so sex…him supposed to glad him a get some because all dat belly pan smaddy back a murder :travel

        1. LOL……….I honestly think he was just looking for something profound to say, but it just make him look more fool fool. So many times mi read tings where the people want to seem much deeper than they are and he just strikes me as one of those. He’s happy for the attention from empty bit$hes cauz smart ones would see through him.

      2. exactly @too much, when u read my other comments, u will see that we are in agreement with what we both picked up from his statement.

        u cyaah go cane field a luk fi corn.

  2. plus a man will go for certain types of females, then expect these females to surprise them.

    if u go after a pretty girl, what do you expect? if u go after a young girl just starting out what do u expect? if u go after a girl in the ghetto who is trying to make life, what do u expect?

    go for a woman who has her own, who is on the same level financially like urself, then the chances of being nagged with financial needs will become less. but nooooo u men are afraid of women who have their own because u know they won’t be submissive and put up with ur bullsh-it. so stop complaining when u are the reason for your lament. kmt

        1. In this new age sex does not carry half the importance it did, say 30 years ago. Me personally, I need a good potential mother to my children and that means she has to be educated, gainfully employed, willing and able to hold us down if WE hit a rough patch financially, be compassionate, have her priorities straight etc…..basically the same exact things I’m willing to offer her.

          1. really?? :ngakak what are the duties of a good potential mother?? I hope dat nuh include washing, cooking , cleaning, taking care of the children+ wadeva u ask because if a so u want har pull more weight dan u

          2. Di way society set up a man waa hold a 9-5 and di woman fi hold di same yet she must leave work, come home, cook, clean, prepare the children for school…mek sure the house a run good, satisfy di man..and di man only come home come sleep after work..now dem waa educated wife plus the above..unno a gwaan really too bad now

          3. so let me ask u this firebrand:

            would u go after a woman who is not on ur level, hoping that one day she will get there on her own without ur help?

            or do u go for the type of woman that fits ur criteria?

          4. met u si when dem talk bout ” u have to be able to offer more than sex” i laugh my ass off.

            why? because if i fit every criteria u have and lata dung di line di pu-ssy bruk dung or naah fling up nice like b4, mi bet mi rass life that nigga will leave my great mothering, educated, financially stable ass for a girl with a poppin va jayjay.

            if him no leff mi, him ago cheat pon mi an all start introduce mi to threesome, but only fu-ck di odda girl an tell di girl fi fu-ck me dwrcl :ngakak

          5. dem a get too bright if dem a look fi more dan sex dem supposed to can f demself den..many of these children now a days if they are raised with both parents still dont have both of them because mommy n daddy working and have no time for the family. I remember when I was about ten mi neighbour used to work sometimes she came in before her husband but I remember one day she come in from work and di man come n come seh him foot a hurt him and request a foot massage wid all hot water from har wid har big belly ina har working clothes…dem man yah too much..The more women give is the more they want and in essence it is pushing back the role of the man into something he isnt genetically made to be…das y nuff a dem tun roun ask dem ooman fi use dildo pan dem..they no longer want to be men but waa bear di title MALE..

        2. I don’t think women are the only ones who are supposed to do house work. Those days are gone and are never coming back. A relationship between a man and a woman is not an exchange of sex (and house work) for financial security. It’s a union in which duties, responsibilities and everything else are shared.

          1. so who gwine do the house work firebrand?? because there is a man mi know him and him wife wuk same place and dem wuk hard and him complain bout not coming home to a cooked meal everyday yet dem wuk till late a night so she fi wuk a full time job and mek sure him meal well prepared…if dem want that kind of life..a woman cannot work full time and run a home..its not that easy

      1. u r clearly not getting the big picture. of course u have pretty, sexy finacially stable intelligent women, whether young or old. but i notice men find these types of women intimidating and shy away from dating them.

        when it comes to men and their speech on women, i laugh, because i tend to notice that they lash out only after getting played, because they thought they were smart.

        many try to use women, so they go for the type of woman who they think they can play smart with. but only a few men are able to figure out that they r the ones actually getting used.

        1. I think that because the role of provider has been taken away from the men , society is now in this mess..Mr Ibu lucky wid him big belly…Africa has a culture where men are expected to provide so why him waa change dat?

          1. powwwwww met, seh dat a again


            afta wi dun sex u, wash u clothes wid u dutty boxers, cook u food and all affi share it out, keep house clean, luk afta pickney and carry wiself well so u no shame a road, weh di rass more u want?????

