Good Morning Met

I just saw this on Gleaner’s website and I am just saddened by the news. I am not sure what drove her to this end, but hopelessness, depression and mental illness (not saying she specifically had any of those issues) are very real in the Jamaican society. I wish I had the money sometimes to provide free mental health services to my people. This just saddens me today. :-(. Please post and see if your readers may have may insight and hopefully discuss the signs of someone who may be at the brink of such a tragic end and provide the support to avert the same.


St Andrew woman commits suicide

An upper St Andrew woman has reportedly committed suicide.

The woman, Anna Kaye Lazarus, reportedly hanged herself this evening at her Jacks Hill home.

It is reported that her father found her hanging in a room at the house.

She was the mother of two boys and operated Pineapples and Onions catering service.


Anna Kay Lazarus was in for a rude awakening when she returned from culinary studies in Toronto. Armed with a diploma in food and beverage management from George Brown College and a bachelor of applied arts degree in hospitality and tourism management from Ryerson Polytechnic University, she got several interviews with Kingston hotels for a job. The prognosis was not promising from the interviews. “The salary they were offering me could just about have paid to put gas in my car for the week,” she recalled. It was then that Lazarus decided to venture into the catering business, with a helping hand and financial assistance from her father. That was 1994; now, 17 years later, Lazarus recently formalised a company — branding it Pineapples & Onions — bringing her uniquely inspired, fantastically flavourful creations to ever-appreciative clients. Labelling her culinary offerings as stylish and exquisite, Lazarus, widely acknowledged for her decadent desserts, remains passionate about food, but it’s not what she considers her finest accomplishment. “I would have to say raising my two awesome children, Todd and Zach, is what I’m most proud of, and I don’t say this because they are mine, but because they are both amazing human beings each with their own unique personality,” the proud mother said.

Entertain guests with Lazarus’s oh-so-fab meals. Call her at 995-4840 or email [email protected]


  1. Wow, so sad! And she had the means to to get money………..

    It rough down deh! orry she just couldn’t battle it out or her kids tho! My condolences goes out to her her family

  2. Very sad indeed, but if she was doing well financially there must have been other issues that caused her to go this far…how old were her kids…could have been post partum depression.

    1. Been there…money and the things you can procure from money doesn’t bring happiness. Depression is strong.

      It is true that a kind word can go far and the same for a bad word. Sometimes when you have problems and you seek a remedy and it doesn’t pan out it seems like the end all. I’ve learned to not hold in nothing regardless how anyone want to interpret it.

  3. Unfortunately a suh it guh a yawd an fi har death naw change a ting. We juss see owa loved ones a act a way n label dem “mad” den it get wors til dem enn up a street a roam a juss life an it sad

  4. Slit her wrists too, and then hung herself. That is sooo sad. Which se fought it for her kids said though, n she was into her boys too

  5. I can say this from experience n I don’t share this wit a lot of ppl but I suffer from depression it’s a disease that’s in my family n a lot of times get overlooked IT IS NOT EASY
    They say it affect ur mind but believe me u feel physical pain also it’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have the problem but it rough bad I feel so sorry for her family the poor children n sometimes the smallest memory or incident can throw so far it takes u weeks r more to get over it.
    May she rest in peace

    1. You’ll be arite Chuetty. When mi lose mi baby bwoy some years ago meen swear needa guh mad tuh basket case. Depression is shoved under the rug and kept as a hush hush disease cause ah people ah dem pride..

      1. Yep I’m sorry to hear about ur son but Thank God I know God n know now that no matter what the problem is he’s greater than it . :peluk :peluk :peluk

        1. Fi real man. we may think we have it hard and trust me God gives us nohing that we can’t bare. We can’t judge her still cause we don’t know what drew her to that edge. As sinful as i believe it is i feel srry for her knowing that she didn’t trust God enough to let him handle whatever it was that was riding her.

      1. Truth Yuh a talk Metsy. There are times I just feel so down and sad to the point my whole body starts to ache. Last time it tek mi I was in the subway and I swear I wanted to just jump on the train tracks, the way how I felt sad and burdened. But mi just tek two deep breaths and rebuke that spirit.

        1. Yes it is hard and most people think people who kill themself rationalize their thoughts and its not like that…usually someone thinks about it a lot but in the end its one sudden move. Depression is like a big heavy cloak whey heavy and dark at the same time and there is no space or room for anyone but you..

          1. You got it! “no space or room for anyone but you”….that’s is exactly where it takes you.

          2. Really Metty? Not been the thought of the loved ones that’ll be devastated at their passing… That won’t stop them from committing suicide?????

          3. Yep usually it nuh get to dat fi most a dem.. and if there is a suicide note it was written way before the actual suicide

          4. the worst thing about depression is that when you try to talk to someone they don’t emphasize with you and try to understand. most cases they tell you ‘you’ll get over it’…..its not an easy road, I think there should be a program in Jamaica that allows individuals a platform to speak and bond with similar people.

          5. That is true , many people are short of listeners..people love set dem own healing time fi people

    2. Chuet, noise and crowd are my biggest triggers. I’ve learn to identify things that triggers my depression along with what irritates me because i find both are relative. Do you know your triggers?

        1. Noise to a certain degree makes me irritable and being in crowds makes me irritable. Once i get into that mode I retreat into myself and from there I start to go into single details of what I don’t like about myself, what could be fixed…perfectionist mode and from there I will sleep fi days and don’t want no body talking to me. Depression varies.

          See Chuet mention smells. Smells and even songs will pull you into that one instance of something gone and triggers a brief depression.

