Hi Met,

I’m asking for yours and your readers advice. Simplicity, Phantom, Marie, Simone, Tawkechuet, Little Willie, Latty, Needle, Quena, Original smh, Yardie, Sketel, Muraski(sp), Real, Real Chat, Terri, Anonymous and everyone. I’ll try to make it short, but it may be impossible.

I’m very close to one of my cousins, we’re more like sisters. One year and 4 months ago she was diagnosed with (won’t disclose) and given 6 months to live. With radiation and chemo therapies 3-5 days per week, she’s still alive, thanks to God, prayers and the incredible Drs. She’s been in and out the hospital 17 times in 2016 through now, for surgeries and complications. I’ve never missed any of her Dr visits or hospital stays.
I schedule my vacation before or after her Dr visits. Two weeks ago she was rushed to the hospital after fainting at her parents house. She ended up being there for 10 days. Through all this, she remains positive and strong. She has 5 more treatments to go and then we’ll know where things are.

Here’s the issue:
She’s been with her man for 5 years and he has never visited her not one time out of the 17 times she’s been in the hospital, including 2 weeks ago. NEVER!! His excuse is that he can’t deal with seeing her in the hospital. But yet he flies all over USA to parties using her credit cards for his plane tickets. He’s very selfish and he does not work!! He is a washed up hustler. She’s enabling this bum and not setting an example for her son. He was good to her and once she got sick, he changed.
I’ve spoken to her about the situation and she brushes it off. I think he’s toxic with demons and as long as she stays with him she may not fully heal. I really try to stay out of her personal business, but it’s hard because he’s using her. Her son is away in college (close to home, but stays on campus). He too have spoken to her about him, again she brushes it off. I’m not making any excuses for her, but I’m wondering if she wants the companion because she’s ill. My cousin is such a sweet girl, with a heart of gold and it hurts us to see him taking advantage of her because she’s ill.

My final straw:
This past Friday 3/31, my sister sent me a pic of him hugged up with a chick in the club. I told my sister not to approach them, so she decided to leave.

Here’s where I need advice:
Should my sister and I confront him with the pics in front of her? Should we confront him on our own? Should we show the pics to her parents? Or mind our business? My husband told me to stay out of it.

Thanks everyone,


  1. Stay out of it. Cockroach nuh business inna fowl fight. My guess is your cousin knows her husband and has has chosen to use her energy to fight her bigger battle. Leave it alone sender, only advice you should give her is to protect her legacy and ensure her son is fully protected and designated to main/sole heir.

  2. @Politics I Kno it’s hard to see your family member and somebody that your so close to gets hurt, trust me I’ve been there with one of my own and it sucks just because no matter what you’re trying to tell them they still gonna do them kmt. This bwoy is not a good person in your cousin’s life point blank phucking period he’s a leach and will only stay around because of the freeness that’s bestowed upon him. I wouldn’t confront him in front of my sick cousin God knows she’s already going through a lot , but knowing me I would confront him one on one and let him Kno that we Kno (family) what he’s up to . I pray for a full recovery of your cousin and when she does she can kick that bum out her life for good.

  3. Politics, my prayers are with your cousin and your whole family in their time of need. I wouldn’t say a word to your cousin as she has other things requiring her spirit and attention. On the other hand, you and our sister could let him have a piece of your mind not only the cheating and bad behavior but about not visiting her as it has been some time, but ask yourself is it worth it to shift your focus from your cousins health? My theory is that if it doesn’t add value it’s not worth it.

    1. The family should let him know how they feel. Him will go back go tell her… that would show say him give no cares about her well being.

  4. before you confront him

    talk to cousin and try to ensure husband is not sole heir , beneficiary on life insurance, house titles, accounts , etc

    then confront him alone

  5. Oh man Politics! I would not discuss this with her. Now is not the time. Funny how we don’t know one another, yet I too am witnessing a older man (74) who is dying from cancer and whose son won’t even so much as phone his dad unless he wants something. The doctor gave him 6 months to live in October but he is still here fighting. It’s such a difficult position to be in, to watch your cousin being mistreated near the end of her life. But say nothing. She knows what he is all about.

