Dear Pastor,
I am 23 and have a child who is one year old. I am engaged to be married. We are in the process of putting things together for the wedding but I am having a problem. My husband-to-be is very sexual and likes to experiment. He told me recently that, before we get married, he has one request of me. He would like me to invite one of my girlfriends into the bedroom with us to do a threesome. I told him I was not in favour of that but every day he mentions it.
He is suggesting that if I do not want to bring one of my friends, he would like to bring a girl he knew. She lives with her boyfriend but it would be just for one night and that would be it. Her boyfriend would not know about it. Pastor, I told him if that is what he wants, I would give him back the ring he bought me, give up the place we are living and go back to my parent’s house.
I did not know my future husband has engaged in threesomes. He told me he did it four times and it is something that men like to do. Now that I know that he has done so, I am scared to marry him because I heard that people who do threesomes don’t use condoms and the women have sex with each other. I am really worried and, since he has been pressuring me, I find myself not loving him as before. I don’t feel the same way about him. He never had to force me to have sex with him. Now I do it because I have to, and I don’t like that.
This man was not my first boyfriend. I left my first boyfriend because he was too jealous. Six months after I fell in love with this man, he got me pregnant. Now he is spoiling the relationship by wanting to have a threesome before we get married. I am not going to lower my standard by doing it because, if I do, he will always want to bring somebody else into the bedroom.
I told my father what he has asked and my father said he would talk to him, but I told my father that he shouldn’t. Please tell me what to do.
I.S
Dear I.S.,
I am glad this man has declared to you what he likes before you get married. You have the opportunity to say yes, or no, to his request. I wonder how much this man loves you. Some people want to do threesomes, they say, to spice up their relationship, but intelligent women know when they agree to do a threesome, to spice up their relationship, so to speak, they will always have to do so.
I would not suggest you accede to this man’s request. In fact, if he insists, you should end the relationship. He is starting out on the wrong foot. Who knows, he might be making that suggestion because he knows you would not agree and that he is looking a way out from marrying you.
Pastor
i would not marry him if i were you i also would not let any man to force me to do what i don’t want to do.
You are not into those sorts of things, so i feel you will never be able to satisfy or please him, you’re in for a life of bun factory.
my advise to you is to leave him.
You do know that most(?) men have some sort of threesome fantasy? Are you prepared to leave the guy you are dating now or married to? Not because he wants it means he will act on it. For most, it is just a fantasy. Bwoy, you women are so quick to leave a relationship at the drop of a hat.
Well sender, I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve decided to end your engagement over this dilemma, but sender, lemme ask you this…did you not know that he wanted to experiment with you while y’all were dating?..it just seems a bit odd that he would pop up with such a request without warning?…Now, I don’t see anything wrong with having a 3sum with your fiancé ( if you’re both into that sort of thing), but to want to have a 3sum with one of your friends, seems a bit suspect…..and people can experiment and have safe sex as well ( condoms, getting tested for std’s, etc. )…sender, i’d like to know why your fiancé is interested in 3summing this particular friend of yours…behind her man’s back of all things…see, thats how some people end up getting dry ass kicked cause they wanna do sneaky type shyt like dis behind people back. why he don’t go to the girl man and ask his permission so he can rip off him face??
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Well sender, I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve decided to end your engagement over this dilemma, but sender, lemme ask you this…did you not know that he wanted to sexperiment with you while y’all were dating?..it just seems a bit odd that he would pop up with such a request without warning?…Now, I don’t see anything wrong with having a 3sum with your fiancé ( if you’re both into that sort of thing), but to want to have a 3sum with one of your friends, seems a bit suspect…..and people can sexperiment and have safe sex as well ( condoms, getting tested for std’s, etc. )…sender, i’d like to know why your fiancé is interested in 3summing this particular friend of yours…behind her man’s back of all things…see, thats how some people end up getting dey ass kicked cause they wanna do sneaky type shyt like dis behind people back. why he don’t go to the girl man and ask his permission so he can rip off him face??
watah piece a briteniss
But Miss Met y that picho lol u mash up mi head when u do these things eno lmaoooo
A bright him bloodclaaaat bright as Pastor say a look him a look a way out
dat deserve one a dem kinda laugh deh oo
Pastor on point…is she refuse marriage plans changes. She not answering him correctly.
She 50/50 or him wouldn’t be nagging her about it. One firm NO wid why de hell not would a silence him.
Me more have a problem wid her telling this to her daddy! gross on a few levels.
Pastor answer was perfect. Even before mi see pawsta ansa mi was wonderizing if him pushing di issue cause deep down him want a way out di engagement. Girl, go with your heart, never ever lower your values fi please ANYBODY! A u haffi wake up and face uself in di mirror ebryday, suh u haffi meck sure u live a life weh u can face uself wid pride daily.
Is not you fi stoop down to fi him level, a him fi come up to urs. Afta u geem di cheesome, him go come tell u him waan watch him fren sex u, den him gwine want u jine swingas club, den it gwine be nudist colony, den it gwine be u fi get clit or tongue piercing, den u fi teck it in di ass, den him go want u wear strap-on and penetrate him suh him prostrate can get stimulated, den him waan watch u nyam out a gyal..u get weh mi going wid dis? Di demands will never stop because u whole sexual life will be based around whatever novel ting him will be into in dat moment. Run and don’t rass look back!