          1. Met all days mi haffi call out from work lie down inna mi bed mi whole body in pain n I sleep a lot my badness episode I slept for 2 full days I don’t even remember getting up to go the bathroom I most certainly didn’t eat

  6. Phantom, I have also suffered from Depression several years ago after my son passed on. Depression affects all walks of humanity and economical statutes, and there are no color barriers to it. My condolences to her family for the sadness and heartache that this tragic act has left her family to deal with. I will keep my comments n’ opinions to myself per my views on suicide.

    1. Yep! I see you ask about suicide. I’m going “naked” here to give you my suicide instance. When I contemplated it I was more focus on the world being better without me. I only thought of doing it sleeping so that everyone think I was at peace and me being beautiful upon being found.

      Then came a man within the time that i was weight the burden I was carrying with living and disappointing those close to me…him say “YU MAD?” NO! Whey you don’t see I see….from then we dey and depression has subsided. Me see suicide now as cheating myself of progressing and mean spirited in hurting my mother and siblings and those who would miss me. But, a cannot condem others for doing it because I was lucky for my babes coming along when he did. This lady may not have had that support system or let her feelings known to those who may have given genuine support.


        1. You have some people who really dont have people around them who care. A few years ago I heard about a lady who lost a daughter through suicide , this lady was like 71 and had to bury her child , her daughter had two daughters who were in their 20ties and phantom when dem mother dead they did not attend the funeral but wanted the car she killed herself in

          1. Wow! that’s just cold right there! We have to be cautious as to whom we expose ourselves to. “Many are not with you, yet them smile with you”.

          2. That is true but with this little girl u comment just spark something ina mi now ..usually no matter what little girls nuh waa dem daddy hurt …I wonder what kind of woman came into their lives?

      1. thanks to met and the metters i’m really glad for this post it allows for people like myself who choose to stay in the shadow and keep our depression in the dark to realize that we are not alone and that we are “normal” in the sense that you have all class of people going through it and we are not some misfit weirdo worthless not good enough human being in this universe we are normal people with a “sickness” may god bless your boo phantom he was sent just in time by the lord

  7. Life ain’t easy, death is. I would be a liar if i said i don’t get down but not enough to take my own life or another. She a sleep and har pickney dem a bawl. Women are more resilient than men so me no understand suicide at all.

  8. Pretty, mi nuh wrong yuh fe guh comment @ 1:30pm, mi jus neva wa elaborate ah disturb this thread outta respect, simi.

  9. I have to learn not to take myself and life so seriously. Lots of time when things are not going my way, I want to blame the world. But sometimes I just try to take it one day at a time, and hopefully the sad stuff will pass. Sometimes it lingers for an awfully long time

    1. Pmrm, trust mi you are not alone. It hard yes but tuh haffe keep on tell yuhself .. And this too shall pass. Everybody deals with some form of sadness in their lives; it’s how you deal with it that makes all the difference.

    2. Pmrm u see when it seems long n drawn out that’s when u know a battle has been won for you (how do I explain this) my take on it is like this if the thing quickly goes then I know it was nothing minor but if it’s a long time n I have to dig in and really pray it out I know I have conquered it because there’s no victory without a war.
      I try to pray every morning the minute I open my eyes it takes practice but it can be done n just give God the wheel before u even start n just believe.

      1. And you know the funny thing when youre in that battle u think it will never end and when it ends 9/10 times u forget it

        1. Ahhhhh Met I tell you but what seems like a 100 yrs to us is like a minute to God n we just need to wait on him man mi say I can say this now but sometime me hear little things a pinpoint mi wrongs n faults n how terrible I am but mi haffi cry Mercy n just know say I’m a work In progress so even if all that is true God has a bigger n better plan for me.

          1. Yes and it really hard especially when one problem meet upon another then another…and a dat really push some people over the edge

    3. Do you think a little start the day and a night journal would work..Starting the day with writing about being blessed to wake up etc and ending the day with all that went wrong in another book…but to keep the night journal locked away and the morning one up and open?

      1. I’m sure it would u just have to find ur way no matter how hard it seems, also good friends n family who knows from just a look r ur voice that ur having a ruff one n can help to lift ur spirits is a great way too

        1. That is true and not only friends and family but people in general should be nice..u dont know what that kind word could do for someone’s day

  10. Try my best not to make what reach me , reach to kids. Case in point. Kids want some Devon House Ice Cream. I say I don’t have any money right now, maybe tomorrow. When I am driving past next day, they say I want some Devon House Ice cream. you promised.

    I have to spend what me don’t have and buy ice cream for everybody ( lunch money mash up for rest of week). Make note to self, don’t drive pass Ice Cream parlour when broke, because I cant stand to disappoint my kids.

    1. Yeah I understand buttt u can say i know I promised but if I do it now this and this will happen. Kids can take more than we think instead of doing that because in this instance it works both ways..What if there really really wasn’t any more money at all ..dem nah go believe u when u seh u nuh have it..I do the same thing too and with people but I made a promise about a month now not to do it anymore..I almost did it Monday again but I caught myself lol and only gave half..dat never bad doe so im getting there

    2. Pmrm and also try to be the type of parent who talks to ur child mi no mean break down the whole budget to dem now eno but no matter how young make dem understand that if u had ur way they would get ice cream every evening but mommy cannot get u ice cream today don’t give a day when u will just surprise dem. Smh it hard to say no to ur kids tho

    1. yes i have no words because that a one a di toughest things in life if not the toughest ..n look how yeppie always put out the best so many can get there…although mi understand sometimes people just want to take the pain away it nuh really haffi be a selfish move but u are stuck and stuck with the pain and no one can share your pain

      1. no one else share the same pain but everybody know it. out of fear comes suicide and my God tell me say fear no one but him, so as far as i can see until him ready fi mi i are here wid no apologies.