    As for that child (boyfriend), if you can freeze her accounts or close them out find a way to do it. I would be working hard behind the scenes to f*ck his shit up and smile in his face while doing so. I would make his life so uncomfortable to the point of paranoia. If she has money, I would do all I can to make sure that that punk ain’t in the will and that she leaves it all to her son. God bless you through this difficult time. :peluk

  6. :selamat Raayyyyyyyy!!!!!! me Latty famous ova yah see mi name big big inna post deh hunnu gwey :ngakak ….mi not even read it yet….but mi like yuh already an yuh ago get di best advice 🙂 :ngakak

  7. Listen me… scrape up di whole family get all some friends tuh an go confront him…. mek him know how much a clock a strike pan fi hunnu watch yea! Mek him know all a wah him a gwan wid an all pan har death bed she have bakkitive an it naw go suh easy widout a fight cause him wrong. inna times a need like dis all di bed side him fi a asleep… di doctors supposed to a run him fi go home go get all likkle rest an eat food how much him shoulda dehdeh. Him sound like A wah looooooou man doe….yuh sista shoulda go ova weh him deh hug up wid di ooman an just mek di gal know him wife near death an a dis him deh a road a gwan wid an she betta mek sure she naw dead cause a same ting him ago do har. Oh an sorry to hear

    1. I like this plan…gather up the family and put him to shame. What a horrible thing to take advantage of the woman while she fighting for her life.

  8. You know Politics, I was thinking more about this and you know say the child’s behaviour isn’t a surprise. Most men are incapable of being supportive when their other half is terminally ill. I’m guessing it’s because they are not nurturers. Cancer has ended many relationship. Instead of dealing with it, they find comfort in the arms of another. By the time the wife passes, some men remarry in no time. There maybe some truth to him saying that he cant see her like that. BUT he still a coward p*ssy bwoy who needs to be cut off financially and go look a 9 to 5 in shipping and receiving. I don’t like a user and for that reason alone I would f*ck his shit right up.

  9. It must be hurting her that he did not visit her not even once – wat a drancrow – sender left him up to time him going to get what coming to him. I would not even confront him idah waste of energy – I would not bring it up to her either – but rather focus on her and her getting as well as can be- rally up you family and you all continue to love and care for her- mek she realize that that drancrow is nothing but a bummmm… she knows what is up sender, but think she is focusing on getting better – so help her to do that, left dah droncrow to time, kmt.
    My prayers are with her and your family –

    P.S I would just get her to sign over power of attorney to one of us and lock off all a di credit cyard dem from him, mek him guh wuk and mine him dutty habit. Ole crufff

  10. Confront him one away, show him the pictures, so him can’t say it’s a lie, let him know straight up how you guys feel about the way he takes advantage of your sick relative, especially about the fact of him not visiting her, while she needs him the most, make sure you go with some male relatives too, and tek back the credit card, cause fi him free traveling just get banned, and under no circumstances let her know, as her recovery means more than what he is doing to her right now, pray that she recovers 100 % don’t tell her anything, cause this will make an already bad situation worse.

  11. Good day, Sender. I can sense your frustration. Fist off, find out if any life insurance exist because the way him a mive him should have gone already. She need be convince into having you as power of attorney, for all matters, so unu can stop that wretch from accessing her accounts.

    He is no sort of companion if him not involve in her medical events! You guys should find aeay fi run him away before she catch on…

  12. :ngakaks :ngakaks lol mi just find dah emoji yah mi neva use it b4 lol it can use it fi small hood men weh drop ova yah dwl…

    senda bigs up yuh self doe mi excited like seh a mi birthday mi name inn post who bex lol :ngakak ….a good… hunnu fi comment more suh hunnu name can go inna post tuh hey! :ngakak right yah now mi need wah bigga space fi mi name yah man cause mi ago add famous tuh it yah now.

