LIVING WITH A CHEATER

Some people may consider a cheating partner as a relationship deal-breaker, one thing they know they would never put up with. But there are people who deal with this every day, once such person being Navlet.
Below is her story of living with a cheating partner:
I know that a lot of people might not understand my reason for being with a man for almost six years who has been cheating on me for the past four years. A lot of women will pick me apart and probably label me as stupid. I have lost some friends over the years because of this – my willingness to be with the man I love.
I met him seven years ago and we were good friends and then we decided to take the relationship to another level. He is a good looking man and women automatically are drawn to him. He also has a really nice personality which makes him the perfect package. Things were going fine between us until his ex came back to Jamaica. At first I didn’t put it on my mind because she was just an ex, but then they started to spend more time together and I told him I was not comfortable with it. He told me I had nothing to worry about but then she got pregnant. He said it wasn’t his and I believed him. It turned out it was his.
CHEATER

I broke up with him but he found his way back in my life again. He told me he was sorry, that it just happened, and I forgave him. Then I started hearing that he was talking to a young lady in my community.
I confronted him, he said he didn’t even know who I was talking about, again I believed him. Then a few months later this girl turned up at my house a few hours after he came by one day to visit me. She was pregnant and apparently wasn’t pleased that my man had stopped talking to her. I know that he lied to me but I couldn’t let these people around me be aware of this, so while she was out there raising her voice and carrying on about me, I had to let her know that she was nothing to him because he was still with me. When the dust settled and I walked inside the house I broke down in tears. This had hurt me so much and now everyone knew what he had done.
Again we broke up and again I took him back. This time he asked me to move in with him and I did. He promised not to hurt me again and I loved him so much that I believed that he had it in him to change. We had been together for four years now and he was the father of two kids, kids that I never gave him. I too wanted to be a mother and felt robbed of the opportunity because he was busy giving his sperm to everyone but me. I told him I wanted a child and he said not right now.
I was so angry, because he was able to father two children outside of our relationship. I wanted to walk away from the relationship but when I looked back at my past relationships, I realised that even though he wasn’t perfect, he hadn’t put me through half of the other things I had been through.
My best friend couldn’t understand why I was settling for him but it’s not a matter of settling, it’s a matter of love, and I love him. Yes, he has broken my heart, but it’s not like he isn’t aware of the hurt it has caused me. He has asked for my forgiveness and has proven to me just how sorry he is.
As the years have passed I have had to put up with a lot of things from women calling and cursing me out to women threatening to beat me up. I even got a STD from him. He told he had it and that I should go and get checked out. I was upset because what if he had given me HIV/AIDS? I keep telling him that if he’s going to cheat on me then respect me enough not to get any more women pregnant and don’t bring home anything to me. Wrap it up.
I’m not an ugly woman and I wasn’t deprived of love growing up. I have just had a few bad relationships and would rather be with someone who I know loves me and is willing to work on his mistakes. He has never hit me or raised his voice at me, he has never belittled me, he has never made me feel like I was the ground that he walked on. I will agree that a cheater will always make you feel insecure as I have always questioned him on whether it’s me, if he doesn’t find me attractive, or if I’m not pleasing him sexually and he always says that’s not it, that the problem isn’t with me it’s him. He says he’s not perfect and he’s sorry for all the wrongs he has done. I sometimes feel like he takes me for granted because I will always forgive him because I love him.
We are currently in counselling. I don’t know if it is working not because I think he is back to his old ways, but because I don’t really know when he is cheating. It’s not something I want but it’s something I have come to live with.

8 thoughts on “LIVING WITH A CHEATER

  1. So sender you keep saying you love him, you love him , but what about YOU loving yourself that much to see that this man does not love you back. I don’t get it and I’m not gonna bash you either this man only loves himself and that’s it , he keeps messing up and coming back to you only because he knows you love him like that and will believe all that bullshit he’s feeding you. He went out f**king raw make 2 babies on you not only that but have you a STD if that’s not eye opening enough for you u don’t kno what will. You talking about what if it was “AIDS” like really you gonna sit and wait to see if the next thing he’s bringing home to you will be AIDS? Sister wake the f**k up open your eyes love your self more kick this man To the curb for 4 years out of y’all 6 years together this man been cheating and you keep taking himback why u think he’s gonnastop now. Remember y’all are just gf & bf thatsnot a title to put up with all this bullshit. We teach people how to treat us so that’s exactly what’s happening right now. Take your powerback and kno your self worth please don’t settle for this piece a shit.

    1. AMEN! So often we look for love from others when we can give that love to ourselves. Once we realize that, we can hold our head high and be confident. Confidence attracts good men, and you will see how many men are chasing after you when your esteem is high. It’s not about looks or sexuality, thats why he keeps cheating, it’s something inside him that doesn’t want anything decent because he wants to live a dirty life. He is with you and doing these things because you allow it. Cut him off!

      Men like him deserve to be single. Damaged goods.

  2. the best way to get over a man is to get under one. Go f**k like him and you will know if you still love him. I am not staying loyal to no cheater.

  3. Lady I hear you. But you get no symphony from me. Been there before but did not let it go this long. Its true what the lady said above. LOVE YOURSELF.

  4. Sender come let’s sit and talk and let me cook a good plate of your favorite food so I can poison your stupid rass
    Seems to me you love that bastard more than your frigging self come onn young lady wake the hell up and smell the damn coffee

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