  11. We as Jamaicans take bad things make joke more often than not, and as Observer seh wi always a call people mad and it nuh right. Case in point when mi see Mikey Mention statement this morning mi almost seh “but dat boy is one mad smaddy!” but mi tink better as Mikey may genuinely be hurting losing a close friend and all ;-). But in all seriousness when wi see ppl acting strange esp family members we have to pay close attention and get them help. Prayers and some attention with geniune loving care goes a far way.

      1. See, there are those who are depress and those who has gone beyond depress. So, insanity is there when people do not come out of depression back to them ‘usual’ self.

  12. My condolences………mett when I was a teenager,my best friend was my next door neighbor.an believe me she had everything because her father had a shop n bar..good school.basically daddy’s girl…….n she just went home one evening n did the same thing……it’s was so bad for the dad he pass months later fr heart attact….it always to this day bother me as to why………we were really kool childhood friends,grew up together laugh n talk everyday through the bar wired fence n i could never see or understand how could she do it.

  13. Met is only one concern I know she did ave…….her dad left mom n marry a different lady,she hate di woman n tek time hate di father to….she was only girl of 4.an she would do everything fi spite di dad…an say di new wife cannot live there…she would ave her mother come over n upset the unity..for simple reason like.if stepmada mek she wash har clothes.when we bout 15/16 di fada put dung him foot say wife not goin nowhere n ur mada nah come bk come live here.like I say she was a daddy’s girl n she knew it.an when mi look pan it “”my opinion”I think she did it to spite daddy.

  14. Mind you….the step mada would bend over bkwards just fi she like her….it bother me over the yrs………….anyhow…my dear friend Cheryl, may u soul RIP…….to this young lady as well.I rest the case n leave it to Lord Almighty..

    1. Jamaican it may have been so but dat nuh normal oo… mind dat stepmother was a witch oo nuff a dem a laugh n it doe mean a thing

  15. My condolence to the family, very sad situation. Mad luv to Tawkcheut, Yep and PhantomPhoenix fi di transparency. Fi unno test is nothing but a testimony, and mi praise Father fi dat!! Pain is real and it can manifest itself inna all kind a sinting. When s’mady commit suicide a ’cause di depression wear dem dung an mek dem feel hopeless. Dem ‘ave one advertisement yah wid the drug name Abilify…an a same suh de depression a hang ’round di people dem, jus a wait fi di opportunity fi set up shop!!! God is good and mi know Him nah go leave wi nor forsake wi. Big up tuh Metty, regulars and peepers (weh come out every fortnight like Federal Government paycheck). A myself mi a talk :ngakak

  16. several years ago went through a depressive time in my life because i didnt get my dream job and i took it to heart..i cried for days and withdrew myself from my friends and loved ones….i started hating my husband and told him he was badluck for me but most of all i hated myself…..when it takes you over all you think of is yourself and what you deserve, it’s like this very cold dark energy covering you and controlling your thoughts and you think life is not worth living anymorre if you can’t live t the way it’s supposed to be in your mind…….i had ppl who could support me but i didnt tell them anythng because i didnt want anyone to stop me from lashing outt a myself………it was when the thoughts of killing myself started getting more and more powerful by the day, that alittle voice inside me said “SNAP OUT OF THIS!…THIS IS NOT YOU!…YOU ARE STRONGER AND BIGGER THAN THIS!….IF YOU KILL YOURSELF WiLL YOU STILL GET WHAT YOU WANT?…NO!”…..and that was when i began the healing proccess and started putting myself back together…….years later when i looked back at it…..i promised myself never to ever allow anything whether great or small to ever take me back to that dreadful,dark place called DEPRESSION………………………………….CAREER DEPRESSION WHICH I THINK THIS LADY WENT THROUGH LIKE MYSELF IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS BECAUSE YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE ESPECIALLY HER BUSINESS REMINDED HER EVERYDAY WHAT A ‘FAILURE SHE WAS TO HERSELF AND EVERYONE’……FAILURE IS NOT TRUE BUT WHEN DEPRESSION GRIPS YOU THEN YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE SO YOU’D RATHER END IT ALL BEAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE DOING YOURSELF AND FAMILY A HUGE FAVOUR………………..the thing is alive and moves from person to person because depressed people emit a certain energy that attracts suicide demons.

  17. listen when you map your life out after leaving university and not prepare yourself for the inevitable you will get caught up in depression easily….because life is not going according to plan……then you start a business that might not be flourishing as yet and you don’t seem to have that patience for success the way you want it then you start thinking about it alot and voila! you have sunken into depression mode…………….that’s why i have learned to just PUT GOD FIRST AND FOREMOST ABOVE ALL WORLDLY THINGS SO THAT WHEN THESE THINGS HIT YOU….YOU CAN RETAIN YOUR SANITY AND SEE LIFE THROUGH GOD’S EYES AND NOT MAN’S.

    1. Well said. I believe this young lady experiencing a string of “bad luck” and it culminated in her taking her life. I think she went through a divorce in 2011 and maybe the Catering business wasn’t doing well (everyone is a Caterer in Jamaica). In Jamaica money and status is viewed highly and some people cannot deal with the sudden fall from financial status.

