THEY’RE usually seen as the cream of the crop — saved, sanctified, untouched and ready to commit for life. They won’t cheat, won’t yield to temptation and won’t crave the things worldly women do. They will love, honour, obey and see you as the man of the house, the king. But many men shy away from Christian women despite these attributes, leaving the church pews filled with eligible women and very few takers, and this week they’re telling why.
Richard G, non-Christian:
It’s more like not wanting to touch the Lord’s anointed. Christian women like to talk about marriage and most men don’t like to feel as if they are being forced into something they’re not ready for. Also, most men want to test the water, to see if it’s what they expected. What if you run into marriage and you can’t satisfy her needs? What if she can’t satisfy yours?
Damion G, non-Christian:
Lots of women in the church are there because they have gone through some kind of emotional relationship or financial issues. Sometimes they are in church to clear baggage. This baggage is bound to show up in other relationships. The idea of holding out on sex is another thing, and also wanting to take the man to church. Jamaican men tend to seek the path of least resistance.
Sean J, Christian:
We’re all humans and if we fall, she’s going to come with something like, ‘Let us pray together and ask for forgiveness’. If it was a non-Christian woman she would just leave it alone and let me deal with my sins.
Christopher B, Christian:
You can’t get to do what you want to do. When you really think about it, a worldian woman is not afraid of anything, but a church girl will behave like if she sins, the world will end, or she will be a hypocrite about it. Furthermore, you have to go get approval from pastor, mother, father, and even her dog. I’m not about that life!
Matthew F, non-Christian:
The limitations are too much. ‘I can’t do this and I can’t do that’, because she’s afraid pastor sees us. The most functional place to bring her is probably Hope Gardens or Emancipation Park. It’s not practical, because we won’t be on the same page.
Ricardo J, Christian:
I’ve tried dating Christian women and they are too complex with too many ground rules. As a Christian I hold fast to remaining sexually pure until marriage but if I’m courting, you can’t expect me to not hug you or even give you a light kiss. I can’t function like that so I’d rather date a non-Christian girl who’s practical and then try and lead her to God. At least she would have seen both worlds and be better able to act in a rational way.
And women tell why they won’t date Christian men
Regina D, Christian:
When I’m doing what I’m doing, I don’t want to hear how good God is, I already know that. I already know you’re spiritual and grounded. Why can’t you tell me that you like me, that my smile is bright and my eyes are nice? Is that sinning? Come on! I find that guys in the world will respect my position being a Christian, seeing that it’s just simple dating, and even then they still make me feel special and we still talk about God, but it doesn’t feel like a Bible study.
Sharlene A, Christian
They try to be too much of a knight in shining armour and end up being a man in foil paper. Their level of awkwardness is at a different level. It’s like if they say they like you the world will end and when they are brave enough to be straightforward, it comes off as pushy. It’s almost as if they just can’t be normal and have a normal courtship. It’s extremities on a different level — from being too holy to being too awkward is too much. I prefer men outside of church, because their minds are more open. If it’s even to have a friend to talk to, the reasoning ability is far better.
Keisha F, non-Christian:
Simply because I need to be having sex and he would probably tell me no. Can’t deal with that.
Nastacia C, Christian:
I fear dating Christian men, because they can be very judgemental. They all want a virgin wife, untouched without spot or blemish, and most of them aren’t perfect. They are not willing to see that you are a changed person and they judge you based on your sinful lifestyle and refuse to see that you have now given your life over to serving God.
Nicole L, non-Christian:
The situation would be too complex. Imagine if I want to get comfortable with him and lean in for a kiss and he rebukes me and anoints me with olive oil. Unless he’s down-to-earth and not stupid, it won’t work. It’s not that I would want to have sex with him, but I would want to be shown love in a practical way.
Georgette R, non-Christian:
Too many detailed rules. I believe in companionship and showing love without holding back. I don’t want anybody to tell me about the seven deadly sins and to be focusing on fornication. So I stay far from such situations and stick to my kind.