  13. Your cousin is in the fight of her life. She needs the strength of family at this time. Do not burden her soul with Missa Wukliss and please do not follow Latty bout confronting the man. I’ll bet $100 the first person to hear about the altercation will be your sick cousin and he will be the one telling her.
    Report the cards stolen.

  14. Confront him in front of your cousin. She is sick not stupid. Don’t you think she knows what’s up? Maybe she wants someone to say something. Plant a seed of doubt in her mind so at least if she passes, you know that you did everything you could to secure her money and perhaps save a little face. Sender, cuss him dag rotten. Round up every one as Latty stated and move to him. *Latty diss yu first comment mek mi laugh.

  15. Sender, I replied earlier, but it didn’t take. First, I would find out if a lifr insurance exist as to why this creep is hanging around. If him can’t be theor for her medical events then him need to GO.

    Next, you should convince her to give you power of attorney (see if you can share it with the son) to cut off the waste man spending.

    She entitled to go through this life event without robbing herself of an honest relationship. YOU HAVE ALRIGHTS TO INTERVINE! And she need to consider the memory she’ll leave her son with. Although I wish her the best we cannot skate over the probability…

    Stay kind hearted :kiss

  16. My prayers with you and your family. Been down the road so I can attest that its not easy for us men to see our love ones in such state. However, the mere fact he hasnt been there once is a red flag yea. He might be writing her off as dead and trying to play it off with other women n what not but if you truly love her u will support her thru thick n thin. When my dearest family member was by UWI i went a couple times and only with other family members bcuz I cudnt deal with it. I did however stay whatsapping and calling right thru n when mi say right thru mi mean mi know when the doc come, when him gone, when she ago bath everything.

    As to how u deal with it? Leave him be and concentrate on her. As everybody say help her get her shit in order just in case the worst happen. Its hard to talk abt but its a necessary discussion take the emotions out n get it done for the sake of the child and her hard work. Don’t discuss his behavior or him just tell her him a big man n can tek care of himself sort out sonny.

    Unnu ensure unnu follow up with these docs and research the treatments as cancer is a money making thing. Try to keep her body as alkaline as possible, no stress and trust me she can win. Wish someone had told me that when my family was going thru the rounds. I wear my pink ribbon proudly.

  17. true marie sickness of a close family tear u down there a re case the caregiver dead lef the sick, a man mother died of breast cancer, (mi kaka a woman met him she had same problem see yah, she go tell him thinking he would be so so sympathetic….mi say him disappear to rass, that does not give the above to be flying and spending the way he does

  18. Thank you EVERYONE!! God knows that I love you all nah lie :peluk. I’m here crying because my heart is full of love, hurt and frustration. My cousin is my heart enuh. She’s the nicest, sweetest, loving, caring Mom and family member. I love her son as if he’s my own. I spoke to her mom and told her to get POA asap and take control of her credit cards and finances. Family meeting planned for tomorrow where everybody aguh see the pics and decide how we are going to step to the puxxy. I’ll keep you guys posted on what’s going on and please pray for her, she’s very sick today. I love all of you my extended family. I know I could count on you all for your honest advice.
    @Latty you mek me laugh while tears were streaming down my face.
    @Met thanks for making this post happen!
    God bless you all!

    1. Stay strong. I whispered well wishes for her, you amd her son
      May the creator and ancestors walk with you all :kiss

  19. I would confront him cause a lot of times when ppl are sick it affects their reasoning n emotions he needs to know ur on to his bull—-
    I pray for her healing may God the great physician do his work and bring about a miracle in her life.

  20. If her son is in college he should be around 21 .if he is mature and up to it let him be power of attorney.I am sure this angers him.too along with his mom illness.

    1. He cannot get full POA. For one, he’s in school and not able to take time off for doctors appointments, or issues that occurs during business days and hours.

      Morning Politics :kiss hope you and your cousin are doing well this day

  21. As a nurse i can tell u dat the stress will kill her faster dan d sickness , but i would confront him and find ways to lock down d cards etc

  22. Helli, how is your family dynamics now a days, cousin ok?

    Btw, this post popped up…for a reason.

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