      1. very true anonymous….i have a male lawyer friend who is so unhappy even though he has everything and you know why?……..he is very worried about money all the time because he comes from a legacy of money and he has to live up to his status……so he is constantly depressed about it…i tried to talk him out of it but it seems money is his life and he cant help himself……….that is why nobody should envy any body they see living a certain life because it’s just face value and the majority rich is highly unhappy….most would rather die than to live like a pauper or to live on a budget like the middle class because they have to keep up with the jones’s.

  18. Depression, That ugly CONCEPT BAD LIKE AIDS, A me fi tell u. U cannot relate until u have 1st hand knowledge or been there. I lost my best fren of 25yrs 1.5yrs ago and believe me, when my depression set een me neva see it coming and if it wasnt for the MERCY OF GOD i would have lost my mind and end up like my own psych patients. Dem say time heal all wounds but me can tell u dat nuh true, BUT PRAYER WORKS WONDERS AND GOD WORK MIRACLES EVERYDAY. @Met, post this pan di front page cause many more need fi read this blog here..DEPRESSION REAL BUT THERE IS HELP!!!

  19. Met depression can tough anyone , especially if you get sick or keep suffering financial and emotional problems , sometimes family can’t even help you because things are hard for them too, and some family are the cause of your problems too,



    I guarantee in these times that we living in, you cannot live without God.

    Luke 21:26
    Living Bible (TLB)
    26 The courage of many people will falter because of the fearful fate they see coming upon the earth, for the stability of the very heavens will be broken up.

    1. Please keep in mind that children suffer depression too. Caribbean women onu can keep it secret but MAJORITY of us suffer from sexual abuse as little girls and it manifest into our adulthood and it is a life time baggage. Who want fi deny it and hold it like a diamond mine….it will consume you, no amount a material or financial wealth can erase you memories.

      Met, that is a Sunday blog wid bloggers posting as Anon that will send this site into a whirl wind *wink*.

    2. Met hormone imbalances can make a person depressed , lack of vitamin D can lower a person’s serotonin levels and cause depression too. We need to Get more time in the sun.

  20. may her soul rest in peace been going though a ruff patch in my life and the day I was fill really down and was crying and feel like there was no way out and had no friend met took time out to talk with me via email and trust me met did not know what was going though my mind but the little time we spent email back and forth to each other save me and made me take the time out call my brothers and ask them to come chill with me and I was able to open up with them and had their love and support so I understand that there are times when u feel so alone and nothing left to do but end your life to met thank u for thinking the time out to chat via email with me

  21. Metty mi wonder if Obara can shed some light here. Mi already tell u about mi experience with post partum

  22. My heart goes out to this family and my tears flow for this woman. I experience a bout of depression that almost mad me and I have learn to show compassion to others because
    If one dont have loving, supportive people, u will take the plunge when depressed. What frightens me was how critical I was of myself during that period. I cant imagine how dificult it is for clinical depressed people

  23. I kno how she felt as me myself is near that road but I find comfort in reminding myself its not permanent . I have no families in this country n I paint a pic that am ok because I came to this farrin country for better but I am feeling like a failure.

    1. Don’t feel like a failure because your way isn’t another person way. You cannot live for the world, you must live for yourself!

      I felt like a failure because my progress wasn’t in tune to the time of my family’s expectations. Now I am mastering progress and all a pass those who progressed ahead of me….”Today fi dem, Tomorrow fi ME” remember that.

      Read desderada poem when you feel down.

  24. To :Anonymous
    December 5, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    Your heart beating is a reminder that God is with you and in you, he said he will never leave you nor forsake you, he is working behind the scenes for your life and in your life, to save and make you into a better person than you are right now, so hold on while you go through a spiritual reconstruction, I understand how you feel, but believe God’s words more than what you feel or see. I am glad I didn’t die when I beg God to let me die.

  25. Thanks a lot………..I am just hoping one day my train will come to the end of a tunnel…….. I apappreciate u guys advice n am gonna put it into action

    1. Anon we r here for u. Anytime u feel that feeling, never be afraid to drop a line inna any one of the post and ask fi prayers or encouragement. Me know Met wont mind. It is in the land of America me first felt hopeless and depressed but trust and believe it will get better. Just remind yourself hon that others have overcome and so will u. Two years ago this exact date I was begging God to let me die, because of how depressed I felt,. No money, no job, beating upon miself how me cant even send a dollar go gi mi madda fi Christmas. I end up being hospitalized. I can tell anyone its not worth worrying over what u cant fix immediately. Today im back to being my bubbly self,

      achieving my career goals . My

        1. :peluk Met as tough as that period was I thank God for it. I was always a high achiever with a successful career back home, now I learn to be more tolerant, kinder, patient and caring to people from all walks of life caz I said u never know what is going thru a person’s mind. I choose to give joy and love to as many persons as I can caz most peope jus want to know that they matter in life.

  26. Dear Anonymous 11:24 PM…..I usually don’t log in so early, but I did and saw your message. God’s word said He can do everything BUT fail. Since you are His child, then you are NOT and will NEVER be a failure. Plans might not be working out the way you want them to…but always remember that God is working it out behind the scene. Do mi a beg yuh listen to da song yah

  27. good morning jmg

    thank yu to each person whey tek time an comment. yu a share ur feelings an not even kno how much yu a help di next person. ive too felt sad n heavy but mi thank God daily fi being di light in mi life n removing di heaviness likkle by likkle. constantly having to remind my self dat my God is bigger dan any situation or circumstance. Blessed luv met, chuet, phantom, yep, pmrm, bev, logic, jamaican, all metters. Pink wall is a gift frm God to many a person. thank yu metty

  28. R>I>P to this young lady. Depression is one of the worst diseases known to mankind. But I think it comes mostly from listening to the views of others. Because truth the majority of us face depression at one time or another living in this so called modern society. And many people who are going through depressional states hate to see others happy. That is why people do some of the most devious and brutal acts on to others – because they feel that those who are living happy are moving on to the land of happiness without them.