          2. Mi wudda love fi ask dat …being an efficient mother and wife is a big job some a dem want woman do all a that den turn round and work to pay more than half the bills…dem fi do widout ooman den because dem nah go eva satisfy

      2. Lundun. I would date a woman who is not on my level (and I take it you mean educationally and financially) but I have to see where she is ambitiously working to get to that level. She has to be willing to help me grow as much as I’m willing to help her. If her retirement plan is to live off me and provide me with sex in return, then she is going to be the loser in the long run because there is ALWAYS better sex out there and I’m going to go look for it when I’m tired of her.

        1. How u mean help u grow? U mean grow together??? a whey di …help u grow???? in what way ??????????????..si di woman nah tire of u either or cannot get tired of u?? what a world oo

          1. What are you offering her Firebrand? If you are depending on a woman to help u grow u are coming into the relationship with motherly expectations..so she must be educated, be a good mother and able to help her man grow..and in return what will you give to her???

          2. Read mi comment again met. I said she has to help me grow as much as I’m helping her to do the same.

            Mek mi get something straight, I’m talking from experience. Me and wife have decent jobs and earn a good living based on American standards. We are not rich but we are able to provide comfortably for our child and enjoy nice things for ourselves. But we are only where we are because we worked together.

            When I was in college and I did not have anything, she was able to help me out financially and she did so because she didn’t just see me as a payday but somebody with drive and ambition. We are still working together and we have achieved more TOGETHER in 10 years than any one of us would in 20 years alone. That is just a plain fact in my case. Maybe I’m generalizing based on my experiences but I have to call it how I see and know it.

          3. please dont leave her no time…it was the blessing of God why she was able to help you but not all women would have been in that position payday or not so you should not expect that ….a nuff ooman invest ina man and di man dem figet bout that n visa versa…of course you should be able to achieve and grow as a couple but my thing is that the amount u really expect from woman..it nuh right because you are not looking for a partner

        2. well u are willing to uplift this woman, and for that u get a pass. but sum men act as if a woman should not ask for nothing if she is in need.

  3. It’s so much more than money, guess thats why many lose to the next good hole.
    When you can offer nothing but sex know for certain when the chips are down you can be replaced! :kr

    1. portroyalquena u r so right, “when the chips r down”, but while the chips r up, pus-sy, looks and the physical trumps all.

      not all men r like this, sum men will only date women who are on their level financially thus eliminating the “use me for my money or all u can offer is pu-ssy issue.”

      i am only talking about the men that are complaining because they want a woman that will be able to stroke their ego. its all an ego thing.

        1. met no unno seh quena a yardie, so she did want type port royal but har dyslexia mek she type orico :hammer

          Christopher columbus is r her ancestor so she tink she spanish lol

  4. all unno man need, an should be glad to get it, is sum good pumpum wid a dash a loyalty.

    now fu-ck off wid unno other demands, cuz unno wondering cocky mek we women si seh uno is nuttin but smoke without fire.

  5. it r ongle woman wid nothing but duss an cobweb between dem ays feel man suh shallow. It is a clear indication of self-worth issues, or lack there-of.
    Mi nuh missing Met. Mi pikchur nuh deh pon milk carton. Good afternoon Metters and Peepers.

    1. mi almost put it pan it……… it is shallow of a man to think only of his needs and not the needs of his family or of the couple..men dont want to provide but they want to be catered to and for…it nuh work suh

    1. likkle teely cum here mek a :peluk

      but willy, as harsh as it may sound, i stand firmly behind dat comment.

      an mi ago seh diss widout apology, any oman weh live wid man, an a wuk 9-5 an all a do ova time, affi go 50/50 wid di man financially, clean house, cook, luk offa pickney, wash di man clothes, plus give him sex wheneva him want it IS A BIG RASS CLOWN.

  6. Met yu right….selfishness is never an admirable trait in anyone, but I think you and Lundun are generalizing and using too much of a broad brush.

    1. willie no…every man u buck up a talk bout what ooman bringing to table …all some stay bad one like whey put up dis status yah..dem doe have a table but want someone bring something to what they dont have..that a mi issue..a woman’s role is to nurture and the more society get old a di more that rule is swept out from under a woman’s feet…it will be their demise in the end

      1. The kinds of complaints men make women dont make them
        for some of them u hear dem a seh ;- she can suck my *ick good
        – she dont cook
        -di place dont clean good or enough
        -she dont wash mi clothes
        -di pickney dem hair doe comb good
        -clothes nuh prepared good

        more time all ooman complain bout is MONEY

    1. si met ansa u deh willy

      and add to dat list dem want woman to be superwoman, while dem can only be robin (as in batman an robin di sidekick)

      fi mek di type a demand weh unno want from us women, unno need to be more like ironman.