Maybe most men fraid ah Christian girls because dem women stay faithful tuh dem religion, no side tracking…they are ladies in public and ladies in the bedroom, no wild behavior in bed, nuh wholeap ah tight up dis ah dat fe show shape, just plain Jane…not to say that there aren’t Christian women who are up tuh par on them style…I would like for the men dem fe come comment on this thread cause there are good men out there, but then you have some breed ah men that are just too difficult and it is impossible to please dem, suh why dem nuh guh get themselves ah good wholesome Christian woman??…everybody have them ways, but mi nuh want nuh man weh expect sheer perfection from mi yet still deem way of thinking is all f**ked up; me mus be everything he envisioned, yet still him have suh much f**kup ways ah me mus accept it and deal wid it..no sah!!…men must learn fe compromise and make life wid ah good woman as she will with him..I believe in God and will always do right before wrong, but before me live my life fe please man/kind…I will live it tuh please God and my family…man too difficult sometimes and it can be such a major turnoff..big up tuh di Christian girls dem weh naah lose dem morals n’ values fe please nuh man….
Yeppyst big up u self.fe me it could a work if she willing fe compromise Wid certain ting, but would that be selfish of me .might be but the same way me can respect har Christian principle, she affie can do the same.just no bad da too holy when it come to certain tings.
Big up yuhself tuh kgn13 :peluk :peluk …I want tuh safely assume that most *if not alla wi* onya have our religious faiths/beliefs, yuh get mi?!…most, if not alla wi, enjoy sex, so there has tuh be compromising when it comes to blending the two together, and the compromise lies between the man and the woman; in order to make any kind of relationship work, there must be compromise, but some man nuh know nutten bout dat, which is why dem cyaah lock it down wid ah good well rounded woman, and that’d just as real as it’s gonna get…
Kng13, everyone is different in their own special way, and that is the beauty of human nature…none ah wi is alike, not even identical twins..women are natural caregivers and nurturers; we bring forth children and love them, raise them, cook, clean, provide for them, worry bout dem well being 24/7, try our damn hardest to make the best provisions for them at all times, barely have time fe wi self…and den pan toppa alla dat, wi gaffe ah worry bout man weh want wi tun freak fidem 24/7 as well and if wi nuh good enough fidem and dem needs whenever them want it, wi get bun or criticized???…ana ned ting mi hate hear man tell ooman is dis,”I want ah woman just like my mother”…like I said, there must be compromise between both man and woman, because at the rate this world is going, me nuh have time fe ah try please and cater tuh man and him STILL find sitten fe complain bout, which is why most partners cheat, which leads tuh break ups and then it’s back tuh basics…starting all over from scratch…mi use tuh chat it up wid ah likkle man *he woulda been perfect for me because we have sooooooo much in common*…problem is, di more mi chat tuh di likkle man, di more mi get fe realize seh he don’t know what it is he wants within a woman, almost as if him nuh want nuh solidarity within ah relationship/one woman…and im fraid ah commitment…the more I noticed certain things the more mi start realize seh dis man ah waste my time, suh mi jus cut…dem deh kinda man is only around for good times and not the bad…women fe stop mek man choose dem and start do some choosing and refusing of their own…
@Yep… Nuh feel NO way my girrrrrl.
Whether you are Christian, God-Fearing or fear the Lord, most men DONT want to deal with women with PRINCIPLES a and high morals because it is just too much work emotionally for them.
The men do not want to be held ACCOUNTABLE For heartbreak, or too much lovey Dovey emotions.
It is more about bend over, do a cartwheel, WHILE you s*ck my di*k …bam slam thank you m’am, don’t call me in the morning.
So long as there are women out there who are willing to do anything, anywhere, publicly or in private and give head and what else on the first date, men will overlook women with too much values and principles.
Christian women or women who fear and love God are sexual the same way as other women. They yearn to feel sweet and seek out love just like other women. They are also often very attractive but CHOOSE not to wear extra revealing clothes and are more self-disciplined than other women, those are the reasons they often hold back more vs. ‘easy women.’ But the world is GOOD to whore$. Dem get cars, house, land, and tons more opportunities by using them HOLES alone.