    But the ultimate thing fi do is keep a strong faith in God Almighty and thrust and believe that badmind worse than obeah. Fear it and stay far from it. And don’t take life so seriously. Remember that it is the world that man has built that causes the depression you are going through. The world that God built does not require financial nor monitory gain. While we have to be real that we do need money to live, focusing on it requires thought. And anything that is constantly placed in thought will eventually become reality.

    So gwaan come back Groupi Met enjoy a few laughs, keep it positive, and never let anyone take away your positivity regardless of how you found it. As long as you did not find it in a place of negativity. So all when them put you picture pan Jamaicangroupiement and talk the things how your dress ugly. You can’t mek that bother you. You have to remember that feeling when you first got that dress. How you look and seh Jah know the yellow, purple and green bad sah.

    And you can use that for anything, even when your love ones die. Always remember those times when you were happy with the person. Death is definitely painful, but we all will die. Even as you a mourn and a drink and a be depressed one lighting bolt can lick you down. So always try to keep the good memories, and KEEP IT POSITIVE.

    1. Fi real. Never wallow in self pity caz misery love company. Me nuh too criticise people who drink, party,, smoke etc from it is with moderation caz me realize seh a no everybody strong and some people need dem vices fi overcome

  29. I Have been reading and not saying anything on this topic, but today I would love to put in my two cents, depression is a lonely dark place where satan want us to be, feeling unloved or financial strain, the lost of a loved one can definitely put your in such a place, we have to figure out an escape route to take us out of that area, every one at some point in our lives, has visited this place called fear, despair depression, we have to realize that from time to time we all visit this emotional turmoil, but must never tarry for long in the dark hole, pray to God listen praise songs, not sad songs, go out try to lift your sprit up to get a release ,think about happy moments in your life, laugh when you feel like crying, go to the hair dresser, just do some things to make you feel better, run, hop, skip and jump it out. Remember it’s only a visit to depression never over stay your welcome.

  30. You see a man’s face but not the heart…you really can’t look at someone and judge their life! Someone may even look at me and think I have nothing to worry about…Not true I’ve been battling depression and Anxiety for years. From in my childhood I felt alone I was fatherless my mother was not affectionate and I had no one…When she would say hurtful things to me I would get really distraught.I would grab knife to stab myself that was hard but numerous times I took overdose of pills and nothing really happen. I Have been through alot! When I had my first child I told myself I couldn’t think that way anymore. I battle all the time to be strong and think positive but that depression is a battle I am happy that I’m still here to watch my children grow I will not leave this world by choice with them behind. I’m sadden the lady above could not fight harder for her boys but may she find peace.

  31. Morning JMG,

    This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I know someone who is very close to me who is suffering from depression and mental illness. This is something that just happened out of the blue. He was a very outgoing, active person, loved to play sports and socialize. Then one day he became so withdrawn, he started to self hate, didn’t like his complexion. He covered all the mirrors in his house because he didn’t want to look at his self in the mirror.

    The doctor’s said he has a chemical imbalance and for some people, it can happen in their mid 20’s to 30’s. Also it can be triggered by sudden stress or loss.

    Met there are times, I feel like I can’t get up out the bed. I feel like something is holding me down. Whenever I get to feeling like that I try my best to think positive. First thing I would do is get in the shower if I’m home. I take a hot shower and just take deep long breaths and let the warmth of the water relax me. Sometimes just taking a walk to the corner store can help to clear your mind, exercise and eating healthy is also very important.

    I weined myself off the sugary foods and processed foods. I only get my sugar intake from fruits and I will have one or two spoons of sugar in my tea or coffee. And on days when i’m feeling down, I will tell myself…You are beautiful, you are healthy, you are strong and a suh mi haffi bakkle it. Some days I am stronger and I can just brush it off but when it really bad I have to dig deep and find myself.

    Thanks for bringing awareness to this and allowing us to talk about our personal battle with this illness. For some it’s easy for others it’s VERY hard.

  32. Sad one but hopefully it can open eyes.

    She could have done this for many reasons (family, spouse, broken heart, etc), but in Jamaica, like other poor countries, depression is a issue that gets little to no air-play.

    This happens a lot as well in the poor communities who can do nothing to treat themselves, as the wealthy have many options. They are able to hide/protect these issues with the best health care and PR machinery that money can buy.

    What i found interesting though was the part about how much she was being offered as payment. A big issue that nobody seems to raise issues about is the MINIMUM WAGE.. Its also now a front row item in the USA. Poverty introduces a lot of issues, but I better stay quiet cuz Portia likes people when they are poor.