  7. i hate to be one to tell him, but he is gonna have to pay for it til death cos the girls with money is not going to look at him.

  8. Met….Ooman full a complaints toooooo……please to be fair …LOLOLOL!
    Him bun wata…
    Him nuh help inna di house….
    All him du a siddung watch TV….
    Nat even likkle grosstry di man bring home….
    Him cyaa even turn a screwdriva….
    Nuh fi menshon when woman tun Ambilance…waaa, waaaa, waaaaaaaaa!!!!!

    1. pow po po powwwwww weh simply deh wid di machine!!!!!!

      same so to di tenth powa, den unno cum a gwaan like unno cute bout “it has to be more than sex, u women ofto(lol) bring more to the table.” i ress mi rass case.

  9. Thank you @firebrand . That’s the type of woman I want in my life to build together and grow together . But these women on Jmg all think the same they think women role has change so they don’t have to be a wife , partner , mother , career woman

  10. Despite the push-pull between men and women, the bottom line is we need each other. The realities are more than 72 percent of children in the African-American community are born out of wedlock, 67 percent of African-American children have no contact with their father (or a father figure) and only 40% of African-American children live in married-couple households.

    Reading the comments above, you get the impression that there is a constant struggle by women to define role men should play in a relationship, very little as to what they think their role should be. As I survey the landscape, I see very few black females that are married after age 45. Why is that? is it: all unno man need, an should be glad to get it, is sum good pumpum wid a dash a loyalty. Seems to me women continue to fool themselves about the value of “sum good pumpum”. Frankly, IMHO, sex is 10% physical (the actual pumpum state) and 90% mental (the delivery package -sight and sounds).

  11. Listen I can be a bitch or I can be a man’s dream come thru in every way shape n form if I’m happy, happy meaning keep the money flowing na stress bout when this bill n that bill ago pay, my job is 2cook , clean, take care of the kids n keep mr. Man happy n I’m very educated

  12. I’m from the old school of love n’ relationship….growing up in a household with both parents, 4 kids and grammy, my father was the bread winner for the family. Mother was a master cosmetologist
    ( hairstylist) and my grammy was a retired nurse… My mother and grammy took care of home and all that it entailed, and dad brought home the money for her to pay all the bills and take care of the household except for one bill…mother was responsible for groceries from her earnings, and that was it. I can’t speak for anyone else but myself so lemme just say this….I LOVE being a great mommy, girlfriend, fiancĂ©, and one day, wife…and I DO believe that while a woman should maintain some sort of independence, a man SHOULD provide some sort of financial support for his woman’s needs ( before wants)… Not because he has to, but because he wants to. He wants to support his woman…emotionally, physically and financially. I want ( and have) a well rounded man, and I expect for him to handle certain things without me even having to ask. When you’re in a good relationship you must understand one another and be there to support each other in every way. I don’t want a man that feels like its a burden on him to give me money or do nice things for me. I want my man to do those things for me just because he loves taking care of me. Fe dis man weh a complain bout ooman want dis n’ dat , jus back yuh fist and shut da hell up you disgusting prick!

  13. Women have more power than we think. I have friends who work 9-5 and still have to do all the housework, look after kids, cook and provide sex. Not in my cabinet, I cook today you do it tommorrow, mi wi wash but your hand nuh cripple suh nuh expect mi alone fi do that all the time. I work very hard, guh school and look after my household, but guess what hubby have to do that too. Mi nuh pet and power nuhbody suh sometimes a woman bruk man bad….

  14. Same raas suh @Baby girl. U say it rite!!! buss di glock fi u comment gurl. The burden muss share, afta anuh slave shop we a run. Me hate cook, couldnt careless bout cooking, so fi me man know how dat go. But i will clean from top to battam, 3-4times a week, wash clothes and all, but I AINT COOKING SHIT!!! Man fi learn fi cook to..As a matta a fact, me lubb my own money and me man money to, but me nuh greedy neda. Man fi provide fi dem household, thats the relations me grow come see my parents have and a common law ting, dem neva married. My fada work and mek sure him household proppa.

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