Softspot, you summed it up perfectly!!!!…couldnt have said it any better..mi love how you nuh ramp fe explain everything in detail ah nuh left out nutten! *love it*…JMG’s local therapist/psycholosist :rose: :thumbup: :peluk
Yep… Love your 3:51PM comment. I’m open to dating a Christian or non Christian. It all depends on the man… As u said… We r all different. I do find though that some men who r Christians are even WORSE than non Christian men. They can b very dishonest & freaky individuals who say one thing and do another.
Ja, dem terrible man, very terrible, ah quick fe trick out di ooman dem and den turn roun ah label women as heathens and whores…mek mi tell yuh summen bout me…me’s ah very open minded woman and very accepting of everyone, as long as there is mutual respect given in return. I have friends from all walks of life and mi nuh more dan dem and dem nuh more dan me, yuh get mi?!…mi use tuh have a friend in high school who was an Athiest *she had her reasons why* and we got along just fine because she dealt with a very traumatic blow and just lost faith in God, but she was a good person, was not a whore like some of the others I knew and she did not cast judgement on people as others did unto her…there are a lot of good women out there who tun whore ah duh all sawta plastic surgery and lose dem morality and values, all sake ah man…man!!!!!…unu si man ah duh dem f**krey deh fe please ooman????????????…ah dat unu fe ask unu selves…..I am faaaaaaaaaaaaaaarr from ah saint, but I AM a very good woman who will compromise and bend fe please my man*as long as it nuh too outta character for me*, but there is just no pleasing some men cause dem is too damn demanding and want took much from ah women and don’t want duh shit in return fidi ooman; den dem wa act as if dem is God’s perfect creation tuh womankind just because dem might look nice, have money, drive nice, live nice, nicely packaged, etc…mi nuh ha nuh time fe dem deh eediat man cause what they think they and only they can attribute tuh my life, a better and more understanding and less uptight man, can do way better…
I honestly do not think it is about principles, I think many men are hungry for principled women of integrity when they are ready to settle down.
To me, Christian women seem unapproachable; they sometimes just lack any joyfulness, playfulness or friendliness. It’s as though once they become devout every trace of anything fun should be removed. Most religious men I have crossed paths with are not like this, they seem to maintain their sense of humour and playfulness and are much easier to have a conversation with.
When I think of any criticism I have ever received from Christians it always came from the women. You wearing shorts, your wearing jewellery, makeup, drinking coffee, drinking alcohol..always coming from the women. The men were always way more approachable and understanding of life and human nature. I honestly prefer to deal with Christian men than Christian women, they just seem more practical and logical about life, and much more forgiving and less judgmental..that may be the reason they lose on the dating scene..lol.
You need to be lighthearted and approachable to win on the dating scene. It doesn’t mean you compromise your values, but its okay for a Christian woman to make eye contact, smile, and even casually flirt with a man she finds appealing. If he drinks a little alcohol or coffee do not immediately cross him off the list of potentials, same if you see him tucking into that jerk pork dinner, don’t go “ewwwww, how do you eat that crap?”, keep your opinions for an appropriate time to discuss your dietary restrictions. Who knows, maybe his doctor will tell him he has high cholesterol and he will have to stop eating meat and drinking alcohol and he will.
FYI, my views are based on anecdotal evidence. I understand that others have had different experiences and they are equally valid.
@ anonymous 9:22 .. I understand what you are saying, but I don’t think that applies to only Christian women being necessarily ‘ uptight.’
Most women, especially Black women, 70 percent of whom have never been married as surveys show.. Tend to be a little or a lot apprehensive when they meet someone. And it is not about being ‘ unapproachable’ as it is more so about THE APPROACH.
I am sorry to say that many Black men today are UNCOUTH a and lacking class and MANNERS a. They way that they often approach you is a turn off. Some are quite disrespectful. Even signaling a woman with yuh finger is classless.
– men need to be more inspirational and admirable nowadays.
– women Christian or not, may be uptight because they are being CAUTIOUS …
Perhaps the heart was hurt or broken from before.
It is not that they are carrying a ‘ burden’ they want you to nessarily bare…. But a woman will open up and eventually melt and let go slowly, then loose for the man that captures her soul and shows that he can – heal- and nurture her, even though she may not be permanently broken.