  33. RIP to the lady above. Suicide can seem like the cowards way out but who knows how much pain a person can really bear. Plus mental illness may cause a person to think so illogically that they start hearing voices, become delusional and this is what causes them to take their own lives bc a person is not in their “right mind”. I would never think of committing suicide no matter how bad life gets but everyone has a different way of dealing with issues and some people are emotionally stronger than others. God forbid but if d big A reach me I dunno how I would react me fraid o it bad. This is where family and friends are important bc f we c someone acting abnormal then that is the time to intervene n find out what caused such a significant change in z person’s behavior n urge them to seek medical care asap. But here is another thing dem doctor a farin love write prescription n some a dem medicine here so strong that d side effect is much worse than d treatment itself. If u no mad offa u own d medication will mad u. Yawdy u think a u 1 c d Abilify commercial is whole heap more dem have. Now heres d ting evry body know when u just come a foreign is 1 piece o loneliness u haffi endure until u meet friends n establish u self. Sometime is u n God 1 inna d house/apt n all u do is watch TV n look outside n hope n pray fe u family member come home. It no easy at all bc all u c pon d TV is d depression commercial dem saying d following: R u sad, lonely, gaining or losing weight, irritable having anxiety n d list goes on now tell me all these repeated messages highlight depression so much dat u will diagnose u self based pon d commercial dem. Now I grew up in Jamaica n come a America when me 17 n me never once hear d word DEPRESSION. Me mother lef me wid me granny n me big sista n is barrel raise me n me don’t think me turn out 3 bad. But when me reach a foreign is when me discover madness pon a different level everybody deh pon medication fe sumn. Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, Schizophrenia n all these things all likkle pickney. A mean when u deh a Jamaica uc mad ppl eno but when u ask a wa cause it u hear all kinda reason eg him study 2 hard, a education mash him/her up, dem obeah him, him wife /husband bun him or lef him, d dawta get pregnant 2 young, or dem smoke 2 much high grade n a so dem mad. But foreign ppl a walk ina street n u don’t know who sane d man wid d best bizness suit a tek all kinda medication fe mental illness smh. But truly there are several factors which can lead 2 mental illness. They say schizophrenia can start in the teens especially f the person experiences some kind of trauma. N d same hormonal imbalance is so true bc 1 week b4 we time of the month d mood swings wa some ppl experience u woulda swear say dem mad. Plus not 2 mention Menopause this can affect women tremendously as well. N d post partum depression when woman do C-section or dem have baby n theres no one 2 assist them – they end up being severely depressed. Or even when they have babies 2 fast r back2back as in d case of Lauren Hill’s depression. Life is a struggle n every1 has an addiction. For some ppl its food, shopping, sex, drugs, crime, or just simply being obsessed with d wrong things. Social Media has also led to many people being depressed. When you see others living these pretentious lavish lifestyles it makes you question your accomplishments. But people need to realize that many folks are just pretending and they may not have as much as they seem – ask their creditors. Another thing about this young lady I noticed is that she tried to run a bizness in Jamaica n that is a task n a half. Everyday we hear d horror stories how Jamaica hard. D first ting u can expect when u own a bizness is u spending ur life savings on such a huge investment n ppl tek libaty wid u. U will have d 1s who trust or tek u tings n don’t pay, den there is d thiefing when u hire ppl n they r not trustworthy. N u r left wid d reality that all the money u spent went down d train. Again me neva hear bout nervous breakdown until me reach a foreign, ppl used 2 dead from old age, suga n high blood pressha but when me come a Merica it was a different story.Having a bizness in Jamaica is a risky investment n I am so proud of this woman for trying and proving how ambitious she was for herself n family especially her two boys but mental illness took her life such a pity….

    1. Real talk Anonymous, yuh cova di whole gamut. Mi wuk inna substance abuse/personality disorder. Mi know ’bout di medication dem an mi see sum a di adverse effects. Mi see whole heap!!! In spite of it all, we still have to trust God and stand on His word. Satan came to rob, kill, steal an destroy…..’im is di father of deception. Stan firm an reach out when yuh feel overwhelmed. God bless!

  34. alot of this has to do with those overzealous religious types as well. i remember as a teenager in jamaica, seeing people go to pastors and elders to ask for advice on depression. all they would say is Jesus wont give you more than you can bear or he might not come when you call but he is always on time. obviously was a bit late for this lady who killed herself. full time now people stop sit and wait for some religious saviour to appear and make everything ok, after all even the good book says faith without works is dead! give the people real advice and a physical person to talk to, depressed people want an actual person in front of them to open up to, not a spirit! of course these words will upset blacks because dem love God more than everybody else.

  35. I’ve suffered from depression most of my life. Tried killing myself in high school, almost died. Had my stomach pumped or so I’m told because I don’t remember any of it. Just woke up at home few days later. Prescribed cymbalta in college. That thing made my depression worse. So I took myself off it. And every now and then I do get so depressed that I have suicidal thoughts, but I know there’s so much to live for. The problem is temporary, but death is permanent. I just pray and cry as much as I need to. And though I hate telling people my problems, because I’m a private person, I try to talk to a close friend.
    Thanks for doing this topic. People need to know they’re not alone, and there is light outside of the darkness.

    1. Jahmoon I’m so glad that ur still alive n fighting the good fight please stay with us there is always hope n solution but u have to stay alive to find it blessings always

  36. Me say dah topic ya beat me bad last night e really claat me. Mawnin Ms. Met n crew me say more time me loike d ray ray n mix up topic dem but dah 1 yah serious so me haffi run een pon it. Mek me start by saying dat most JAMAICANS don’t believe inna PSYCHOLOGIST, PSYCHIATRIST, SHRINK, THERAPIST OR THERAPY especially d type o therapy wa u haffi go pay ppl fe siddung n tell dem fa wrong wid u just fe u get advice. Inna me old granny dem voice dem principle dere is modern day things. Back in d day there was no need for a therapist is country me come from n when something wrong wid me me draw fe d best therapist me GRANNY OR SOME OTHER TRUSTED FAMILY MEMBER. the elderly always had the wisdom n z best advise because they themselves lived through adverse situations n based on experience they could always tell u d best way to resolve a problem. STRESS N SUICIDE WHO DID KNOW BOUT DEM THINGS

  37. Met d computer a gi chubble me neva dun type. Neway Yawdy a true ting me bredda e look like dis topic bring out d holiness inna ya mekk u all a quote scripture n sen uplifting song go ge ppl it’s a good look! NO ONE HAD D WISDOM THAT A GRANDMOTHER HAS bc they have lived through terrible situations n based on z experience they gained they were able to provide substantial n unbiased advice. Me could always count pon me granny 2 kno when sumn wrong wid me b4 me even tell her she would know ask a who chubble u? D modern day practice of paying someone 2 listen to ur troubles n have them provide advice is looked down r even shunned inna d Jamaican community. D 1st ting most Jamaicans will say is u mad, me nah go pay n siddung wid no stranger fe tell me wa wrong wid me me kno how fe deal wid my problems hence d phrase “JAMAICA NO PROBLEM MAN”. In olden days all when ppl hungry n white squall a eat out dem mouth, n mama neva have no money fe go a shop or market nobadi neva tek it 2 heart we just kno say a so life go n we deal wid it. Big jil a oil, half a pound a flour, ¼ bread n some mango haffi stretch till betta come. Nowadays however, the z fast responsibilities of families can b overwhelming n cause ppl 2 suffer emotional disturbances. For example pay d school fee, d car loan, d MORTGAGE, d credit card bills, d rent, light, gas n water rate plus just d basic living necessities have taken a toll on ppl. D aim is 2 live within our means but with the ambition that many Jamaicans have working three jobs have worn us down and we want so much more that settling for less will not do. This business has caused us not to take the time to examine what is really going on mentally with ourselves n other family members. There is no time to hold even a decent conversation with someone anymore. Dem just call n say u “ALRIGHT” n keep it moving. But not all of us even though we disguise it maybe alright. As someone said above ppl turn 2 church but some ppl r also distrusting of d church bc sometime d pastor have more problem dan u. Mental Illness is also hereditary it runs in families n sometimes no matter how u live ur life u r likely 2 b diagnosed if a family member had it. But also devastating events in life can cause a person who was on a solid path with clearly defined goals to suddenly hit rock bottom n this can send z person into crisis mode. We all have to learn 2 deal with very difficult situations in life n we r not unrealistic bc we know that some ppl will not b able 2 cope no matter how they try. When u have achieved true satisfaction in life that is the key to happiness but some ppl can never b pleased n they will always b looking for more which leads 2 STRESS. I think that’s y Jamaicans rely on music and food so much that’s our therapy. When sumn a boda we – we hold a medz wid reggae music a play, food a cook, n breeze a blow out side but for some ppl it’s not that simple. Until uve walked a mile in someone-else’s shoes u cannot question their way of dealing with an issue leave that 2 GOD!!!

    1. Hey Anonymous, very good post :rate BTW mi is a sista. Mi mite qwaan wid likkle chubble sumtime, but mi ‘ave a close relationship wid Father. Mi nuh ‘fraid fi call pan Him, an mi wussa nuh ‘fraid fi praise Him. Mi believe inna Him an mi know seh Him gi wi wisdom fi use, nuh fi sidung pan. Mi nah lie doe…wen mi come pan JMG di ‘mount a laugh whey mi get….not even George W. Bush therapist mek im feel so good :ngakak

  38. Good afternoon all. One of the regular peepers here. I commented before regarding the social services work I do and I would like to share a true story that happened. (short version) I had a client who came from mobay to the states to have the baby . She battled with undiagnosed mental health illness in Jamaica from a child and was sent to live with her grandmother When she would have her manic fits she would get beat for being a mad gal.. She told me she heard voices, saw things, and displayed other symptoms of more severe mental health illness than depression. see, it not depression alone, most time it mania,schizophrenia , and bi-polar illnesses. I was able to get the young women therapy and she did well until she went back to Jamaica after the baby turned a few months old. She called me and told me she tried to strangle the baby and felt like she wanted to kill the baby and she called me to help. She said she told the grandmom she feel to hurt the baby and was told told “Hush” you all right, it happen after baby born. I was afraid for the baby, how was I to help her from the states? I kept her on the phone while I had someone dig up the file and get some phone number of relatives to call to get there to help the baby. I ended up calling around to several places in Jamaica to try to get help. As one of the commenters said, depression or any type of mental illness is not treated as a serious thing. I ended up calling someone I knew at University of West Indies and got her help. Her family had to get her there and it was free. Can you imagine she had to go so far for mental health help. She is doing fine today and is on meds. She has supervised visits with the baby. But at least she had sense enough to call me although im far away for help before she killed the baby!

  39. Den Yawdy who come pan JMG every fortnight like federal govt paycheck, yah really ooman d way how u gi chubble u coulda pass fe man dats y me stay anonymous cos nobadi can mek assumptions 🙂 But a true still we doan need no medication when we have Met n JMG we can come right here come lay we troubles pon Met shoulders n put we worries inna har pocket…Dis is d ultimate “THERAPY” right here large up Met n JMG!!!!!

  40. Goodnite met and Metters. I just wanna thank everyone for sharing there stories. I admire all of you cause it takes alot of courage to talk about this. I have a cousin who had the “baby blues” after she had her second baby. Thank god our family gave her support and she got counseling and over came it. My best friend is slipping deep into depression and i dont know what to do.Her mom was hit and killed on new years eve this year by the LIRR and its taking a toll on her. She only has 1 sibling and shes not that close with him. We use to live close together in brooklyn and she would always come by me when she get lonely.but since i moved to florida she’s very lonely and just want to lock up in her apartment. Even though we call n skype each other i still worry about her alot. I really want her to get some therapy sessions but since im not there to push her i dont know what to do.

  41. @ miss jamaica, thanx for sharing that story and i’m glad ur doing better. thanx for everyone who shared. the problem with depression is that it gets the people so hopeless that they feel there is nothing to live for and that they are a failure or hindrance and therefore their loved ones would actually be better off without them.

    @met, i completely agree, it’s a demon spirit that makes people become so despondent that they are unable to see the purpose to continue living. it’s not something that is normal at all and my prayers are continually with those who feel consistently unloved and rejected because is just satan manipulating them into thinking life won’t get better. it’s very sad.

    some may say HE is not real and HE do not exist, but for me- gimme mi GOD an mi bible every time. there are a lot of spiritual, mental, and emotional oppression out there an u haffi just put u ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL inna HIM and stay in constant prayer fi overcome because the MOST HIGH can an will deliver us. is only satan trick we fi believe otherwise. i encourage those suffering to try an find GOD, read di bible an find solace in the good news of HIS GLORY, HIS MAJESTY and HIS SAVING STRENGTH. HE is real an HE saves, so never ever lose faith HIM.

  42. rip to di lady up a top an all those who have fallen victim to the mental oppression that bind and cripple them. we pray that their families may be spared from repeating the same actions an suffering the same unfortunate fate

  43. What do you call a situation, where everybody says ‘you will get over it”. But you are not, at least not fast enough.

    How long does a situation have to last for to get over it to begin

  44. uno nuh pity this selfish bitch. She was the mother of hypeness uptown! A real hype bitch even within her social circle. She kill harself caws Saleem lef har and she cya hype as much as she used to no more.

  45. hhhmmm! What should i really say about this? I will start by saying that I am going thru a very very rough n rocky road right now and I too suffer from depression, but i don’t think I have it in me to kill myself, i just can’t see that. The Jamaican economy in shambles, foreign is not a bed a roses, but if push come to shove, mi take a plane and go over there go try any little legitimate hustling.
    I sympathize with her kids becuz i feel she should have hold out for them. When life throw u lemons, u make lemonade! Her kids attend Hillel, sometimes you just have to get under your dollar if that is the case. If it is relationship problem, that even worst, that’s not worth taking your life over. And i’ve been thru real heartbreak too so i know! Sometimes the problem a lot of uptown ppl have is ‘keeping up with the Jones!’ I mean, people would talk if you stop sending your kids to Hillel and start sending them to a another school, but so what! You cannot earn one $1 and want to spend $1.50. And i’m going thru a rough time now, sometime when depression take over, is like me cannot study or do anything. I have 2 finals later this week and I have been studying and with all that’s happening with me it is not easy. This also has been my worst semester, I am tickler for rules, love being on time everywhere i go and this semester, if I didn’t show up at class late, me leave early or me just don’t go any at all and the absence was very regular. I made changes, i’m not afraid to say i moved into a cheaper apartment – and by doing that i found out the real friends from the fake. I know things are going to turn around again for the better as I know what the sacrifices i am making now are for. i feel that when you have kids, the focus should be more on them. Did she think about how her kids would be feeling right now?

  46. Many times a person who is depressed feels like a failure,or unloved, or unworthy, so they feel that the best thing they can do for their family is to come out of the way because they may feel the problem is them and they may feel that life for everyone may be better if they are not here,

    while others may do it and feel like they will spite the ones left behind ..if you believe in God then also believe there is a devil ,the thing is what methods does the devil uses to destroy us, I believe whatever we invest our emotions in the most. that is what the enemy comes after.

    Staygood here is one music for you.


  47. Thank you, Chuet. I know I have to press on, and too much people would be hurt and I don’t want to cause pain for anybody.

  48. May Ms. Lazarus rest in peace.

    As a person who fights against depression, the best bit of advice I ever received came from the internet: “Before you decide you are depressed be sure you are not just surrounded by ***holes.”

    I kicked the ones that I could out of my life and severely limited my time with the ones I couldn’t eliminate. I now spend my time doing what I enjoy as a priority. Everything and everyone else on earth comes in second place. I try to show compassion but I defend my boundaries by saying no to unreasonable demands and unsolicited opinions on my life.

    I realize now that my depression comes from unresolved anger. Unresolved because vampires never apologize, never repair and never change their ways. Instead of allowing the anger to eat me alive, I’m channelling it into self-care and creativity. Each day I get closer to that joyful child of God I used to and am meant to be.

    Some of us are swans trying so hard to fit in with the ugly ducklings. We blame ourselves for their cruel and jealous ways. Wake up from the dream they’ve made for you. Tune out the little voice in your head that echoes those cruel words. Listen instead to the dream that your Father in heaven placed in your heart. Grasp the “life more abundant” that He promised to you.

  49. Very sad. I didnt know her, but read her inspiring business story in the Observer and Gleaner a few years ago. Its also been said her tragic death was what moved Tessanne emotionally during her “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” performance, which gave her the boost she needed on the Voice, to surface to the top and eventually win. Im not one to spread rumours, but it has also been said much of Lazarus troubles were marital related, dealing with the split & the Ex..and the young kids caught in between. We have to be on the look out for signs of severe depression. This is sad, 2 young boys, left without a mother who couldve gotten some help had she reached out or had someone reached out to her. We can only say, RIP Anna Kaye…God works in mysterious ways, and I believe things happen to remind us of how to care and respond to others.

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